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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

274 replies

tactum · 04/04/2017 09:27

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

OP posts:
miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:04

Morphene you are judging me and body shaming me actually because i dont want to walk around in leggings. Isnt that just the same thing?

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:06

Ok fair enough. Just seen your other post. Sorry missed it. But i was just exoressing my opinion on the clothing as op asked. As were you.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 13:06

Good grief girls and women can wear what the fuck they like. My teen dds wear sporty clothes, crop tops, mini skirts and doc martins although not all together. Grin they were allowed to choose their clothes from early ages as were my lads.

I am 50 and mumsnetting in leggings and a top. I was allowed to choose and wear what I liked from my earliest memory.

No body hang ups here.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:07

I am the only person in my friendship group who covers their hair. And some do the leggings/gym thing. Some dont and i dont care what they wear but if op is not happy about it then she should talk to her daughter

mouldycheesefan · 04/04/2017 13:09

My 14 year old would not be allowed to wear a crop top.

Havingahorridtime · 04/04/2017 13:09

miserable if kids / teens are going to say nasty things about other young people they will do do regardless of clothing choice. Spots, hairstyle, frumpy clothing, revealing clothing, weight etc..... They will find something to be nasty about.

Morphene · 04/04/2017 13:11

miserable

the difference is that I don't believe anybody should be shamed by being told their clothing is inappropriate, immodest or simply unattractive. That goes for teenagers wearing leggings and for adults wearing burkas.

You seem to think you should be allowed to tell others their clothing is inappropriate or lacks self-respect, but don't appreciate being told the same thing yourself.

One of us is being hypocritical (and given the issues you appear to have with rhetorical devices I will point out explicitly that it is YOU being hypocritical).

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 13:12

But miserable at 14 girls and boys should be choosing their own styles of hair and dress and examining their identities. Obviously taking account of school rules.

I loved seeing my kids do the Emo/Goth phases it was hilarious and fun. They grew out of it and now pretty conventional.

It's the fun of teenage years.

Ohyesiam · 04/04/2017 13:13

It's not my favourite look for my teen daughter, but I make sure her leggings fit well, and don't get used ( alone) when they go see through.
I've also talked to her about being mistaken for a much older girl, and about dodgy people who will check her body out, and some good responses to personal remarks.

Bluntness100 · 04/04/2017 13:13

My 19 year old daughter has lived in leggings for a few years now, however she always makes sure they are thick ones, as do her friends and all of them wear long tops with them, the only time a crop top would emerge is when it was going out some place of an evening.

The only time I've ever seen any of them attired in a way that made me raise an eyebrow is the short shorts, denim shorts thing. With bottom half of bum cheeks hanging out. It seems to be a fashion amongst them, although I've never seen my daughter do it, but they actually don't seem to notice Hmm that half their bare arse is on display.

Goodasgoldilox · 04/04/2017 13:14

One of the parental credentials is needing to say (or if you are wise, just think): 'You aren't going out like that?'

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 13:14

mouldy you tell your 14 year old she can't wear a crop top?? Why? You do know she will just change at sleepovers don't you.

sirfredfredgeorge · 04/04/2017 13:14

I don't think a pair of jeans and a shirt have any known protective qualities that leggings and a Crop top don't have.

Tell that to the cowboys and miners that originally wore them!

mouldycheesefan · 04/04/2017 13:15

Don't care what she wears at sleepovers.

PoorYorick · 04/04/2017 13:21

I generally support women's right to dress however the fuck they like, bikini or burka. But leggings with nothing over the crotch area are just so ugly (nothing to do with the wearer's shape or size, it's just an inherently hideous look) that I'd do whatever it takes to get anyone to change it. Skirt over the leggings, maybe? The 90s are supposed to be back.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:25

Ok fair enough i acceot that. But i had said i have never said anyhing to anyone about their clothing. Just on this thread

TheBookIsOnTheTable · 04/04/2017 13:28

It's a fashionable look. It's a good look. There's nothing wrong with it.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 13:29

If you don't care that she wears them at sleepovers or changes at a friends house for a party? I don't get that logic. Isn't that causing her to hide things from you?

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 13:30

I don't find a woman's crotch or a men's crotch hideous and ugly really. What an odd view.

Violetcharlotte · 04/04/2017 13:30

Winetemptress
I'd imagine she means she doesn't care that she wears them at sleepovers as she'll be inside someone's house with a group of friends.

PoorYorick · 04/04/2017 13:36

It looks like you're wearing tights with the feet cut off and nothing over them. Half cut up underwear as outerwear. It looked half dressed and bloody stupid in 1993 and it looks just as ugly now, but also dated to boot.

FlyingElbows · 04/04/2017 13:38

My hairdresser employs a really lovely junior for after school and Saturdays. At our last visit she was wearing leggings and a cropped t-shirt. I have never seen a tangerine thong under spit-through leggings before and I saw way more of that girl's vulva than I ever wanted to and 100% more than was appropriate in any work place other than a strip club. Totally totally inappropriate. It's all very well to shout "girls should be able to wear what they like" but I seriously doubt any grown woman would dress like that in a professional capacity. If she worked for me she'd have been sent straight back home again to find something more appropriate to wear.

DubiousCredentials · 04/04/2017 13:40

I think it's been agreed that see through leggings are never a good thing Flying.

PoorYorick · 04/04/2017 13:47

I thought I'd seen some fugly fashions in the past but I swear even 1986 didn't have anything on the mess we're stuck with right now. At least the 80s were highly stylised and glittery and sort of fun to look at, all those bright clashing colours and blocky face paint makeup and conspicuously OTT balloon hair. What the fuck is going on now. Perhaps I should wear a body over a pair of stupid cut up tights leggings and nothing else, like a really shit and fat superhero.

I keep wanting to go to bed and wake up in a world where everyone doesn't look like a prepubescent Minnie Mouse's entire wardrobe just fell on top of them.

Branleuse · 04/04/2017 13:52

as long as shes wearing opaque leggings, I dont see the issue