To ask if you would think this woman is partly to blame for what happened to her? (Might be triggering for some people)

[NervousNancy]

This has being playing on my mind all day and I just need to get this out so please bear with me and try not to be too harsh.

A young woman goes out clubbing one night with her friends. She dresses up for her night out - skimpy dress, does her makeup, puts on some high heeled shoes, etc. She ends up getting very drunk and ends up getting separated from her friends.

So she is alone, very drunk and clearly not thinking straight. She decides to walk home alone. Unfortunately on her way home she ends up being raped.

Would you say that she is partly responsible for what happened to her and accept some of the blame?

Of course it's not her fault. YABU for starting a thread about this - what are you hoping to achieve?

No. Never.

The rapist bears all the responsibility for this. He is going to rape whether or not the woman is young, old, drunk, sober, in a dress or jeans . In my opinion.

But if she wasn't drunk and decided to walk home alone it wouldn't have happened. Nobody forced her to get drunk or walk home alone. Those were all her decisions.

Why are you making excuses for her rapist? It's ridiculous, she can do whatever she likes and shouldn't be worried about being raped because of her actions. RAPE IS NOT OK.

But if she wasn't drunk and decided to walk home alone it wouldn't have happened. Nobody forced her to get drunk or walk home alone. Those were all her decisions.

And all decisions she is entitled to make without being raped

exactly, if you decide to cross a street, is it your fault if a car runs a red light and runs you over? no, because the law says the car shouldn't be running the red light. same logic applies. walking down a road drunk and alone are not illegal, rape is.

100% of rapes are caused by rapists.

Hth.

The difference is her decisions were legal and the rapists decision is illegal.

I'm sorry but I find your post disgusting. Would you say the same for a drunk man walking home? This happens every single night. If, on a blue moon, he was raped, should he accept blame for being drunk and walking home alone?

Classic misogynistic nonsense.

"But if she hadn't got drunk and walked home alone it wouldn't have happened"

If he hadn't decided to be a rapist it wouldn't have happened.

I think you are confusing two things. The judge said (rightly in my opinion) that being drunk and out of control puts you at greater risk of being attacked. Just like leaving your car unlocked leaves you at risk of having it stolen. It's a statistical fact. However, the BLAME is entirely on the rapist. She did nothing wrong.

But if she wasn't drunk and decided to walk home alone it wouldn't have happened. Nobody forced her to get drunk or walk home alone. Those were all her decisions.

If she had got drunk, walked home alone and not crossed the path of a rapist on the way it wouldn't have happened. That's the factor that meant she ended up being raped. She didn't have control over the rapist's decisions. He did and he decided to rape her.

But if she wasn't drunk and decided to walk home alone it wouldn't have happened

You are, presumably, aware that you don't have to be drunk to get raped? And that you don't have to be drunk to walk home alone? Because your post makes it sound like you're not.

Nope, all the blame lies with the rapist. It doesn't matter what she's wearing, how intoxicated she is, if she's alone or with friends, nobody should ever have to endure that. Being a rape victim is a life sentence.

This happened 14 years ago. I never reported it or told anyone because I thought it was my fault and I just knew other people (including my own family) would blame me for it too.

Why would she be partly responsible or partly to blame?

Of course she's not to blame. The rapist is to blame.

Nope, the rapist is at fault. She could have kept herself safer, but the only person to blame is the rapist. It was his choice to rape and commit her crime. Her choices were legal, his were not.

I also know nobody forced him to rape me. That was his decision too.

Unless I'm reading it wrong the op is not victim blaming? I think she's taken issue with posts on other threads who would say the girl bears a responsibility and is using this thread to show how ridiculous and misogynistic they were.

I've a feeling the OP may be talking about herself, so be gentle people.

No it was definitely not your fault, I promise.

It wasn't your fault. If your family wouldn't have believed you they are out of order. The rapist was 100% responsible. I believe you.

So sorry NervousNancy. You were absolutely not to blame in any way.

I believe you. I'm sorry you went through that. You were not to blame

Cross post sorry.