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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

274 replies

tactum · 04/04/2017 09:27

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

OP posts:
trulybadlydeeply · 04/04/2017 10:01

Yes, there's definitely leggings, and there's leggings. The ones which are so thin that you can see the underwear through, and every nook and cranny, are not a good look on anyone of any shape or size (IMO), unless worn with a long top. On the other hand, my DD has found some good ones in places like Next, that are much thicker and look much nicer, and are the same as jeggings, really.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 10:01

Dd refuses all trousers besides leggings.

It's going to cost me a fortune to replace with the better quality onesHmm

FirstSeemItThenBeIt · 04/04/2017 10:01

Blobby how could a girl wearing sports gear of leggings and a top be showing too much?

What a shitty attitude.

LilQueenie · 04/04/2017 10:02

yanbu I won't even let my 5 yr old show off her backside in leggings. Always covered. Some looks just don't work.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 10:03

Not as if men frequently walk around shirtless is it....

MrsMeeseeks · 04/04/2017 10:04

I think teenagers are supposed to wear stuff that the older generation disapproves of!

Easy for me to say as I don't have a teenaged daughter, though. Grin

MrsJayy · 04/04/2017 10:05

I am baffled at seeing bum shape it is a bum we all have 1

CotswoldStrife · 04/04/2017 10:05

My DD went to a party last summer with some slightly older girls and the crop top and leggings look was very popular!

I remember leggings the first time around and they were thicker then - more like jeggings, I suppose - this time they are much thinner and show more!

I feel your pain OP, I have also found myself gently trying to cover my DD's bum with a skirt or similar over thinner leggings!

justnowords · 04/04/2017 10:06

as long as they are not skin coloured or see through she should be fine Grin

Absintheshots · 04/04/2017 10:07

it doesn't help that not all teens are skinny. It's sad when you see a group of slim girls and a couple of chubby ones, all wearing the same outfits. It doesn't do any favour to the bigger ones at all. It's a shame parents are not advising them better. Why would you let your kid look awful that way?

ohhereweareagain · 04/04/2017 10:07

I agree op. i don't like crop tops either. i don't give a flying fuck if they are 'in fashion' ffs. i wouldn't let dd wear them although fortunately she doesn't want to. she is also 14

FirstSeemItThenBeIt · 04/04/2017 10:13

Absinthe or maybe 'chubby' girls can wear whatever the fuck they want and not give a shit who's judging them? It's not sad, for goodness sake. Angry

Butteredparsnip1ps · 04/04/2017 10:16

I agree it's a teenage fashion, but it's a look that can be done well or not. I would probably try to help her to make the look work.

Thin, see through leggings that are too tight on the crotch, with the resulting camel toe aren't a great look. On the other hand, thick properly fitting leggings look fine. My DD sometimes used to wear tights under her leggings to make them thicker.

Buying a size up avoids camel toe and a bum that looks like a sack of spuds!

Original poster
tactum · 04/04/2017 10:16

Blimey Absinthe I think its your attitude that isn't doing them any favours Hmm

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 04/04/2017 10:17

chubby girls jesus wept Hmm

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 10:18

Absinthe or maybe 'chubby' girls can wear whatever the fuck they want and not give a shit who's judging them? It's not sad, for goodness sake.

I suspect that you weren't a chubby teenager.

I think I would be discussing appropriate outfits for different occasions OP. Y'know OK for round the house/ sport/ going round to friend's house. Non uniform day or round town maybe stick a skirt on. Teenagers need guidance in lots of things, because they are children.

CanadaMoose91 · 04/04/2017 10:20

I see no problem with sports leggings - they are thick and don't show any underwear. As for the shape thing - I don't get why people disapprove of leggings but are fine with skinny jeans...they show the same things!

As for crop tops, who cares? Is someone going to faint at the sight of a navel? It's just clothes.

Maybe I'm too liberal for Mumsnet these days...

gingina · 04/04/2017 10:23

DSD favours this look but she has a bit of a tummy and slight overhang. I haven't the heart to tell her it looks awful, I've bought her some longer tops and am hoping she will wear them but at the end of the day she has to experiment with different clothes and looks in order to find her own style.
I'm sure my mum balked at some of my hideous 80s outfits back in the day as well.

Absintheshots · 04/04/2017 10:29

it's all well and good to say you should wear whatever you want, but is it fair to let your kids get fat in the first place, and to let them be the object of ridicule? People get teased, get mocked, get judged. we all did at school even when we were not specially bullied, it's just life. Read the threads, it doesn't get better when you grow up, you just learn to ignore it.

There's a HUGE difference between accepting your body shape, and thinking it's all right to be unhealthy. Be proud of being short/ tall/ curvy/ boyish and learn to make the most of it. Do not settle for being fat or anorexic, it is not right, it's not healthy and should never be encouraged.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 10:30

I don't get why people disapprove of leggings but are fine with skinny jeans...they show the same things!

No, they don't unless they are ultra skinny and made of very thin material.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 04/04/2017 10:31

I definitely wore crop tops and leggings in the 90s although can't remember if I wore that combination together. I think the leggings were slightly earlier with the baggy t-shirts and jumpers.

I'm glad I got some use out of a flatish smooth abdomen before children vandalised it!

I have no issue with decent quality leggings.

Then again, in hot weather, I'll be out running in cycling shorts and cropped tops so who am I to comment.Grin

thegreylady · 04/04/2017 10:32

Looking back to 1960 my worst ever outfit was Crimplene hot pants with matching top in bilious green! I thought I looked wonderful .

diddl · 04/04/2017 10:34

If it's sports wear then OK.

If not, looks like a bra & tights.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 04/04/2017 10:35

It's just a fashion. At DD1's uni they all wear Nike and Adidas gymwear (brightly coloured leggings and crop tops) to go clubbing in.

gingina · 04/04/2017 10:35

@absintheshots - don't judge. Nobody let my DSD 'get fat'. She has a podgy tummy, maybe due to a medical issue, maybe genetic, who knows. She wants to dress like her friends and is unaware that this style just doesn't suit her. As she grows up she will find clothes that do suit her but for now we don't draw attention to it as we don't want to destroy her confidence.

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