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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?

405 replies

GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:16

Since Christmas, I've been to four weddings. I'm that age where everyone I know is getting married!

I wore the same outfit to three of these weddings. Two of these same-outfit weddings were the same crowd of people- family. My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email "It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".

I replied to thank her for sending and said "I'm sorry if I offended you recycling my outfit, I'm cheap Wink". We have a good relationship, we're friends, I thought she'd take this in good humour. But no, she sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn't want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).

I did want to go to both weddings, it wasn't remotely meant as a 'fuck you' to the couple getting married. I told my mum about it and she agreed with my cousin that it was inappropriate.

So now I'm doubting myself and worried that I've made a massive faux pas and that everyone hates me?

So, was I being unreasonable to recycle the outfit? I should say that I did use a different bag/ accessories for both weddings but the basic outfit was the same.

OP posts:
PinkFlamingo545 · 05/04/2017 17:56

am I unreasonable to turn up to a wedding with a carrot up my jacksy?

acatcalledjohn · 05/04/2017 17:57

I read the headline online today and thought: must look it up on MN later Grin

In fairness to the DM, they have to lift stories like this simply because they don't employ any credible journalists.

Your cousin is batshit by the way. Why have a wardrobe full of dresses you will only wear once? Perhaps tell her tomorrow that you are surprised to hear you've disrespected the happy couple by sharing their day with them. It's just awful.

I picture your cousin as the DM reader who reacts in anger when they read the 'report' on the travesty that is KM recycling an outfit...

Ineke · 05/04/2017 17:57

Wear it as often as you like, the bride is the centre of attention. No one cares what you are wearing except your cousin it seems. Don't let her dictate to you, just be happy that you look lovely in the dress you have chosen to wear. The only thing to worry about is that no one wears the same dress as you! Your cousin is being unreasonable and is not very environmentally aware it seems. Reuse reuse reuse.

TheScottishPlay · 05/04/2017 17:59

Send her a pic every day wearing the outfit, hoovering, walking the dog, school run etc. DH's family are like this, consumed by what people think, catty remarks about outfits etc. I can't fathom it.

Goingtobeawesome · 05/04/2017 18:01

Maybe it's frowned on if women do it and not noticed if men wear the same outfit because women's are more interesting, more noticeable ?

BTW, you're in the mail. Haven't read the whole thread so aware you may already know.

ahhhhhwoof · 05/04/2017 18:02

This is insane. I bought an expensive dress last year and it did FOUR weddings. What right does anyone have to tell you what to wear? Be outraged. YADNBU.

acatcalledjohn · 05/04/2017 18:03

This thread reminds me of this scene...

Rules
CheesyWeez · 05/04/2017 18:03

You could say one jumpsuit was dark blue, almost navy, and the other was a midnight blue, almost navy. And the one you wear to work is a sort of dark marine blue, almost navy.

On Thursday wear the navy one. :-D

mspeef · 05/04/2017 18:05

You use the word "outfit". Everyone is assuming it is a dress. We're you "inappropriately dressed" because you turned up to these weddings in a Mr Blobby suit? Just checking! ;-)

JDEE72 · 05/04/2017 18:08

Absolutely not. I'd wear it to everything else they have in future. Who are they to dictate to you?

Lovelymess · 05/04/2017 18:11

Of course it's acceptable!

EllenMP · 05/04/2017 18:11

Ridiculous. Accepting a wedding invitation does not oblige you to buy a new dress. Dresses are not disposable, single-use items. They are made to be worn over and over again. I am quite sure the bride and groom were just happy to see you there witnessing their special moment.

FamilySpartan · 05/04/2017 18:12

Scottish- what a brilliant idea! Grin

Lweji · 05/04/2017 18:18

I like the idea of wearing your own wedding dress, but for an occasion she hosts. Preferably her wedding.

dysongirl · 05/04/2017 18:19

Your cousin obviously has the problem,Hope she gets treatment for it!!
Would it be Jealousy by any chanceGrin

Goingtobeawesome · 05/04/2017 18:23

Surely she's a collator not a curator ?

user1468353179 · 05/04/2017 18:28

As long as it's not a big white frock with a matching veil it's fine.

Hotdrop1 · 05/04/2017 18:36

Your cousin's reaction is utterly ridiculous. Even Kate Middleton 'recycles' her outfits!!!! Please don't feel bad - your behaviour is completely normal IMO.

Katherine2626 · 05/04/2017 18:37

What a sad woman. Has she nothing better to do than criticise? It's the bride's day, and it seems she didn't mind, so your cousin needs to have a think about her priorities in life; what you wear is absolutely NONE of her business and she is rude and disrespectful to comment. Maybe you looked so lovely that she was jealous?

myshinynewusername · 05/04/2017 18:38

My mother would say that YABU for wearing a jumpsuit at all, because only a dress or a skirt suit are acceptable wedding wear for females, but to be fair my mother is completely batshit.

Any chance your cousin disapproves of the choice of a jumpsuit for wedding wear and is using the don't wear the same outfit twice argument to try and stop you wearing it for any more weddings?

Personally I think you should wear it for every single wedding from now on until it wears out. Grin

Daydream007 · 05/04/2017 18:41

She sounds weird. Of course it's fine and very sensible to wear the same outfit to more than 1 wedding even if it's the same crowd. Normal people wouldn't even bother to notice or mention it. Your cousin is out to cause trouble. Ignore her.

clc99 · 05/04/2017 18:47

WTAF?? Seriously don't give it another thought. You were there to celebrate her day, not to take part in a fashion show. When I got married i couldn't give a toss what other people wore as long as they were there. I think you are brilliant (and probably exhausted and completely skint!) for attending four weddings since Christmas. You sound like a lovely friend/relative. Your cousin is rude, disrespectful and off this planet.

angelfacecuti75 · 05/04/2017 18:50

Why did she think she has the right to tell you what to wear?! I've had no money before and my friends have known this and I've recycled the same dress for about four different occasions. Things have improved but weddings cost loads . You spend out on getting there , accomodation and a present. To spend out on a new outfit for every occasion would be frivolous.

pollymere · 05/04/2017 18:52

My brother who's six years older than me got engaged three months after me and our weddings were two months apart. My Mum announced she wasn't going to splash out on two outfits. She wore a beautiful dress and matching jacket to both weddings, at the same church...and no one said anything!! She was being practical and spent a little more on one lovely outfit than having to pay out for two. I've never heard of anything so ridiculous. When I was at the age of masses of wedding invites, I didn't think I needed a different outfit for each one, I just wore something decent from my regular wardrobe. At least you didn't wear white, like my SIL did at mine (my MILs fault).

KentMum2008 · 05/04/2017 18:53

DP and I are getting married in June, quiet little registry office affair and I'm wearing a dress from John Lewis, not a wedding dress but a pale pink floral number. I have every intention of wearing it at any available opportunity after then, even my cousins wedding in August, because it's a beautiful dress, fits me like a glove and makes me look, quite frankly, like a golden goddess (it does, I swear).
If you find a dress you love, and suits you, wear the hell out of it. My sister is wearing a dress she bought for her friends wedding to mine, and I couldn't care less. I would be horrified if a friend or relative said anything to her about recycling an outfit.
YANBU OP, your cousin is dotty and totally out of order.

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