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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

274 replies

tactum · 04/04/2017 09:27

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

OP posts:

happy2bhomely · 04/04/2017 13:53

www.next.co.uk/g50152s11#468278

My 13 year old wears these all the time. Sometimes with a short t-shirt. So sometimes her bum is showing, but sometimes her midriff too. She still has a childlike figure but is about 5ft 6.

She looks lovely and I'm just pleased that she is confident enough in her own skin to not feel like she has to cover up. When I was her age I never left the house without a jumper tied around my waist to cover my bum. Mind you, that was after my dad called me slag for going to the corner shop wearing jogging bottoms, trainers and a vest that showed my belly button.

Ericaequites · 04/04/2017 13:54

Leggings, jeggings, crop tops,and skinny jeans aren't appropriate in any context, even on latency age girls.. Don't buy those sorts of clothes for your daughter. Don't let her wear such clothes out of the house if she borrowed them from others or bought them self. You are the parent; you must tell her what to do.

DubiousCredentials · 04/04/2017 13:57

Garnethair · 04/04/2017 13:59

Leggings are fine with whatever. Footless tights plus crop top is just wrong.

reallyanotherone · 04/04/2017 14:04

I'm just going to leave this here..

Porpoiselife · 04/04/2017 14:04

I don't think giving my daughter a bit of guidance on what looks nice and what doesn't is body shaming.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 04/04/2017 14:07

I can't believe so many women are fine with teaching their daughters they should be dressing for appearances and not comfort!

"No daughter, dont put on that really comfy outfit 'cause it makes you look like shit, and not looking like shit is really, really important. Put this really uncomfortable outfit on as u look super in it. I know its not what you feel comfortable wearing but that doesn't matter as you're now not offending anyone's eyes who happens to be passing by. Ffs

I disagree. I have no problem with comfy leggings. So long as they are of suitable fit and material. Just as I have offered counsell to DD that her leggings are wearing thin, so have I offered similar guidance to DS that checked shorts and stripey sandals aren't a great look.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 14:17

erica you are joking right?

leggins, jeggins and skinny jeans

My God are you Armesh? Don't be so ridiculous and if you are seriously that controlling of your daughters you will loose them and serve you right.

The frightening thing is what bollocks are you teaching your sons.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 14:18

really thanks for that on my bleak Monday :)

treaclesoda · 04/04/2017 14:23

Leggings, jeggings, crop tops,and skinny jeans aren't appropriate in any context

Why aren't they appropriate?

DubiousCredentials · 04/04/2017 14:27

There's a big difference between "dd change out of those leggings because I can see your pants through them" and "dd change out of those leggings because I think they don't look nice" though. First one, fine, the second, not necessary.

Absintheshots · 04/04/2017 14:30

Thanks really
I am now looking forward to the day my son demands to wear leggings too. At least I can be consistent and tell him his sister is forbidden to wear inappropriate clothing too. Phew.

Skinny jeans are fine on the right body, skinny teens are who they were designed for in the first place. They might be skinny, but they are still jeans, you know trousers.

these are not suitable either
jeans

or no jeans

QueenOfTheCatBastards · 04/04/2017 14:31

Sod the fashion context, will nobody think of the weather?! It's pishing down here today! :o

Amar1na · 04/04/2017 14:49

Our daughters are only 11 and 9, but DH won't let them go out in leggings with their bum visible. They're both stick thin and long-legged with no shape as yet. I've told him I think they look fine at this age, but he's not having it. Nor will he let them wear the very short kind of shorts. He says it's all "chav" and inappropriate and there is no need for it. I'm bracing myself for the teenage years.
I must admit I think crop-tops are not the best look outside the gym, but thicker leggings are similar to the "jegging" style very soft jeans.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 14:55

Fucking hell i must be really odd because I loved seeing my teens dye their hair, experiment with clothes snd gain some Independance and sense of themselves not extensions of how we would prefer them to be.

Some seriously wierd comments on here and how controlling.

Winetemptress · 04/04/2017 14:57

amar how will your dh take decent from his dds if he easily over rules you? Personally I would nip that mysogynistic bollocks in the bud now.

DubiousCredentials · 04/04/2017 14:58

I don't know what could possibly be inappropriate about a 9yr olds bum covered by a pair of leggings

Amar1na · 04/04/2017 15:04

I did tell him it's nothing compared to the "skorts" they wear for PE at school, but when he started looking concerned about that I just changed the subject. He's ok, in general life, he just thinks leggings are tights.

Absintheshots · 04/04/2017 15:08

he just thinks leggings are tights.

I agree with him, and the same rules apply to a 9 year old or a 14 year old. How can I keep a straight face and tell my elder daughter that she is not allowed to wear clothes that her little sister can? It's normally the other way round.

On another note, I'd rather wear leggings in the rain than jeans, they dry quicker

BlueBlueElectricBlue · 04/04/2017 15:14

My DD(11) is so skinny (nothing to do with my genes) that most trousers look ridiculous on her - loads of spare fabric - and they slip down her non-existent hips and bum and annoy her. Leggings are about the only trousers that fit her.

That aside, let children experiment a bit, or go with the crowd, or whatever. Clothes aren't a morality issue and this thread has a definite streak of the puritanical dressed up as concern in it.

DubiousCredentials · 04/04/2017 15:16

My dd is the same BlueBlue. Thankfully we don't have a morality issue with leggings here

Absintheshots · 04/04/2017 15:20

Leggings are about the only trousers that fit her.

but legging are NOT trousers! Otherwise, they would be called.. trousers...

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 15:22

What like jeans are called trousers or combats

Cargo pants
Jeggins
Jeans
Combats

All trousers.

GogoGobo · 04/04/2017 15:23

absinthe do you really not let your kids socialise with those you deem poorly dressed/too much make up?

treaclesoda · 04/04/2017 15:25

My 10 year old is also very slim. So even leggings are usually baggy on her instead of being tight. I wonder how the morality police deal with that conundrum?

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