DD (14) wearing leggings and crop tops

[tactum]

DD is very sporty, likes to wear nice stuff but definitely never looks tarty or overdone. Her clothes of choice and comfort are black leggings and a top. If I was wearing leggings the top would definitely cover my whole (enormous) bum.

However she very often wears a short tshirt or crop top and isn't at all concerned that her crotch and bum are on view. She is very slim but obviously is now developing a woman's figure. She is definitely not trying to show off her bum, just doesn't see any issue with it.

I can't really work out if I should talk to her about it or if I should just think, lucky her to be able to get away with it! I'm slightly more bothered about the crotch than the bum I think.

AIBU?

I can't believe so many women are fine with teaching their daughters they should be dressing for appearances and not comfort!

"No daughter, dont put on that really comfy outfit 'cause it makes you look like shit, and not looking like shit is really, really important. Put this really uncomfortable outfit on as u look super in it. I know its not what you feel comfortable wearing but that doesn't matter as you're now not offending anyone's eyes who happens to be passing by. Ffs

wellthisisnice

Who knows what thread you are reading, and what your own issues are. No one has said that girls or boys should dress as uncomfortable as possible, there's a time and a place for everything. Dressing gowns or bikinis are not suitable street wear, neither are leggings (male or female). I am not sure why you think decent outfits have to be uncomfortable, maybe try to buy the right size?
Why would you ever want to encourage your children to look like shit?

You're wrong there increasingly. I was, and am, 'chubby'.

But I suspect my younger years would have been much less painful if I hadn't been made to feel that clothes were there as a futile attempt to hide me away or cover my shameful self.

I'd probably be able to leave the house now without wearing multiple layers, for example, or a coat to hide my stomach no matter how hot it is.

Well absinthe feel free to come and tell my 10.6 yr old she looks like shit as all she wears is leggings.. .

Or I could just carry on thinking that it's everyone else's problem.of they don't like it and she will wear what she is comfortable in given she has eczema and adjustable belts and jeans and seams rub and leggings are dead comfy

Both my DD's live in leggings-which doesn't bother me-what does bother me is when they want Nike/adidas/ivy park ones that cost upwards of twenty quid! For leggings!!

Galvanised by this thread, I have apparelled myself in a pair of (size 12, if anyone's interested) Next black leggings and am about to hit the streets.

I feel my crotch is looking particularly splendid today.

Lets hope I make it back to MN in one piece and these leggings don't drive otherwise sane men into a frenzy. 🤞

*I suppose its when they are tight /close fitting and in danger of 'camel toe?' Not a good look for anyone.^

Well leggings are always right and close fitting as that is how they are made. Whether it is a good look on somebody's opinion is not relevant as long as the wearer is happy with what they are wearing.
As for camel toe - teenage boys often wear jogging type pants and their tackle might be dangly and visible in them so should we stop teenage boys from wearing jogging bottoms too or is is just the female anatomy that people think needs an opinion?
Teenagers often dress in clothes that adults wouldn't be seen dead in but that is part and parcel of being a teenager.

verybutchy

verybutchy - please let us know how you get on, or if you let us know what area you're in we could watch out for you on local news!!

IMO slim teens are the ONLY ones who can get away with this look! They're all over he place here.
Do I feel that it's inappropriate? Of course not! They can dress how they like. ☺
Do I feel a slight more than slight pang of envy at the gloriousness of youth and their futures ahead of them, embodied in carefree dress that I could never have worn even at that age - oh yes.
Let them get on with it, I think it's great.

If you hear about a stampede on Edinburgh Princes St today, either progressing towards something or away from it ...

Well, what can I say? 😇

My 12 year old is very into leggings, crop tops, trainers and hoodies. It's fine with me. River island leggings are great and not see through. She wouldn't be leaving her room in see through ones. She also wears make up. Again, fine with me. But she wears it well , none of this orange foundation shit. The deal is she can wear it provided it doesn't look like a 6 year old has done it. Works for us.

verybutchy i hope you have the crop top on just for full effect

At 14 i was wearing ski pants and batwing jumpers o i probably looked a state with my bum on show meh who cares really

I have heard very unflattering comments about girls from the back of my car when I am chauffeuring the kids around.

Then your kids have horrible unwelcome thoughts on others - they are being judge and mean! Your job as a parent is to teach kindness and inclusiveness - not bitchy comments about other girls clothe so

Astro55

my job is not to parent other children. If these kids say unpleasant things in the back of my car, so with an adult, god knows what they say when they are on their own or on social media.
My own kids are fine, thanks.

posted too soon

But they are not allowed to socialise with girls wearing completely inappropriate clothes or make up. Inclusiveness goes only so far.

It's the fashion, if it's what she likes and is comfortable let her wear them.
Personally not my cup if tea this look IMO it looks chavvy...

Yanbu . I wouldn't allow my DD to

my job is not to parent other children. If these kids say unpleasant things in the back of my car

As the responsible adult in your car - yes you are - you pull them up every time - otherwise you are colliding with bullying

I agree with you op.

I dont agree with this way of dressing at all. Fashion or not. Mant will disagree with me but i dont care. People should teach their kids to dress appropriatley. Walking around in just leggings and a crop too is not appropriate in my opinion. Fine for the gym etc. But not everyday i hate it when you see people out in gym clothes.

And yes men are responsible for theor actions. But so are women. Teach your girls to respect themselves and not follow the 'fashion' to walk aroumd baring all.

holy fuck - body shaming is certainly alive and well.

OP body shaming your own daughter is a lesson she will remember all her life. If you can't believe she should be able to wear and look like whatever the hell she likes, then how can she possibly develop the self-esteem she will need to cope in this shitty world?

I dont think not wanting your daughter to parade around in nothing nuch is body shaming but teaching a bit if self respect.

miserable so glad to hear you don't care that your body shaming attitude contributes to teenage cosmetic surgery rates, eating disorder rates and suicide rates.

As long as there's no temptation to men, then fuck what happens to girls body image and self confidence.

So the only way to have body confidence is to walk around showing everything off.... right ok.

Well done to you for letting your kids walk around showing everything off so that they do compare themselves to each other more therefore contributing to eating disorders suidides and cosmetic surgery...