Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

274 replies

tactum · 04/04/2017 09:27

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

OP posts:
DefinitelyOdd · 04/04/2017 22:32

Odoadoodoo - that wearing leggings that are so stretched that they are see through is not an appropriate outfit. People, of all ages, need to appreciate how to dress appropriately. And yes, that does meab for their age and perhaps their body shape as well.

skerrywind · 04/04/2017 22:36

People, of all ages, need to appreciate how to dress appropriately.

What a dull world it would be if we all dressed appropriately.

Astro55 · 04/04/2017 22:37

People, of all ages, need to appreciate how to dress appropriately.

By people do you mean young teens who want to fit in? Follow fashion and be like their friends?

I'm sure short 60's skirts didn't suit everyone - I'm more certain the 80's didn't suit anyone!! 70's flower power anyone?

You don't have to like it - but it's a path they all have to try and experiment.

Judging young kids non their fashion sense is horrible -

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 22:40

Well No one cried. No one vomited and no one cared. I can return the "Giles wore leggings and I survived" badges I'd had made.

Perhaps posters on this thread could take a leaf out other people's books and quit the judgemental crap.

Aria2015 · 04/04/2017 22:42

I think this is a common 'look' right now. I don't have teenage dc (yet!) but I know a few friends from work who do and their daughters seem to uniformly dress like this. They also like to wear tight high waisted jeans and cropped tops. TBH I think if you are young and have the figure for it then go for it! It may seem a bit provocative to you but I think it's just on trend right now. If you talk to her about it, she'll probably just sling a big T-shirt on top of her crop top and then take it off when you aren't around anyway - sorry but I'd totally have done that! Wink

SaucyJack · 04/04/2017 22:43

"Truth is you will never see a thread about what is ok for teenage boys to be seen wearing simply because males are not subjected to this old fashioned nonsense"

Riiight. And you don't think it's anything to do with the fact that males don't tend to go out half-naked in the first place?

If you want to address the inequality, then why not get to the root cause? When, why, and for whose benefit, are we normalising young girls and woman wearing less and less clothing every year?

When did you last see Ben Affleck or Justin Timberlake turn up for an awards ceremony with a slit cut into their trousers so you can see a cheeky glimpse of side bollock? You don't, of course. That would be incredibly demeaning for them. Yet the woman do the equivalent all the time, and no one bats an eyelid.

Why are we pretending it's all so wonderful and liberating to go out dressed so that everyone and their dog can see what you've had for breakfast?

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 22:46

I see loads of men walking around shirtkess. My old neighbour I don't think I'd recognise him with clothes on.

No-one says a word about men sat outside pubs half naked

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 23:44

jack nonsense there are plenty of pics of Beckham etc in underpants.

It's not about being wonderful and liberating at 14 it's about exploring your own identity which generally means dressing like your particular friendship group. Grin

What is womderful and liberating is getting to my old age of 50 and wearing leggings and a tip or skinny jeans or a dress because I could not give one flying fuck what anyone thinks but me.

If I want to he half naked I bloody well will be and if I choose to dress head up foot in black so be it.

Liberation isn't about dress it's about choosing yo dress hoe you like and not caring about being judged and not being controlled by other people's attitudes.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 23:46

skerry best post of the thread there Smile

Morphene · 05/04/2017 14:33

I went swimming the other day and there were SO many men going topless, I mean you could see their nipples. Where oh where is their sense of self-respect where is their modesty?

It turns out modesty is something only valuable when applied to women (and then only as a means of control).

Increasinglymiddleaged · 05/04/2017 20:02

Oh seriously Morphene. It was a swimming pool so I suspect there were also perfectly appropriately dressed women or girls in bikinis. What exactly does this have to do with what either men/ women/ boys/ girls wear around town?

Morphene · 05/04/2017 20:22

the point just flew past your head making a zipping noise didn't it?

Increasinglymiddleaged · 05/04/2017 20:31

So are you suggesting that females should also just wear trunks in the pool? In fact people take the piss out of men in speedos.

