AIBU - no idea if this was racist?

[thisIsMyNewUserName]

I'm narrowing myself down to a few hundred people (in theory) so want to be careful with identifying myself in real life.

Someone made a complaint about a colleague. During a meeting, babies were discussed. He said something like "Well, Asian ones are by far the cutest". Someone made a complaint and he has a meeting with HR next week about it. They suggested he contact a union rep should he wish as well as including a pdf of various policies within the company which I think points to bad news.

He's white, BTW. His wife is too and they've a 6 month old blonde-haired, blue-eyes daughter

I think he was at absolute worst a little immature but am interested in a consensus. AIBU thinking he should be given the benefit of the doubt? He's expecting to be hung, drawn and quartered.

About 5 people told me that DD would be beautiful when I was pregnant because she's mixed race. It pissed me off.

It was a bloody stupid thing to say in the workplace. I'd expect him to be told that.

Eye of the beholder. So he thinks that babies with certain visual traits are cute. If he said 'all white babies are thick' or 'all Chinese babies are lazy' then it would be beyond weird to say the least.

There was nothing negative about it. He did not say white babies.

Why do you think it would have been racist if he had said it about white babies, but it's not racist because he said it about Asian babies?

That's quite an old fashioned way of looking at things.

Racism goes on in all areas of life you know. All nationalities are capable of racism.

He's made a race-based generalisation - how would it have gone down if he'd said 'White babies are the cutest'?

This, no need to say anything really, people get all fidgety and sometimes they just open their big gobs and all sorts of shite comes falling out. best not to say anything about race, religion or sex these days

It most definitely is racist, not a complement at all.

It was inappropriate to say at work, he shouldn't have said it. HR is obliged to handle the complaint but the most he should get is a reminder that such comments are not welcome in the workplace.

If I was in the manager or HR's shoes, I'd be more concerned with keeping an eye on the complainant. That is clearly someone who wants to create a problem for some reason (imo) and I would be watching very carefully for how next they will rock the boat.

So by that logic I am also racist for being attracted to a certain type (ie red haired white men) Correct?

•So by that logic I am also racist for being attracted to a certain type (ie red haired white men) Correct?•

No only if you make a generalisation.

is red hair a race now?

I think it fits into the same category as all black people are good dancers, all Asian students are smart, etc etc, it is labeling a group of people with a set characteristic that is not biological or factual but an opinion. Sometimes a good attribute sometimes a flaw, etc.

Also, in a way this type of comment implies something more, it kind of infantiles Asian people, beautiful babies or children as a defining feature of a whole continent of people, the most populous continent on earth.

I thik it is just better to recognize all races have beautiful children and not to lump together all kids with the same heritage.

parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/19/mixed-kids-are-always-so-beautiful/?_r=0

Just blimmin' weird thing to say if you ask me, categorising babies in order of cuteness as if they were breeds of puppy.

And all the people saying its positive so it can't be racist, how do you feel about the statement "black people are such great dancers!" People can mean well whilst still being racist.

I'd probably have told him that was a weird thing to say then and there, not tattle to HR though. Stupid isn't the same as malicious.

DancingDragon - do you announce your preferences during meetings at work, in a situation where they might make others uncomfortable?

If I were a red-haired, white man and someone in a business meeting piped up that they were 'only attracted to red-haired white men' I would feel pretty awkward!

hoddtastic well, red hair is caused by genes, as are our features that would make us part of a race, so I cannot see why it is not treated the same.

Ha greyhound, snap!

Not in the slightest racist and hasn't the person who made the complaint got actual work to do?

You say he was remarking on your DS and as you feel that it is a bit of an immature thing to say, a quiet word between you, him and a manager should be the end of it.

I can't stand folk who get offended on other folks behalf. Mind your own business & stop trying to see ill intent when there is clearly none intended.

Do urge your colleague to have a Union rep present though. That is so important.

Bit worrying when someone can't even saying something nice about a different race without being branded a racist - I don't understand all this nonsense at all. If someone said they think babies with blonde hair and blue eyes are the nicest they wouldn't be seeing HR for goodness sakes

white babies with blonde hair and blue eyes

Asmoto. Depends on the environment and the circumstances. And the relationship with those people at work in the first place. There are lots of things on all sorts of topics I would say to some but not others.

But from what you're saying, its ok to think these racist thoughts as long as you don't say it, yes?

Bit of an odd comment to make in a work context, but surely not worth getting het up about?

DancingDragon I believe in freedom of thought - people can think whatever they want, as long as they don't start expressing thoughts in a way which might hurt others.

Because calling a group of people cute is utterly hurtful. I get that. I really do.....

I don't think it's racist at all . I'm a photographer and I often tell people I love photographing mixed race babies because they usually have such lovely skin tones. Does that make me a racist?

A bit.

A bit??? Either you are or you're not no?