to think I did nothing wrong?

[strawberrygate]

At a playgroup this morning. Came to snack time and little ones are sat down 5 to a table. I have my toddler's food in front of him; little girl next to him has a plate of food.
Little girl reaches over and takes a strawberry off my lo's plate.
I gently take it off her, saying that's not yours sweetheart, this is your plate here.
The grandma then comes over saying did the nasty lady snatch your strawberry, I'll get you another one and disappears before I have chance to react.
! minute later she appears with strawberry and gives it to the little girl saying " obviously too much trouble for her to get you one".
I asked if it was directed at me and she says " you heard, you snatched her strawberry"
I told her it was on my lo's plate etc. and she said I'm not setting a good example by taking it back and the least I could have done was fetch her another one.
So far, so entitled if not a little mad. She then leant in my face and said " you snatch food off her plate again and I'll break your fucking legs".
I told her to calm down, asked what her problem was and then gathered children and left.
I must admit I burst into tears in the car.
Was I wrong to take the frigging strawberry off her? Should I have got her another? Gut instinct is no as lots of people have strawberry allergy and anyway, toddlers need reminding not to take off others' plates

YANBU
Hope you're ok OP
You must report this woman to the play group organisers, that woman needs talking to about acceptable behaviour. What an aggressive response-totally out of order.

I'd have let the kid have the strawberry to be honest because it's not worth an argument at playgroup. I do, however, teach my children not to snatch food off other people's plates. Sadly not everyone does that.

Ring up the playgroup and tell them what happened. I hate that people like the granny get to dictate where you get to go simply because they are thugs.

Fucking hell.

Please try and get in touch with the playgroup leader and explain what happened. You don't have to explain yourself for taking the strawberry off the little girl, it was not an unreasonable thing to do, especially due to allergies etc.

What this woman did was fucked up. Who the fuck would want her around their children??

I bet that poor dc doesn't have a naughty step - likely a full on Miss Trunchbull chokey!
Go back next week and just keep out of her way. If she kicks off it will be her that's asked to leave. .

Oh my god! She said what?!!!

Please report this properly when you are in a better frame of mind! Threatening to break legs over a strawberry? Holy hell!

What an example around children. Wouldn't want to be anywhere near her again. What a nutcase. I thought grannies were sweet and kind

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a bit better about it now. I just know that my name will be mud forever because she knows everyone. I'm sure she won't recount the break your fucking legs bit so won't come across as unhinged. The place was very very noisy ( about 30 kids in the room) and she leant right into me and said it, so I doubt anyone else heard. They were all busy getting their own children sorted out as well.

Is actually tell the person who runs/organises the playgroup that she is an aggressive psycho.

You poor thing! People being aggressive and threatening is horrible, but to have it happen in a setting like that?! What is wrong with that woman!

The same people tend to go to the 4 playgroups that are on Monday to Friday in different place so unless I plan on never leaving the house again, I'm going to have to face her ( probably tomorrow).
I'm hoping that if I completely ignore her she may not say anything.
I'm now thinking I was a complete wuss for crying so much ( though to be fair I'm not used to being physically threatened at toddler groups)

I think you should talk to playgroup leader. Explain what happened, that a little girl took food from your DC, you didn't know if the girl had allergies so you took it back and handed it to DC at which point the LG carer, came over and threatened you with violence.

You need to speak to the organiser now you are a bit calmer. You should be able to attend a sodding playgroup without risk of physical threats and that needs to be reiterated to all attendees.

At the informal groups I attended, parents were asked to sign a sheet on entry, partly as a register for numbers but also at the top was a short paragraph setting out behaviour expectations. No one could claim not to have seen it.

you were shocked that's why you cried. Go back tomorrow and face her otherwise she'll think she's won. You are better than that evil, sad witch!

She sounds rough. You didn't do anything wrong but there is a certain category of people in the world who believe they are 'entitled', Sadly the number is growing :(

I'd report her to the person running the group tbh. She can't go around verbally threatening to assault people!

I wouldn't of taken the strawberry back , mainly because another child had touched it but she was very rude.

I'd be surprised if other people don't know what she's like. Hold your head up high and attend as usual. You did nothing wrong.

I would have wanted to remove the strawberry too - very bad manners to remove food from another child's plate! But probably I would have let it go with a, "Oh, that wasn't very polite, was it?"

But the woman sounds insane!

She's an utter psycho. Please put a complaint in writing about her!

I would have bawled too, out of shock and fear!

That sounds awful, I would have reacted the same as you.

If she is that quick to threaten you like that, shes probably done similar things before. Do go back, and I bet if you people watch a bit, you will see her giving daggers to others - these will believe what you say as I bet they have been on the receiving end as well!

Of course you did nothing wrong, but you really should have drawn the playgroup leader's attention to the madwoman's aggression.
Anyone carrying on like that at a playgroup full of toddlers should be told to take her custom elsewhere.

I'd be amazed if someone prepared to threaten you with serious violence, in public, in front of children, hasn't done this before and isn't known for doing this before.

Definitely tell the organisers... You did nothing wrong

She sounds totally unhinged. I mean she clearly seemed to understand that the strawberry wasn't on her GC's plate because of the 'obviously too much trouble for her to get you one' comment.

You need to report the behaviour. It's not acceptable for adults to threaten each other physically at any time but particularly not over a strawberry at a playgroup.

get on the phone to the organisers NOW and tell them about the threat.

how dare she!

shes a joke and exactly what the police are there for.

Tell the people in charge.

I've been involved as a leader of play settings and I would definitely want to know if a carer was making such aggressive threats against anyone - especially if it meant people were staying away from a service! As others have said you won't be the first person this has happened to.

PS and just to add - of course you did nothing wrong by taking the strawberry back. It's not what everyone would have done (although I probably would have done) but it absolutely wasn't the 'wrong' thing to do.