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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think sleeping with more people than my age is ok?

127 replies

Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:20

I put a thread up on here this morning about my new partner asking about my past relationships.

Anyway tonight I told him it was 'more than my age' and he actually replied with 'wow that's a lot'

Now I'm annoyed for saying anything but is it really a lot? I thought it was quite common for people's 'number' to be more than their age? Or am I wrong?

OP posts:
AtSea1979 · 03/04/2017 00:23

I've never heard of that before. Maybe your DP thought it was a lot. Surely it's personal context. But if he meant it in a negative way then dump him.

DonaldStott · 03/04/2017 00:23

I contributed to your thread to say he was a nosey bastard.

Again I will say, get rid.

Wtf has it got to.do with him? Will he change his opinion of ypu?

Does he have a magic number to see if you are a fuck or a keeper?

He is a prick!

Birdsgottaf1y · 03/04/2017 00:24

There isn't a normal.

You could go on a holiday to Kavos and have sex with more people than your age, in a week.

You need to decide if you're compatible. He sounds judgmental and opinionated.

DonaldStott · 03/04/2017 00:24

you

DedicationToSparkleMotion · 03/04/2017 00:24

I think that's a lot, but that doesn't mean anything. It's not necessarily bad to have a lot.

I think I read somewhere the average is like 7-10 range? Might be making that up.

Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:25

Donald - thanks there were a lot of replies but I read them all. And don't worry after tonight my number will definitely be going up by one more!

OP posts:
Bloomed · 03/04/2017 00:26

You could have twice your age and there'd be no rational reason to judge you. He sounds like bad news.

Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:26

Birds - he is gone don't worry! x

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:27

Dedication - 7-10 in total? Confused

OP posts:
Birdsgottaf1y · 03/04/2017 00:27

Good, you don't that shit.

Now go and be happily single Wink

Meekonsandwich · 03/04/2017 00:27

Sleeping with any number of people is Okay!

You will never truly know how many people is average because people lie because they're embarrassed or think they'll be judged.

Nobody can say what's normal or acceptable at all. There is no norm! You stayed abstinent until marriage and only married them? Great! That's pretty normal :)

You went out and met lots of people and decided to have sex with them and now you've slept with 100 people? Great! Sounds normal to me!

Just because maybe compared to his number it's a lot, doesn't mean it's actually a lot. 3 is a lot to a virgin.

Don't sweat it.

DonaldStott · 03/04/2017 00:27

God help you of you're a woman and you enjoy sex with people you fancy.

Who cares?

Anyone who judges people on the number of people you have had a bonk with, are narrow minded and immature. IMHO of course.

Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:28

Birds - lol yeah Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:29

Donald - your opinion sounds ok to me lol x

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:30

Meekon - thanks. He had me doubting things but sounds like I'm not being unreasonable here x

OP posts:
LouisevilleLlama · 03/04/2017 00:32

I always find it interesting, personally I am nosey so I would ask, but on the flip side I know I've got an abnormally small number, but with that I'm also aware that probably 98% of people will have a higher number so i don't see a reason to judge. But if you ask someone and then judge that's not right

DedicationToSparkleMotion · 03/04/2017 00:33

NameChange just googled and indeed, between ages of 30 and 45 average is in that range, total. As I said though, that's not a bad thing. Maybe you've had some bad luck with men, maybe you fall in love easily, maybe you just bloody love sex!

Long as you're safe about it and aren't using it to mask emotional problems there's really nothing to comment on.

Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:33

Louise - nothing wrong with being nosey but I didn't like the way he asked and then how he reacted. And nothing wrong with a small number either Smile x

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange2417 · 03/04/2017 00:35

Dedication- wow ok that's way lower than I thought it would be! Are lots of people lying in surveys? Lol x

OP posts:
KitKats28 · 03/04/2017 00:49

I don't understand why people ask questions like this if they aren't going to like the answer.

Singlelady · 03/04/2017 00:53

Hi OP
I contributed to your original thread. It's one thing to ask out of interest another to pass judgement. As I said before doesn't matter if your number is 5 or 50 as long as everyone consented, was sensible and had fun what does it matter. Glad to hear you got rid! And if it makes you feel better my number isn't more than my age but it isn't far off. Grin

Finola1step · 03/04/2017 00:54

I have never understood why people ask this question. It is perfectly ok to ask about sexual history in terms of safe sex. But why the number? So YANBU. The number of sexual.partners anyone has had in the past is no one else's business.

viques · 03/04/2017 00:54

Tell him he needn't worry - he almost made it into the Top Ten list.

KC225 · 03/04/2017 00:54

So OP does he know he is 'gone' and why or will you ghost him?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 03/04/2017 00:55

It certainly is slut shaming isn't it?

Double standards too.

Horrific question.