should I apologize? (warning trans thread!)

[startrek90]

I have come to AIBU because people don't hold back.

The other day I posted on fb asking if anyone could recommend where I could get a toy kitchen cheap for my little boy. A friend and I were talking in the comments and I mentioned that my ds loves playing in the house at kindergarten and he apparently spends lots of time there. His teachers joked that they knew when I was weaning his brother because he was 'weaning' the baby doll at nursery. My friend and I were doing a general aww thing and then another acquaintance who was female but is now 'trans masculine gender queer' (I still have no idea what that is exactly, I assumed transgender) commented that my 2 year old was obviously identifying as a girl and sent me a link to mermaids?

I disagreed and just said he is a two year old and playing out what he sees. Since then I have benn inundated with stuff talking about trans children and their high risk of suicide.

We are talking everyday there was something else sent to me, I was tagged in etc..

I'll be honest I got pissed off with this as I don't believe in gender anyway so sent a pm very politely saying to stop it. My son is not trans he is 2.

Then there was a very public fb status about ignorant parents and how their kids will grow up to hate them. I know I should have ignored it but I commented again laying out my opinion about gender. I got accused of being a terf, that I was transphobic and my 'daughter' would grow up and either kill himself because of me or cut me out.

I admit I lost it and told this person to do one and fuck off. I blocked them (should have done it straight away) but now I have a mutual friend (who is also transgender but not so political with it) who contaced me in private saying how upset and worried our mutual acquaintance is and that I should unblock them, apologize for telling them to fuck off and make things up.

I don't think I should but was I out of order?

I think you were being entirely REASONABLE. Don't apologise, there's nothing to be sorry for. I also think you need to cut contact with people like this as the dynamic sounds really unhealthy to me.

This putting people into boxes, especially children, pisses me right off. There's no reason why a boy can't play with dolls or a girl can't play with cars. It doesn't make them trans, it makes them children.

What a fucking busybody. They should be apologising to you.

Nobody can tell anyone else "you are trans" and that includes adults to children.

People can decide for themselves.

A two year old playing copying what adults around him do is 100% normal.

There's a small chance that your son may turn out trans. But it won't be because of the toys he liked to play with as a toddler and it won't be before he even understands what gender is

They are projecting massively. It's also bloody offensive of her to say that cooking=female. It's sexist to think that.

My brothers loved playing with the hand me down prams and so called 'girl things'. He even pretended to feed his baby against his chest. He mimicked my mum and dad and played out when he saw there. By this woman's definition he is transferred and should have committed suicide.

On the other side, my trans friend didn't gave any inclination to play with so called girls toys when little despite having the option. She just knew she wasn't in the right body and loathed being male.

what an absolute load of bollocks.

I bet Gordon Ramsay played with a toy kitchen as a toddler
This made him a chef not a girl
That person is a loon
The founder of that mermaids site had her young son castrated so I'm told
The world has gone mad

WTF? That's harassment.

Do not apologise, these people are seriously misguided.

Fucking outrageous to suggest playing with a kitchen is a female thing. Ridiculous and so very stupid and ignorant of your trans contact . Queen my arse. Narcissistic fuckwitt more like.

On a complete side note what about Jamie, Gordon, etc.

My own dh is pretty handy in the kitchen wen we share housework 50/50, why shouldn't we, we both work? My dad has always done the cooking at home and obviously knows how to tidy up after him.

xpost gordon et al

YADNBU. What a batshit crazy! Of course you blocked them. I'd block your other friend if they don't back right off. How dare they! My DC, like everyone else's, played with a wide range of toys. One of my DS used to dance round the kitchen with nothing on but a feather boa. He looked adorable.

As PP have said, bloody Mermaids is downright dangerous. Its CEO flew her son to the US for hormones at 12 and then to the far east for genital surgery at 16. The organisation is a pressure group, although they try to promote themselves as "experts" and their suicide figures are wildly exaggerated

Why do people refer to this man in womens clothes as she? He is not a woman.

Fucking fed up with this bullshit.

Shit - best let Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey know they are really woman!!!!
What a fucking dickhead

I would just say 'thanks, I'll keep that in mind' just because these things are a transphobia trap. Then I would avoid them at all times. but keep a veneer of friendliness.

If you try to justify blocking her the numpties will say "he's only trying to help" and imply you are unreasonable. And you don't want to draw more attention to this than necessary.

BTW whenever my DCs spent hours playing with something at someone else's house they were bored with it in a day or so once they had the same thing at home (except maybe the trampoline).

Has the OP been back or have I just missed the posts?

Indian the friend is a biological woman (and always will be)

But Gloria that keeps the channel open for this bizarre woman to keep plugging away. Far better to let them know now that their input is not required

Trans thing aside, how the fuck dare anyone comment on your 2 year old child and your personal life on Facebook? Bloody self obsessed arsehole.

I take it that this is an April Fool....

LadyPW - I take it this is an April Fool

Why?

But Gloria that keeps the channel open for this bizarre woman to keep plugging away. Far better to let them know now that their input is not required

Yes, but you have no idea how a 2 year old will turn out LGBT or whatever. So it comes over as a bit transphobic (in the present day mad world) to just dismiss her and her views.
But if she is pushing Mermaids as a go to place for children you could mention it to school/nursery as that is not on.

Change your circle of freinds or 'acquaintances' someone pushing trans that hard shouldn't be around children or the child we end up as fucked in the head as he obviously is.
Enjoy your Ds and let him be what he is - a 2 year old child playing with toys,

I think this is very real, and I'm actually pleased that some think it's a joke. Proves how ridiculous the whole thing is

Your friend is a gender-stereotyping idiot if she thinks that playing house and pretending to wean a baby means that your son wants to be a girl. Telling her to fuck off was perfectly excusable given the barrage of "advice" that she sent your way.

Shit - best let Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey know they are really woman!!!!

Nah, they're being paid for cooking. It is only feminine if you do it for free. Once it is highly paid, it's only for men.
(Which should really make any last person on the planet realize what this is about. Gender roles are about power.)

Why?
Because it was started on April 1st before midday & the OP hasn't come back. And it's the sort of thread that could be guaranteed to get strong reactions. I don't think it's a good one if it is that, but it wouldn't surprise me. Equally though, it wouldn't surprise me if it were true (sadly)