Daydream007 · 05/04/2017 21:03

YABU. Crop top and leggings are perfectly fine for a teen

Ericaequites · 06/04/2017 03:07

Leggings, jeggings, and skinny jeans are immodest, unattractive on most figures, and unsanitary.

Loose trousers are more healthy for the naughty bits. I'm not Amish by any means, but was a Quaker for several years. If you set high standards early, young people won't even consider certain sorts of behavior or dress.
As for trousers slipping down, there are belts or braces.

SabineUndine · 06/04/2017 03:33

Morphene Grin
Zzzzip!

Helspopje · 06/04/2017 03:37

Totally missing point of the thread, but can i point out that about 30% of women wearing gym leggings at my gym inadvertently flash their underwear (or lack thereof) as even decently thick looking leggings can go see thru when stretched at the bottom of a squat. Pays to buy good quality ti begin with and/or have a friend to work out with who will tell you if the world and his wife can see more than they want to go

elkegel · 06/04/2017 04:30

Wearing leggings and a crop top is not "wearing progressively less clothing" though is it? It's wearing what we wore in the 1980s.

Yes, there is a general point to be made about why women's clothes tend to be more form fitting, but it isn't feminist to modesty police and slutshame young women and girls.

treaclesoda · 06/04/2017 04:57

Leggings, jeggings, and skinny jeans are immodest I still don't understand this. In what way are they immodest? They don't show any flesh.

If you set high standards early, young people won't even consider certain sorts of behavior or dress This is just wishful thinking. I was raised in a very conservative Christian upbringing. I wasn't even allowed to wear anything black in colour when I was growing up because it was deemed unsuitable. There was no alcohol, no socialising on a Sunday, no going to pubs etc. All modelled by example and strictly enforced. And as soon as I was old enough I disregarded all of those things. Although at no time was I forbidden from wearing leggings. Confused

And I find it really creepy when a grown up refers to 'naughty bits'.

MaisyPops · 06/04/2017 05:39

Leggings and cropped t shirt seems to be a uniform around here too for teens..

Personally, If they are cotton black leggings then they shouldnt be worn as trousers in ny opinion. They are not trousers (contrary to what one of my colleagues thinks).

If theyrr activewear leggings or thicker jeggings then fine.

Nothing to do with letchy men and everything tondo with the fact wearing leggings as trousers looks.ridiculous.

derxa · 06/04/2017 05:46

I feel I have stumbled across some kind of mysogynistic controlling frightening parallel universe. I agree. I bloody love leggings. I can't for the life of me understand what is wrong with a 14 year old wearing this outfit.

elkegel · 06/04/2017 05:51

Quite, derxa.

MaisyPops · 06/04/2017 06:20

I love leggings and wear them regularly. But black cotton leggings arent trousers. I think of them as closer to tights e.g. bum and crotch should be covered in leggings too to avoid it looking silly.

Jeggings, activewear leggings are and more trouser based.
Its not misogynistic to say that.

14 year olds will wear whatever is in fashion. If they want to look silly wearing cotton leggings as trousers so be it. We all did things like that as a teen.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 06/04/2017 07:16

And I find it really creepy when a grown up refers to 'naughty bits'.

Well it is really creepy. And for me this isn't about 'covering up' particularly although why people would want to wear see through trousers as some do is Confused particularly as in the end they will get the piss ripped out of them, but it doesn't bother me. It is also sick that whenever people talk about dress and girls the conversation automatically has to be sexualised, and people assume it is about 'covering up' rather than 'looking ridiculous'.

The thing that people are refusing to acknowledge on this thread though is that not every comment to do with clothes is 'misogyny'. Parents have to teach children what is appropriate for different situations, if they ignore then that's their choice. Girls have more freedom in a lot of ways I think over what to wear than boys.

Other than daft comments about 'zips' no one has bothered to explain the swimming pool relevance. Now by all means treat me like I'm thick, I have a master's degree fwiw and people in RL generally think otherwise. But if you have a point to make then make it please or the discussion is rather pointless.

Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 06/04/2017 07:18

What about buying her high waist skinny jeans..still gets the look she wants but a tad less revealing