To ask someone to sit at a table while I'm in a queue?

[DedicationToSparkleMotion]

I had no idea this is apparently rude?

Today while in a cafe queue I said to DH "go and get a seat while I pay". He looked horrified said I was effectively "pushing in front" of those queueing in front of us and we shouldn't sit until we had ordered and paid.

I don't really agree and think everyone does this if they are in a group (after all if a family of five go in are they all going to stand in a queue together? What if everyone did this, the queue area would be overrun?!) and it's neither polite nor impolite, but he was insistent.

Who was BU?

It's not a free table! If they'd ordered and it turned out there were no tables at all and I'd not yet ordered I'd give them the table (assuming we couldn't share it). If they went and sat at the table with my stuff while there were other empty tables I wouldn't make a massive fuss (though I imagine the bit where I retrieved my stuff would be awkward!) but I'd think they'd behaved oddly and rudely.
If ive queued, ordered and paid and theres a table with no order etc then its free.

Obviously, if there are other free tables then much as the 'reserving' thing bugs me i wouldnt be awkward because as you say that would be odd.

But if theres no other spaces then im very much of the view that people who have waited in line and have an order tale priority iver those further back in the queue. Thats how a queue works.

If the cafe is almost empty then reserve away. I dont care. But i find it hugely annoying whem its busy.

Don't see what's wrong with it at all.

Totally rude and queue jumping to sit before your food is ready.
If I'm on my own with 3 children I am left in an impossible situation of trying to juggle kids, 3 meals and a buggy with nowhere to sit because all the empty tables I saw whilst queuing have been filled by people whose food is not yet ready.

In this situation I would return to head of queue and ask the staff if they could help me find a table, helpfully pointing out "oh this person hasn't got any food yet - shall we have this one?"

You're not being rude, OP. One person goes up to order, the other(s), if anybody, adult or child, sits down. I've never seen groups queuing together, personally.
If you're on your own you can either take your chances or leave a coat on a chair. If it's too busy and it looks like you're not going to get a seat then you go elsewhere.

This is a particular problem in M&S cafes. There's a queue that moves at Geological speed and every table is taken by a solitary man, in his 60s, wearing a green V-neck jumper. This means that, if I fancy a coffee when I'm alone or with DS2, who I can't leave by himself, then it can't be there because all the tables are already full of people with no food or drink.

If people didn't save tables, then there would actually be enough for everyone who has already bought food, FFS!

I usually go to Pret. Much easier, much cheaper and free of the green jumper brigade. There's a culture in there of not being possessive about a whole table for 4, too. In fact, the one I use the most has a massive communal table for 12, which is fabulous when it's busy.

I always do this when not alone

If I'm out with whole family then all 8 of us standing in the queue is ridiculous!

The queue is to order not to get a table. You get the table first!

I've been the person on their own and had to wait but I usually sit with someone else if there's no free tables.

Obviously if the place is half empty you don't need to but I still would. And if the queue was 10-15 sodding minutes I wouldn't bother anyway!

Is this a regional thing because round here it's just what people do.

"You wouldnt send a mate to queue in a shop and then turn up when theure paying and 'just put your stuff through'. You dont let kids hold places in lines at theme parks and then let all 8 pile in when their mate is near the front. Its not how a queue works."

This is totally different, though. In a cafe if you get your food and there is no table left then you can't eat your food. If you had known that would be the case then you probably won't bother queuing for food in the first place and will choose to try somewhere else. Hence the sense behind putting your coat on chair to reserve the table so you know that you CAN eat the food that you've have forked out for. It doesn't make sense to me at all to join a queue for something that you don't have a certain outcome for. It becomes just a gamble, then.

In a shop when you're queuing to pay for clothes, you're still going to get your outcome, even if a couple of people let their mates in in front of you. It's a known outcome and either thing works. Person in front of you doesn't let mate in and they go behind you - you get your clothes. Person in front of you lets a mate in - you might have to wait 2 mins longer but you still get your clothes. You join that queue knowing you will definitely get your clothes whatever happens!

In the case of a cafe, you need to know base your decision on whether to join the food queue on the likelihood of having somewhere to sit and eat it. If the place is heaving and there are no free or minimal tables then it's pretty pointless even starting to queue.

I suppose it is rude, but then pretty much all the British population is rude on this one! The busier the place, the more likely people are to dive at tables. Saving them before they even get their food and drinks, making the scarcity of tables even worse.

I think it's a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" situation. You'd be the only polite people and you would never get a table.

What is the Green Jumper Brigade, Pickachew?

Plenty of these sorts of places have signs up saying 'please find a table before ordering'.
I've never thought that was bu. Why on earth would you take the whole group up to queue?

