to think I did nothing wrong?

[strawberrygate]

At a playgroup this morning. Came to snack time and little ones are sat down 5 to a table. I have my toddler's food in front of him; little girl next to him has a plate of food.
Little girl reaches over and takes a strawberry off my lo's plate.
I gently take it off her, saying that's not yours sweetheart, this is your plate here.
The grandma then comes over saying did the nasty lady snatch your strawberry, I'll get you another one and disappears before I have chance to react.
! minute later she appears with strawberry and gives it to the little girl saying " obviously too much trouble for her to get you one".
I asked if it was directed at me and she says " you heard, you snatched her strawberry"
I told her it was on my lo's plate etc. and she said I'm not setting a good example by taking it back and the least I could have done was fetch her another one.
So far, so entitled if not a little mad. She then leant in my face and said " you snatch food off her plate again and I'll break your fucking legs".
I told her to calm down, asked what her problem was and then gathered children and left.
I must admit I burst into tears in the car.
Was I wrong to take the frigging strawberry off her? Should I have got her another? Gut instinct is no as lots of people have strawberry allergy and anyway, toddlers need reminding not to take off others' plates

full on ass kicking jean claude van gran style

Vixen

I grew up in a smallish village (2000 people then, about twice that now) where everybody knew each other and we always, always knew who was nasty behind a friendly and popular veneer, even if they were never confronted. I bet there are lots of people in the village who will be secretly on your side and sympathetic, because this won't be her first nasty incident.

You are too nice OP. Don't let some nutty granny bully you. If it were me I'd probably say try it then and I'll call the police.

You did the right thing. Some people just can't accept their child (or grandchild) ever does anything wrong even when they do. I'd complain to the playgroup leader. Some people would call the police as it was a threat to do physical damage to you. I wouldn't like to go to a group with this type of person.

Mental grandma. You should not have taken it from girl's plate but equally grandma should just have left it.

Wow she's crazy. If he only had 1 I would of took it back too. Anyou of my kids would of shouted if anyone gets too close to their food. But crazy grandma wouldn't get away with that. I'd at least call the police and try get her banned from playgroup. Nutcase shouldn't be around children

I would speak to whoever is in charge. Crazy Grandparent isn't setting a good example & I wouldn't want someone that unhinged near my child!! That behaviour shouldn't be tolerated nor should she be allowed back!

That woman was bloody awful and rough threatening to break your legs!

Agree with Jonesy The grandmother sounds completely unhinged!! I personally would not have taken the strawberry back off the child mainly because I wouldn't have wanted my child to put food in their mouth another child hand just had their mitts all over!!

look at it another way, if the child was allergic to the strawberry you would have been blamed for her having an attack. if the child choked on the strawberry you would have been to blame. the woman was a mean spiteful woman and should not be in a playgroup, the child is rude and should not take food off other peoples plates. you handled it in the right way and should be proud that you didn't sink to her disgusting level. just breathe and pray for karma lol

Id have said to her 'your little girl just took a strawberry off my lo's plate - is she ok eating them?' Then if she hadn't told the kid it was wrong or offered to get another I'd have thought what a scummy git family judgity judge. She obvs only saw the latter part when you took the strawberry back and it a total chavhag

I'm glad you're starting to feel angry now instead of upset - grandma sounds rough as, and I sincerely doubt that you are the first to be on the receiving end of some aggressive crap from someone like her. The fact that the playgroup organiser has followed this up as she has indicates to me that she too thinks grandma is a nasty piece of work who they'd prefer slung their hook.

Go to the playgroup (when it restarts!) and hold your head up. She's the one who shouldn't even be allowed back at the playgroup.

what happened to sharing? It was only an effing strawberry.

Eh up, Granny has arrived...

Get angry, not upset. She's clearly a nasty bitch. If she makes any other verbal threats, please do call the police.

I don't think I would have taken it back from the toddler but absolutely no way was Gangster Granny's reaction reasonable. Definitely 'not cool' as my Go Jetters mad children say. I would have fronted it out and stayed but also snitched her up to playgroup person, as you did. Go back next week. Don't let her see you off and don't let her think she has either. Big girl pants and stiff upper lip.

If its a small village I would definitely go again and front it out with her - ring the playgroup leader and talk it through first, so you can make sure she knows what happened. A call would be better than a text so you can make sure its understood and answer any comebacks she may have. Maybe ask if the (crazy) granny is ok as it was such an odd outburst, or ask if she has done that before?

Good luck!

xxx

Funnily enough, my youngest gets hives with strawberries, its hard keeping an eye on what she eats, she is learning, but you did the right thing, bloody grandma is mental!!!

Plus... if you keep going you can make friends with all the other Mums and they will probably know her form, will stick up for you and you can all bond over it.

OMG what a nasty witch! I admit OP I would've just let her have the strawberry ...Toddlers don't understand and I wouldn't have seen the harm as it's hardly malicious .... Bu actually in your post you mentions allergies so maybe I would be wrong to not stop a child taking food....
Either way. Op. You need to report that granny to the playgroup. Did being newcomers to the area ! People shouldn't make threats and then get away with it .

no i think its good to take it back.or perhaps if not take it explain."isten sweetie if we want something we must ask th person who it belongs to.never just take things off other." then you still could have got her another or not.this is how kids leanr.how do we no she not been taught to take things.they are little new human.they are being taught etiquette of life by us.they aren't born with manner or knowing whats there and not.we teach them.
but you weren't in the wrong and I'm so sorry your upset.dont think about it ok.please its ok you did your right thing and she reacted horribly,in any situation this would be the wrong way for her to be.
go cuddle your little one and smilexx

I would have taken it if it was something wrapped but not the strawberry because I'm a bit of a germophobe.
The grandma was nuts by the way.

well, it's that playgroup tomorrow ( playgroup where psychogran also sometimes goes was cancelled today ).
Would it be wrong to take a few punnets of strawberries and sweetly offer them all round?

OMG

That's terrible. You poor thing. I would have been very upset too.

Please don't second guess yourself about the strawberry. There are several different ways of dealing with this sort of thing, but the point is, this was not worth her aggression, let alone a threat

I'd report her to the playgroup leader and ask that they consider banning her.