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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think headmistress is living in la la land?

442 replies

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 04/04/2017 17:39

Get out of a 30 min meeting at work 5missed calls on mobile and my secretary comes rushing over at same time land line calls. Headmistress from ds school. DS has run into post and banged his nose. Can I get there immediately. Apparently DS is fine but we have to pick him up. Explain I will be about 45 min as need to pack up and get train and walk to school. DH about an hour away. Quizzed about couldn't a grandparent pick up
DS (no the nearest is 2 hours away). Didn't we have friends? Yes but it's not 1955 so they all work? Other relatives? No they live miles away and yes they work. Set off to school. Head mistress rings DH goes through same questions. As no one has moved house in last 5min gets same answer. Get to school. DS sat chatting to school secretary happy as you like. Head mistress goes through same questions nope still no one hAs moved or given up job in last 45 min. But there must be someone says the head. Well no actually there isn't. But she wants someone who can be at school in 5 min. Start to get pissed off. No one I tell her. She then shakes her head and says I guess that's how it is these days then. Aibu to be pissed off and felt judged about the fact I have moved away from the family home, got a job and don't just drop off child and sit at home all day? If it had been urgent I would have jumped in a taxi

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/04/2017 17:42

She is a twat. Yanbu to be pissed off but yabu to care what a twat thinks.

honeysucklejasmine · 04/04/2017 17:42

Batshit. Why on earth was she so desperate to be rid of him?!

Astro55 · 04/04/2017 17:42

Well that's just the way things are these days! If it was serious then a member of staff would have to go to the hospital with them!

Or maybe if you were allowed an out of catchment achoolmparents could pop the kids in local to work rather than where they live - which is where most people spend Mia god their time anyway! It's all backwards

missmapp · 04/04/2017 17:42

Sounds like the secretary at my DC's school. When they ring, they expect us to be there immediately When I explain that I will be about 45 mins and DH over an hour , they sigh and clutch pearls.
I get there when I can. The DC's survive.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 04/04/2017 17:44

YANBU what a massive over reaction

hackmum · 04/04/2017 17:44

Oh god, that's so awful it's kind of funny.

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2017 17:45

In the same way you appear to be judging SAHP with your ' It's not 1955 so they all work'' comment?

Thattimeofyearagain · 04/04/2017 17:46

This happened to me when I was 5 hours away by car. Dh was overseas.
Only in my cars I had to rush back to......................sign a permission from for dc to go to the Xmas fayre, even though 17 yr Ol big brother was there with her. Bonkers Confused

HelenaDove · 04/04/2017 17:47

I expect she will be glad that you work next time the school needs money to fund something OP.

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 04/04/2017 17:47

Erm, she's not only out of her mind, her "corroborating" with your DH is offensive (does she consider you a liar??) and her attitude about people not magically having jobs two minutes from school/home is just… bizarre.

I understand the practical concern from her perspective if there's an emergency, but she also has to accept real life.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 04/04/2017 17:48

Well you need to get at least three of your relatives to move house...

LindyHemming · 04/04/2017 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Looneytune253 · 04/04/2017 17:50

To be fair it seems like the HT was a little heavy handed on this occasion but you need to think of a contingency plan in case of a real emergency. 45 mins (after however many minutes trying to get through) could be too long in a life or death situation. Taxi maybe instead of walking to school? No retired aunties or close friends nearby? Who usually picks up from school? Would they be willing to be emergency contact?

Original poster
Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 04/04/2017 17:50

Not judging SAHP. It's just that the majority of women work these days unlike in the past so shouldn't come as major surprise to head (herself a working woman) that mothers are more than likely not at home. I know 1 purely sahp

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/04/2017 17:51

Looneytunes if it was life or death the school would call an ambulance.

Saucery · 04/04/2017 17:52

In an ambulance emergency it makes little difference if a parent can get there in 10 mins or 45 mins, so I'm not sure what her point is.
Child fit to wait for parent or child needs immediate emergency treatment are completely different scenarios.
Mind you, I had a similar response when the school was closed for serious snowfall. Did I realise the staff needed to get home and didn't want to drive in it? Errr, yes, that's why I walked to pick him up, rather than skid my way in the car.

HelenaDove · 04/04/2017 17:53

Looneytunes my DM didnt retire until the age of 79. A lot of ppl cant afford to retire on the dot of 65.

Trifleorbust · 04/04/2017 17:55

She sounds ridiculous! Her teaching staff must be commuting to work and many of them will be parents. She must know that people live in less family-oriented ways now.

Original poster
Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 04/04/2017 17:56

No retired aunties nearby! Nope! We don't live in our home towns! All friends work. In life or death situation would have jumped Ina taxi or someone with a car at work would have given a lift. For 2mm scratch on nose no! dSWas fine in school office for extra 20 min. It's not exactly teaching resilence! I would also assume that in a life or death situation child with a teacher would be on way to hospital in an ambulance where local retired aunt would have to travel just as far to get to!

OP posts:
AtiaoftheJulii · 04/04/2017 17:58

you need to think of a contingency plan in case of a real emergency - if it were a real emergency, he'd be in an ambulance to the hospital. There's nothing extra a parent or random auntie could do.

Original poster
Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 04/04/2017 17:58

And use wrap around 3days a week

OP posts:
Teabagtits · 04/04/2017 18:00

Headmistress asked us if she could call our neighbour to collect dd who had been throwing up when I said it would take me 25mins to get to school. Our neighbour is 94 and deaf!

ToothAbcessSucks · 04/04/2017 18:04

Also like to point out everyone is saying auntie. Why not uncle?

lucyandpoppy123 · 04/04/2017 18:09

YANBU I had this with a GP when I ran to get an emergency appointment they asked if I could get there in 10 minutes I said no because I don't drive (GP's a good half hour walk away) then asked if family could take me (no, I live an hour away from my family and OH's family at work), could neighbours not do it? No, I don't have 'neighbours' as such as detached property and had only moved there recently so didn't even know them. Could I not cycle? No I don't have a bike. Could I not borrow a bike from neighbours?? I was like ....no. It was ridiculous!

lucyandpoppy123 · 04/04/2017 18:10

*rang