Of course - now I'm talking about places you order and the food comes out 15mins later. So crossed wires in part here - if we are talking Costa type place where you get food and drink immediately I never bag a seat first. I simply don't bother queuing and go elsewhere if it's rammed.

Basically anywhere that has table numbers or gives out numbers for your food order is fair game as you need the table first.

I used to queue and then get a table, but I got stung a couple of times with nowhere to sit once I had my food.
I now get a table first.
I don't care if it's rude.

If everyone gets their food first before taking a table, the café only needs to provide enough tables for people who actually have food, while they're eating it. If everyone bags a table before queueing up for food then they need to have tables for everyone eating AND everyone in the queue. Ithe is common sense that this increases the likelihood of a shortage of tables if the place is busy!

Obviously this consideration only applies in self-service cafeteria-type places, like John Lewis "The Place to Eat" or Asda café. It's a particular issue in John Lewis as the live cooking stations mean people can take some time to get food. Some previous posters have talked about places where you're asked for your table number when you order, and the prepared food is brought to your table when ready. This isn't what the OP is talking about at all - it's more like the style of service in a pub than a self-service café.

YABU. I recently queued on my own with DC and then couldn't sit down and feed her because of table-hoggers. I ask these people to move and expect them to do so, frankly.

It's turquoise, this year, reuset
www.marksandspencer.com/pure-merino-wool-tailored-fit-jumper/p/p22489347?image=SD_03_T30_3535M_F0_X_EC_90&color=NAVY&prevPage=plp&pdpredirect

And possibly a regional thing. Couples in their 60s - she has a lot to say for herself, he agrees with her for a quiet life and probably actually enjoys the 10 minutes peace and quiet thumbing through the Daily Telegraph, or Express, while she buys a chicken sandwich with no mayo, 2 scones and 2 pots of tea. These couples often meet up in the foodhall and arrange their respective trolleys in some sort of pre-determined aisle blocking formation, usually right in front of the bacon, while they talk about the holidays they've booked and the kitchen blinds.

Our local m and s has a great system during busy times, in that you queue outside the cafe, when a table becomes available a member of staff lets you go in then you go order your food and drinks.

Problem is that if you don't do it, others behind you will, so you've not a lot of choice. A bit like the sun beds situation when you're abroad. You don't necessarily think it's okay to go down to the pool at 6 in the morning to put your towels on loungers, but end up doing it anyway because everyone else is.

Get food and then sit down. Anything else is rude

It's turquoise, this year, reuset

Is that so

Much easier, much cheaper and free of the green jumper brigade. There's a culture in there of not being possessive about a whole table for 4, too. In fact, the one I use the most has a massive communal table for 12, which is fabulous when it's busy.
You sound like me
Yes, M&S is one of the worst places for table grabbers (and slowneater and lets sit an chat for 30 mins over the 1cm of tea we both have left but will eek out).
Pret is much better.
And i also like places with bigger tables. There used to be a local mini chain like that with big tables, sit wherever and tje culture was you budged up and let other people sit. Worked well.

1. Everyone queued up
2. Got order and were given a food number
3. Got a seat at a table and nobody could get away with hogging a massive table for 6 when theres only 2 of them because their shopping bags each require a seat.

When people did hog tables people with food would just perch in/on the end etc. You knoe, the service there was quicker, there was almost always enough space for everyone and it was a brilliant set up. The worst you had was the odd uninstudent nursinh a single drink for ages but if it was busy staff would ask them to orser again or go elsewhere (most students wouldnt do that if its busy though).

I was in a food court once, loads of cafes and fast food restaurants. There were no tables available. I came across a bloke hogging an empty table. He said 'my girlfriend is just getting food' so I said 'well I have food now' and sat down.

He was fuming.

If I'm on my own with my DC I don't go anywhere without a guaranteed table. As simple as that. Why stress yourself out? There are plenty of places to eat that isn't a car park on two legs.

Would you tell those who finished their coffee an hour ago to stop hogging the tables in costa? They are way worse than those who get their tables before ordering.

I'm a foot in each camp with this one. If I have the children with me I tend to plonk all the paraphernalia before ordering but if I'm alone then I'll run the gauntlet -foist myself on any table with an empty seat-
Not that it would be an enticing prospect (6 year old and 2.5 & me) but I wouldn't care if someone joined us as we are only using 3 out of 4 seats anyway.
I saw a super exchange in our m&s cafe about 6 months ago. Member of staff saw someone with food but no table looking lost and went upto to someone with a reserved table but no food & made them move. Utter brilliance.