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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?

405 replies

GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:16

Since Christmas, I've been to four weddings. I'm that age where everyone I know is getting married!

I wore the same outfit to three of these weddings. Two of these same-outfit weddings were the same crowd of people- family. My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email "It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".

I replied to thank her for sending and said "I'm sorry if I offended you recycling my outfit, I'm cheap Wink". We have a good relationship, we're friends, I thought she'd take this in good humour. But no, she sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn't want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).

I did want to go to both weddings, it wasn't remotely meant as a 'fuck you' to the couple getting married. I told my mum about it and she agreed with my cousin that it was inappropriate.

So now I'm doubting myself and worried that I've made a massive faux pas and that everyone hates me?

So, was I being unreasonable to recycle the outfit? I should say that I did use a different bag/ accessories for both weddings but the basic outfit was the same.

OP posts:
pollymere · 05/04/2017 18:53

My dh has worn the same shoes to weddings for the past twenty years, and about two different suits in that time! Lol.

gribak · 05/04/2017 18:54

Seriously, tell your cousin you are not the Queen!! Its expensive buying wedding outfits and we are not all made of money!

Bobbi73 · 05/04/2017 18:56

Your cousin sounds as though she has a few issues she needs to work on. I have a 'wedding outfit' that I've worn to every wedding for the last 20 years and as far as I know, no-one has ever noticed let alone said anything. She's probably the only one who cares.
I have over the years seen some seriously inappropriate wedding outfits but I suspect that's a whole other thread...

nellieellie · 05/04/2017 18:56

I have one dress for weddings. For the past 20 years.

Winifred86 · 05/04/2017 18:57

Your cousin obviously has more money than sense. Even British royalty recycle outfits. I'm going to wear the same outfit for a christening this weekend and a wedding in October and the father of the baby and the groom are twins so lots of lap over.

fernanie · 05/04/2017 18:58

I've had basically one wedding outfit since 2014, because it makes me feel like a goddess. Occasionally I wear a different one but they can never compete with old faithful so I always end up going back to it.
Also, DM - what a load of tossers.

StrangeLookingParasite · 05/04/2017 19:25

What is it about weddings that causes a kind of bridal psychosis?!

She (the cousin) wasn't even the bride!

I think we should create a list of outfits that would definitely not be appropriate.
So far we have:
Wedding dress with or without veil
Other long white dresses
Gimp suit
Mr Blobby costume

I'd like to add towering perspex stripper-type heels, a thong and pasties.

ForAllTheCows · 05/04/2017 19:27

Do you think she may be a bit pissed that you were clever enough to wear the same outfit twice rather than waste money.....like she did? Perhaps someone complemented how fab you looked in your outfit and she didn't like it? I have two same side family weddings this year too. I will be wearing the same dress to both and not a single fuck will be given what anyone thinks- I'd rather spend the money i'd waste on the second outfit on my children or a food shop, instead of worrying about what the photos look like and what the family thinks. YANBU

Emeraude · 05/04/2017 19:35

Ridiculous! My cousin got married exactly 2 months before me and my Mum wore the same dress to both our weddings. Why would anyone be bothered?!

Badgoushk · 05/04/2017 19:38

When I got married I didn't care what my guests wore! I was just happy that they were spending the day with us.

Mrsmadevans · 05/04/2017 19:38

YADNBU but your dc is and so id your dm come to that!!

Beeziekn33ze · 05/04/2017 19:50

YADNBU but, sadly, you have a daft and bitchy cousin. Wear the outfit whenever you want to, especially to weddings!

hmbn · 05/04/2017 19:53

What a twit she is! Tell her that you're green and recycling everything these days...also will it matter in 1, or 2, or 3 years from now?

ilovesushi · 05/04/2017 20:03

Whhhhhhhaaaaaatttt!!!!????? She is crazy! I mean if the outfit was old gardening clothes or pyjamas maybe she'd have a point, but I am assuming it was something smart and weddingy or you wouldn't have worn it more than once. Your cousin and mum are RUDE to make this an issue.

beautiebyqueenie · 05/04/2017 20:07

Your cousin needs to get a grip. I wear the same thing to everything that doesn't require pjs!

Peggy13 · 05/04/2017 20:40

When I was first married I owned 2 dresses only in Winter I wore jumpers on top in Summer I washed them on alternate evenings. I wore one or the other to weddings, or any social event .A person did say once .....Ah such a pretty dress Peggy it really wears well !!! In fact they both were let out for pregnancy.

cloudspotter · 05/04/2017 21:31

Whoah. I wore the same dress to seven weddings, admittedly I accessorised differently for some. I was really skint in those years, and there were a lot of weddings. Taking offence at stuff like that is a sign of someone slightly deranged.

Deidre21 · 05/04/2017 21:31

Mental.

Bargainqueen · 05/04/2017 21:36

OMG, what is wrong with people?! You wear what you like, so what it you've worn it once, twice, or even for bloody work! If you like it, or haven't got the funds to be splashing out on 4 outfits, in fact- there doesn't need to be any reason you have to justify to anyone at all. It's your choice and I don't see how it would have any impact on the day, the bride/groom/wedding/anything! I'd tell your cousin she should know you better than to call you disrespectful, and I'd be actually offended that she had the cheek to even have an opinion! It's got nothing to do with being bothered! I know loads of people that have either thought about, or actually done this exact same thing. You are not alone and in this day and age its always encouraged... mostly.

Poppyscot87 · 05/04/2017 21:46

I'm sure the bride and groom would rather have you there in the same outfit than not at all... Plus the day is about the bride and groom not the guests so why your cousin has a prob, who knows!?

cherish123 · 05/04/2017 21:51

You are entitled to wear what you want. Actually, if you came completely underdressed - it would not matter. Your attendance is far more important than what you are wearing. Your mum is prob just old fashioned.

Jeanneweany · 05/04/2017 21:54

You should wear what you want. You attend a wedding to show respect and happiness. Tell them to get a life. You obviously have a life.

BunnyChickChocolateEgg · 05/04/2017 22:31

I think I'd reply to the cousin saying something like:
'I assume you're joking, but you're really being rude - please take a little time to reflect on your behaviour - I don't expect to be spoken to like that again'

My MIL turned up to our wedding in a very old skirt and top which I'd seen her wearing over several years, and it was very faded. She had many nicer, newer clothes, even if she didn't want to buy something especially. I noticed (clearly!), and wonder why she chose to do that, but it's not my problem, and not worth getting upset about. Your cousin is taking being offended to a whole new level!

JanKind · 05/04/2017 22:34

I think your cousin is a malicious, shit-stirrer. Tell her to bugger off with knobs on.

Supermam · 05/04/2017 22:51

Your cousin's been watching too much TV. Even royalty wear outfits more than once! She sounds jealous of you. Avoid her company.

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