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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about topless sunbathing?

281 replies

Belle1102 · 05/04/2017 15:32

Topless sunbathing on holiday can be just about tolerated. I, myself, have done it on occasion if the General vibe of the place seems totally laid back about it.
AIBU to be annoyed about the woman next door to me walking around her garden in nothing but a tiny thong with her huge fake boobs out?! I don't want to be looking at her practically naked body when I'm wanting to go into my garden. Plus my DP will get an eyeful of her too which will make me feel a bit shit. And whose to say that the neighbour's on the other side of her house two little boys won't get an eyeful too.
People can do what they want in their own homes and gardens, but here is nothing but a very low fence separating us and she is only about 1 meter away from my living room window Angry

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 05/04/2017 19:43

Can't believe that no-one has pointed out that it's her bald VULVA yet... Grin

user1471545174 · 05/04/2017 19:44

I don't get why it's offensive in a private garden but OK on a public beach.

viques · 05/04/2017 19:46

you are going to need a considerably bigger fence.......

TSSDNCOP · 05/04/2017 19:53

Whilst she's weeding, can't you go out and sort of absentmindedly pop a nice blanket round her shoulders in a "there Brenda, you'll be catching your death dear" way?

Original poster
Belle1102 · 05/04/2017 20:01

Hahaha! Love it Grin

OP posts:
Emergencyigloo · 05/04/2017 20:29

The neighbour at my boyfriend's flat does this. She's in her late 30s probably and trim and attractive. It doesn't make me jealous, but I can see how it would for women, as they may think their husband would be scoping her, so I have some sympathy for you, OP.

I'm sure husbands would complain if their wife hired a gardener based on his propensity to tend the weeds stripped half naked.

Fact is, 'your garden's your own kingdom' or not, she knows that people can see her, so is probably enjoying the attention.

Me personally, I'd start filming her and made sure she could see me filming her.
Then I'd ask her if she could do some aerobics too, because I'm thinking of uploading my videos to a special YouTube channel Grin

floraeasy · 05/04/2017 20:30

what are you going to do OP what does your husband thinkBlush

ittakes2 · 05/04/2017 20:33

I'm with you OP - I get it if someone's garden is secluded than I would think this is ok - but if she knows everyone can't help but get an eyeful than seems very disrespectful to me. Perhaps have a chat with the mum of the two boys and ring the council to see what your options are.
I enjoy looking out my windows so any suggestions you don't look out your windows just incase doesn't make sense to me.
By the way - my neighbours gardener works in the complete buff and has apparently has done for 60 years! It's not a pretty sight but doesn't bother me as I would have to make an effort to see him at work and obviously I don't do that. But if our fence was short like your's I would not be too happy especially as I have two small children.

floraeasy · 05/04/2017 20:33

you could pretend you are on holiday OP and use this as a staycation you've obviously got some good weather there and you've got the topless sunbather so just whip up a few cocktails get your sun lounger out and you could be in Spain Grin

summerholsdreamin · 05/04/2017 20:43

If it had been The Seychelles I might've asked if you were next to Katie Price!

Notttingham, not so much..

MaidOfStars · 05/04/2017 20:51

Me personally, I'd start filming her and made sure she could see me filming her
Good luck with that. And the ensuing criminal record...

innagazing · 05/04/2017 21:03

You could always invite the local sea cadets, scouts and B tec football lads over for the afternoon for a spot of 'gardening'....

ForalltheSaints · 05/04/2017 21:08

I hope this thread is not for real given the current weather.

gammaraystar · 05/04/2017 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lemonzest123 · 05/04/2017 21:47

You shouldn't have to live in fear of seeing her naked

Living in fear? Hmm Really?

SheSaidHeSaid · 05/04/2017 21:51

YABU but I also can't get my head around why she's doing it as there isn't any sun! Unless shes a nudist and actually shes trying to shield you from blushes by wearing a thong?

ZefStar · 05/04/2017 22:14

She sounds like an exibitionist and I'd be pissed off too, you should have a choice in wether you see someone totally in the buff and it sounds like you've been left with no choice. It'd be a totally different scenario if her garden was more sheltered and easily avoidable to you.

OverthinkingSpartacus · 06/04/2017 14:29

My next door neighbour used to sunbathe topless in her garden, we also had a shared patio that lead to seperate gardens but she'd be fully covered on the shared area, but it was the kitchen that faced onto it anyway, and the garden itself had a high fence. The only way you could see her was to go upstairs and look out of bedroom window.

There's was a dozen or so gardens all touching each other, hard to describe but the houses were all on an oval shaped street and the back gardens were all overlooking each other. Because of the high fences, she wasn't visible to anyone in their gardens or washing up in their kitchen, you had to go out of your way to see her.

Anyway a few of the wives complained to her because their husbands would be going upstairs to watch her. One of the men, who never lifted a finger to help his wife with children and housework, suggested cancelling the window cleaner for the back bedrooms and he'd wash them himself, just for summer though. Neighbour would say that they should be angry at their husbands, they are the ones going out of their way to watch her. The same men would be watching the teenage girls in their garden too. Fucking creeps.

Have to agree with her, if similar happened here, and dh made excuses to take himself off to watch her from the upstairs window it wouldn't be the woman in her own garden I'd be angry with.

OverthinkingSpartacus · 06/04/2017 14:37

Also, a woman going topless on holiday, but not in her garden thing. I can kind of understand. I don't go topless anywhere but I think there's an element of nobody knows you so you don't care what they think, whereas at home in your garden, you'd be worried about neighbours talking about you and facing the neighbours everyday.

We were going on holiday with Fil one year and I'd been shopping for a couple of bikinis. Was trying them on to show dh. I hadn't heard heard Fil come in and I walked downstairs felt fucking mortified when I saw Fil sat there. Went back upstairs and cringed and cringed, Fil didn't even look from the telly so it's not like his gawping at made me uncomfortable, dh couldn't understand why I felt weird and said Fil would be seeing me in the bikini on holiday what's the different. I still can't explain why Fil seeing me in a bikini on sand is ok, whereas seeing me in it on carpet isn't....

MyheartbelongstoG · 06/04/2017 14:38

The problem here is really that your partner might see her.

ExConstance · 06/04/2017 14:46

It would be quite OK with me, what is offensive about bare breasts?
I might embarrass myself having a good look at the surgical enhancement out of curiosity but why on earth shouldn't she take her top off in her own garden when it would be fine on a beach?

Isobela · 06/04/2017 14:53

Oh my god you are NOT being unreasonable!!

I can't believe how many people say the opposite!

I too live near Nottingham btw!

I would be livid, it's not a decent thing to do and I certainly wouldn't want to see it let alone dh!

I completely sympathize op :(

MaidOfStars · 06/04/2017 15:02

I would be livid
Grin

How livid? Apoplectic? Raving? Hopping mad? With a red face and steam coming out of your ears?

All because of a nearby naked woman?

Mrstumbletap · 06/04/2017 15:11

It's boiling in the south east today. My DS is in the paddling pool!

But in answer to your post OP she is on her property there isnt much you can do about it. Could you get a bigger fence?

If she is gorgeous and topless I can imagine I would feel a bit jealous too, but again not her fault and more to do with our own insecurities.

LordScuttlebutt · 06/04/2017 15:20

Bare butts are cool.

A nudist never has to hold out his hand to see if it is raining.