to think I did nothing wrong?

[strawberrygate]

At a playgroup this morning. Came to snack time and little ones are sat down 5 to a table. I have my toddler's food in front of him; little girl next to him has a plate of food.
Little girl reaches over and takes a strawberry off my lo's plate.
I gently take it off her, saying that's not yours sweetheart, this is your plate here.
The grandma then comes over saying did the nasty lady snatch your strawberry, I'll get you another one and disappears before I have chance to react.
! minute later she appears with strawberry and gives it to the little girl saying " obviously too much trouble for her to get you one".
I asked if it was directed at me and she says " you heard, you snatched her strawberry"
I told her it was on my lo's plate etc. and she said I'm not setting a good example by taking it back and the least I could have done was fetch her another one.
So far, so entitled if not a little mad. She then leant in my face and said " you snatch food off her plate again and I'll break your fucking legs".
I told her to calm down, asked what her problem was and then gathered children and left.
I must admit I burst into tears in the car.
Was I wrong to take the frigging strawberry off her? Should I have got her another? Gut instinct is no as lots of people have strawberry allergy and anyway, toddlers need reminding not to take off others' plates

Agree with pp the nan is a nut.
But saying that I wouldn't have taken the strawberry of a toddler. Would have gotten my child another & mentioned to toddlers guardian they had a strawberry

I'd have been relieved that you took a strawberry away from my very allergic DS. Strawberries ain't great for everyone, people!

she is seriously unhinged, has the playgroup leader come back to you? do not let her stop you going to future playgroups, as others have said this will not be the first time she has behaved so badly

Perhaps this is how that child gets fed - taking food off other people's plates! Judging by the comment from the grandmother they don't sound exactly socially responsible. Poor little kid stuck with a gran like that. What kind of example is being set?

Wow...nans have changed these days! Breaking legs and all sorts. She sounds delightful!!

Not quite sure how I'd have reacted to that but you should definitely report her to the group.

YANBU and not very charming language used by her around children either . Would avoid the place like the plague if it attracts people like that !

Something similar happened to me, lady threatened to punch me, so I got the other toddler's plate (heavy plastic one) and broke it in front of her with my bare hands and told her to try. The lady paled and tried to scamper off so I started yelling about what a wimp she was, only threatening to punch me when she thought I was the polite Asian stereotype. It got me banned from the group but it was so, so worth it.

Report her to woman in charge - ask staff keep an eye on her interactions with you - keep mobile on record.
Never mind she appears popular - she might just be loud and well known , not popular. If she has threatened you it's likely she has history of it to others. Head up, chin out, look brave.

If she's behaved that way towards you I'm sure you aren't alone and others will have had similar experience. Go, head held high and avoid rude GM.

I work in a playgroup. You 100% did the right thing and if it had happened at my playgroup I would have taken the Strawberry off the little girls plate for you...nicely, just like you did. We don't take food off other people's plates.

Someone upthread mentioned sharing. It might surprise some people including psycho gran that the EYFS asks children to learn that "some things are mine, some things are shared and some things belong to other people." A personal favourite of mine.

Have a chat with the playgroup leader as well. I would be less than impressed if I knew a carer had threatened another in my setting...and in front of the Children? Oh No!

That's awful!

And also for those who don't like other toddlers hands on things, how can you even be at play groups? all the toys shared, toys in mouths etc

How are you today? Did you see nasty granny? Yes toddlers do take things that are not theirs, they are only little, but they have to learn sometime, better, now, than trying to teach a 5 year old to share when they go to school.

How did it go OP?[cake

Granny was way out of line. You should go back, ask playleader about general type of behaviour children exhibit as given you werr threatened by adult worried some may have aggresdive tendencies.Explain to playleader you are there though worried about kind of behaviour that other children may be exhibiting given you were issued with violent threat by adult at group. See what they say, will be interesting!

Wow. Over a strawberry! What a horrible horrible women to say that to you!

I hope it was better today

Hope it went well

Hoping OP hasn't had her actual fingers broken by Jean Claude van Gran and can't actually type an update.

Use your face OP. Let us know what happened. It's MN. It's practically the law!

Jean Claude van Gran

Arf

It's a brilliant appellation, isn't it Fairfax?

I wish I'd thought of it.

I'm just amazed that they are giving kids strawberries in April. They are so expensive, so many food miles and to be honest they aren't a patch on British strawberries in a couple of months time.

I wouldn't have taken the strawberry off the child but threats are way out of order.

Oh crikey, you poor thing! I too have had similar experiences, to the point we moved house to fall into another catchment. This was because of ganging up and anger that social services and the Preschool Learning Alliance agreed with me. As a result the preschool was closed down for a day, and the reason why was heavily distorted as to why by a small clan of people who didn't understand public liability insurance. They made my life hell and I now wish I'd taken my son out of that preschool immediately, as I sensed he was being discriminated against as he went from being a happy little boy to sad. I really kick myself over the later point...
In this instance, I would have told her exactly what happened, post her threatening to break both of your legs. I would report it to the Preschool Manager asap, but I'd also mention to them that next time you will report her to the police for threatening behaviour. It would make the Preschool far more vigilant with this gran, not just with you, but with others. Sometimes too, I've found, the mouse sometimes has to roar like a lion and really mean it. She's bullying you, after all. I'd be very serious about the police too. I'd be almost tempted to have my phone on record whenever that evil gran is within talking distance of you too.
One thing I am glad of, is that we moved. We had the last laugh in terms of house prices vs. the gossip in the playground. I was told we'd never get the asking price in a million years. We didn't. We actually got ten grand more!
Oh, and I became a teacher, doing my degree and PGCE in the intervening years. I ended up teaching their little darlings at secondary school.
Revenge is a dish best served cold as they couldn't do a thing about it! 😂😉