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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh hell. Sent text to wrong person.

233 replies

CadburyMellos · 02/04/2017 08:24

On my phone, when you send a text and then go back to the home page/do something else then go back into texts, it stays on the message conversation of the last person you messaged. I don't text many people and 99% of the time it's on my husbands message convo.

I've got my driving test tomorrow morning and my instructor has just text me to say he isn't very well and likely to have to postpone my test which could be another 8 weeks away now. Not instructors fault but I'm angry/upset as I'm going to have to pay again, too late to cancel now.

Anyway, I've text my husband (at work) and told him. I called instructor a few names as not been happy with him for few weeks but didn't want change instructor with being so close to test. Except I sent the text to my instructor and not my husband. Bollocks.

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 02/04/2017 08:27

Oh shit. How bad is it?

PhoenixJasmine · 02/04/2017 08:27

Own it - sounds like you were being truthful about your feelings rather than just nasty about your instructor? Send another message apologising that the text wasn't meant for them and for any hurt caused, however you do have concerns and would they please contact you at their earliest convenience to discuss.

Saucery · 02/04/2017 08:28

Eeek. I would follow it up with another text to your Instructor explaining the mistake, saying you are annoyed and frustrated and venting to your DH and that you apologise for the text sent in error.

Babbaganush · 02/04/2017 08:29

Why should you have to cover the cost of missing the test when it is because of the instructor, you shouldn't be out of pocket.
Has he replied?

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 02/04/2017 08:29

That's a bit akward.. has he replied?

FunkinEll · 02/04/2017 08:30

Uh oh. Hopefully you'll pass your tests and we have to see him again.

My driving instructor's car broke down the day before my test so my MIL insured me on hers and bought L plates. It was my 3rd test and I passed despite not being in the instructor's car. Could you do something similar for your test?

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 02/04/2017 08:31

And agree with Babba. DP is a driving instructor and he has refunded people for missed tests when it's been down to him (family bereavement so not illness)

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 02/04/2017 08:31

Why does he have to go? You use his car but for ffs with NO notice he should have to cover the costs
Ok maybe he's seriously ill but even so, re booking a test and paying again should be covered by him imho

Scholes34 · 02/04/2017 08:32

Send note to apologise and say it's a knee jerk reaction to your disappointment. Send a text to yourself to remind you never to put anything in writing (ie text, in e-mail or on social media) that you'd not like to have repeated back to you.

pinkmagic1 · 02/04/2017 08:33

Was also going to say that you can take a test in most cars that you are insured on, doesn't have to be your driving instructors car.

Cakescakescakes · 02/04/2017 08:36

I agree. You need to own this straight away. I've done something similar. Text and apologise.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 02/04/2017 08:40

Just say, 'sorry that was intended for my husband not you. I still don't see why I should cover the cost of the missed test when it is due to your unavailability'. I would try and borrow an alternative car as others have suggested. Or could instructor get a family member to drive you to test then let you use his car?

Original poster
CadburyMellos · 02/04/2017 08:43

The text I sent said:
"So pissed off, Dave* is ill so not having test tomorrow. Knew this would happen. Sick to death of the fucking bastard letting me down all the time. Wish I'd found somebody else weeks ago who is more competent"

He replied a few seconds later saying "Right. Ok."

I've since replied saying "Oh god, so sorry Dave*, that was for my husband, so disappointed as getting myself worked up over test and now got cancel it"

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 02/04/2017 08:43

I agree that instructor must stump up for new test.

I am so in danger of doing this one day OP.

The good news is you won't need to see him after you pass (good luck!)

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 02/04/2017 08:45

What names did you call him, exactly? Because that will determine how easy it'll be to make this right...Fair enough to be upset and to express that - but it's not his fault that he's unwell, and calling him names in response to that just sounds childish.

Presumably he'll cover the cost of the new test anyway since he's cancelled with such late notice. What could he have done differently, apart from not get ill?

therealpippi · 02/04/2017 08:45

I don't see why you should be paying for it. I'd be fuming too and rightly so. Maybe you should have told him that.

CalmItKermitt · 02/04/2017 08:46

Oh whoops!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 02/04/2017 08:47

Cross-posted with the actual text: I would guess you won't have to see him again after that anyway, so don't worry about it! If I were him, I'd take that as pretty clear notice that your lessons had come to an end!

stonecircle · 02/04/2017 08:48

You've done him a huge favour. You've let him know that he needs to up his game so other clients don't feel let down by him. I'm sure a lot of instructors must get work via word of mouth. He'll get more work if people are able to recommend him to friends and family.

pinkblink · 02/04/2017 08:48

That's a bit of a shitty situation, he should understand your frustration though.

tiredworrier · 02/04/2017 08:49

Oh dear Blush all you can do is apologise, which you have. It is frustrating though and I would be annoyed if they cancelled so late.

neonrainbow · 02/04/2017 08:50

I don't think what you said was that heinous actually if its true. Can you get hold of another car to use for the test?

haveacupoftea · 02/04/2017 08:50

I think best thing all round would be for you to find a new instructor Confused

mando12345 · 02/04/2017 08:52

I'd focus now on trying to borrow a car, pay for insurance and go and get some practice. It's not expensive to add a learner temporarily to insurance, I've done it.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 02/04/2017 08:53

I think Phoenix has got it completely right. Own it. Apologise for the language but you were venting to DH who would have expected it, but more importantly what is "Dave" he going to do about your wasted fee. Apologise again; employ another instructor; move on.

And good luck with the test whenever it happens!

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