DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

[tactum]

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

Think the morality police need to look at the morals surrounding their thoughts of about children rather than leggings.

If they are having inappropriate thoughts the problem.is them.not clothing.

If the leggings are thin enough that they become see through when she bends over then yes, she needs to be told she shouldn't wear those with a short top. But if they're not see through then I don't see the problem, I'm team leggings-are-trousers and wear them to work most days with jumpers etc.

Of course GogoGobo, I am not really policing who they speak with at school but I can ban unsuitable kids (or unsuitable parents) from my house or any party I organise. Who doesn't? Thankfully, they are all in a good school, so most kids are not a problem.

I am pretty sure most parents would not tolerate the local bully in their home either.

No we don't invite the class bullies nor would I want trouble makers in the house.

But why are you making assumptions like these based on clothing?

You wouldn't be stereotyping now would you?

Show her this little gem -

Hahaha.

Just had a conversation with DD aged 10 about this. (I laughed at the comment about cowboys and miners and she asked what was funny.)

We've come to the conclusion that for us it's not an age thing about when waist length (or shorter) tops and leggings look wrong, it's a height thing. She has classmates who she thinks still suit the look, but they're a fair bit shorter than her. She's decided it's not a look she likes on herself any more - bit of a fashionista - so will wear a long top or skirt & short top combo with leggings these days.

I do think this issue is very marmite - you either think it looks fine at any age or you think there's a cut-off point. :)

The exception is dancers, in a dance studio they seem to suit the crop top and leggings look for ever. LOL!

It's fair to say you personally don't like the look - surely that's true of many styles of clothing - but fashion doesn't have intrinsic values, so it's purely your opinion. Not a case of right or wrong.

There are only 3 things that speak the truth - young children, drunks & leggings!

absinthe I read it as you banned children who weren't appropriately dressed. You didn't mention the "local bully".
Personally I don't really micro examine what kids and teenagers wear. I am more interested in their character and individual qualities.

I really don't get this whole "bum visible" thing Does everyone not have an arse? Do your kids not wear jeans? Or a swimming costume? Or shorts?

Are you planning to perpetually dress your kids in trousers with at least three inches of leeway so their bum shape can't be made out?

GogoGobo

You understood correctly, I do ban a few individuals from my house, based on behaviour or attire (or their parents!). It's never really been an issue to be fair, my kids are more conservative than I am - and/or know that it's not worth trying when some controversial elements are concerned.

Ban individuals based on their attire absinthe
We are talking about children aren't we?

when clothes are concerned, we are talking about teens...

I'm with you DixieNromans
I wouldn't sit there piously thinking "not my place to correct their spiteful little comments because I didn't give birth to them"
But I guess if they were wearing the right clothes they can be forgiven anything because they must be from the right kind of family.
I'm going to say it. I think Absinthe is Katy Hopkins

What depressing reading! I had no idea that so many women were still enslaved by sexist and misogynistic attitudes. I have a 14 year old daughter who I am proud to say is free to wear her own clothes where and when she likes. Other people's opinions of her appearance could not matter less.

This thread isn't sexist.

It would only be sexist if it was considered appropriate for men to go out in sheer, skintight trousers.

And that's certainly not the fashion here.

when clothes are concerned, we are talking about teens...

Let's all encourage dc to make friends with clones then .....

why does every subject have to turn to sexism? Do you always feel the need to be a martyr because you are female? I wouldn't let my boy go like this either, I treat my kids pretty equally, not everything is a gender fight.

It would only be sexist if it was considered appropriate for men to go out in sheer, skintight trousers.

Well quite. 'AIBU to think it's fine for DS to go to town wearing see through skin tight trousers and a short top' .....

Yes increasinglymiddleaged there's a suitability uniform didn't you know.
Can't help thinking of Mean Girls when I imagine Absinthe "chauffeuring" the children around!

What is your objection to what that young man is wearing Absinthe?

I worry you will be featuring in the stately homes thread in a few years.....

It is just a fashion like any other.
It isn't aesthetically pleasing, mind you. And I would get a cold belly and sore back if I exposed myself like that.
It will pass!

Can't help thinking of Mean Girls when I imagine Absinthe chauffeuring" the children around!

I wish! It sounds better than it is, more EastEnders in real life I am afraid, we are definitively working class. It doesn't mean anyone should go out without trousers, boys or girls.