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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

274 replies

tactum · 04/04/2017 09:27

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 04/04/2017 12:50

Agree with OP.

I am (sadly) old enough to remember the clothes show, and a comment from that has stuck with me all these years...

"Leggings are not trousers. They are thick tights without feet."

I realise that fashion has changed since then but I think unless you're in a gym or a dance studio, leggings worn as if they were trousers look awful, no matter how young or slim the wearer is.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 12:50

Its not nust about men. I and many other women and people of other generations dont want to see people bum cracks and leggigs wedged up. Its just not nice.

ohdoadoodoo · 04/04/2017 12:50

Abs you sound utterly bonkers.

Completely ironic how you say you don't want your kids to be subjected to hurtful comments, yet you're the only person dishing them out.

At least they'll know what to look for in a hurtful moo.

Morphene · 04/04/2017 12:51

miserable if the only way to have self-respect is to cover your body modestly then how come you aren't in a burka?

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 12:51

Actually i fo wear a headscarf but thats nothing to do with you. Im saying walkong around basicallg wearing tights is not always ideal

Havingahorridtime · 04/04/2017 12:52

miserable I think telling children that they shouldn't wear certain things because of how it looks is far more likely to contribute to body issues than letting them wear what they are happy and comfortable in. As long as they are reasonably
Covered (not walking the streets in just underwear) then I don't see why we have such issues over children's
Clothing choices.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 12:53

People can wear what they want. I was just agreeing with op. Which i am entitled to. Or is everything that goes against what you agree with wrong Hmm maybe thats why the teens you know are having all these cosmetic surgeries Hmm

Morphene · 04/04/2017 12:54

Wow, so you are out there parading your uncovered face then?

waterrat · 04/04/2017 12:54

Wish i could still wear crop top and leggings ! Wear it while you can i say !!

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 12:55

I agree having. But if op feels that she needs to tell her daughter not to wear certain things then she should. Shes the oarent and just trying to protect her daughter. Is that not ok? For me personally leggings are underwear... might not be for others but for me are. A lot of my friends kids dress like this and i have never said anything. I wouldnt. But if op feels its not appropriate then as her mother she has every right to say something

Violetcharlotte · 04/04/2017 12:56

This seems to be a standard look for teenagers around here. I think it's ok as long as they're decent quality leggings, not cheap, see through ones.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 12:56

Morphene. I dont cover my face. I dont wear huge baggy clothes i wear a dress/ tunic with jeans or trousers or a long skirt etc. Why do i need to cover my face....? Cdawl back under your rock and not change this into a different kind of thread. My religion was never oart of this.

Morphene · 04/04/2017 12:57

miserable where is your self-respect, showing your face in public to the gaze of all those strange men?

Do you think perhaps that you should be allowed to decide what you want to cover and expose for yourself, without criticism from others over your level of self-respect and self-esteem? If so then kindly extend the same respect to others.

Havingahorridtime · 04/04/2017 12:58

miserable I was an avid hot pant wearer in my teen years and would regularly wear tiny crop tops and teeny skirts and funnily enough I don't have any body issues, nor have I had or desire to have any cosmetic surgery. I was immensely proud of my firm toned teenage body and was happy to wear skimpy clothes. I had zero body hang ups, but then I also didn't have a mother who body shamed me or told me To cover up.

DubiousCredentials · 04/04/2017 12:58

If other peoples kids are saying stuff like that I my car I'd pull them up on fairly swiftly.

I can't believe some of the attitudes on this thread. A 10yr old is the "wrong shape" for leggings and short t shirt?? Confused

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 12:58

But thats what your doing to me? Jusdging me on what i wear...?!

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:00

No i agree thats fine to wear what you want. But the OP is not confortable with it. So she should guide her daughter. Im not saying you shouldnt wear these things i am just saying i dont like it personally. But because you all like it that must mean i am wrong to like or not like something. So actually i should be ashamed because i choose not to dress like that.... so basically doing the one thing you dont want to do to people.
Op asked a question and i answered it from my view. We all see thi gs differently you know

Havingahorridtime · 04/04/2017 13:00

Shes the oarent and just trying to protect her daughter. Is that not ok

Protect her from what exactly?
I don't think a pair of jeans and a shirt have any known protective qualities that leggings and a Crop top don't have.

Kewcumber · 04/04/2017 13:01

At 52 my mother is still horrified that I go out in public with no tights or make-up.

Meh - they're clothes, pay as much attention to your own clothes as you want, don't pay attention to others. That's my rule of thumb, much easier to teach a teen than the acceptable style of garment or thickness of fabric for individual situations.

I do somewhat regret the afro perm I had at 14 though.

Morphene · 04/04/2017 13:01

It is absolutely the point of this thread. Should person A tell person B that they don't think their clothing choice is 'appropriate'. 'decent', 'attractive', 'modest', or that their clothing choice implies they have low self-esteem or low self-worth, or should they let person B make their own choices about what they consider to be appropriate?

reallyanotherone · 04/04/2017 13:01

I'm reading this thinking we're back in victorian england, where trousers on women were considered indecent because you could see "crotch and bum".

Back to floor length skirts and covering up piano legs...

Personally i hate the leggings as fashion trend, particularly the tunic top thing. But my child and i both do a lot of sports, and i see nothing wrong with lycra sports leggings and a close fitting top.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:02

From horrible comments from other girls/boys From others comparing themselves to her. Kidd can be bitchy. And do judge each other. Maybe shes worried about that.i dont know.

Sparrowlegs248 · 04/04/2017 13:02

As long as the leggings are decent quality (not see through primark ones) then I don't see a problems. It's what teens wear.

Morphene · 04/04/2017 13:03

Good grief miserable I was pointing out what you were doing to the Ops daughter, (shaming her, saying her clothing betrayed a lack of self-respect) by doing the same to you, so you would realise what it feels like.

I don't give a flying fuck what you wear. No one should. That is the whole point.

miserableandinpain · 04/04/2017 13:03

Exacrly morphine so why are you telling me i should be wearing a burkah...?

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