AIBU - no idea if this was racist?

[thisIsMyNewUserName]

I'm narrowing myself down to a few hundred people (in theory) so want to be careful with identifying myself in real life.

Someone made a complaint about a colleague. During a meeting, babies were discussed. He said something like "Well, Asian ones are by far the cutest". Someone made a complaint and he has a meeting with HR next week about it. They suggested he contact a union rep should he wish as well as including a pdf of various policies within the company which I think points to bad news.

He's white, BTW. His wife is too and they've a 6 month old blonde-haired, blue-eyes daughter

I think he was at absolute worst a little immature but am interested in a consensus. AIBU thinking he should be given the benefit of the doubt? He's expecting to be hung, drawn and quartered.

Flipthebirdy ... my friend was white and she said she couldn't ever find white men attractive .... she meant all of them. That's what I mean - how do you define that? Also she didn't want black men for their supposedly large appendages - she could relate to them better in all aspects. That's why I mean it's not always as cut and dried as it seems. One of her children doesn't like white people (he's obviously mixed race) but his mum was white so he is part white. Another of her children put on fb a while back when they'd been to a maternal relatives do "at a white people's party" ... how do we define that when they are half white? That's why I find it all confusing

Sorry for leaving the thread. I didn't have much to add anyway but (other) real life took over.

Yes, there really wasn't more to it than "Asian ones are by far the cutest." Someone made an unprofessional comment about 2 white babies recently born to women who work at the company. "Chris' baby's much better looking than weather's". The man in question said "who cares, we all know Asian babies are the cutest."

It's interesting there's such a divide. HR meeting on Monday. I think he's a little more relaxed now (but expecting a bollocking) having been given an important project today. His manager would have probably been given the heads-up if they were about to be dumped.

Isn't it a bit like saying, "all black people are amazing dancers," or, "all Asians are really clever"? It might be positive but it's still making an assumption and a sweeping statement based on race.

The only way it would be ok would be to say, "personally I think X and Y, my friend's babies/celebrity babies who are asian, are the cutest babies I've ever seen." Because that's what he actually means - the Asian babies he has seen are the cutest in his opinion. But that's only a tiny, infinitesimal proportion of Asian babies and it's only his opinion!

The man in question said "who cares, we all know Asian babies are the cutest.

So to me it sounds like he was just making a joke to lighten the situation. And sometimes a joke is just a joke.

Yes, there really wasn't more to it than "Asian ones are by far the cutest." Someone made an unprofessional comment about 2 white babies recently born to women who work at the company. "Chris' baby's much better looking than weather's". The man in question said "who cares, we all know Asian babies are the cutest.

So there is more to it? Someone else made an unprofessional comment, so he followed up with one of his own.

He's not going to get fired for it.

Because what he is saying there is "all asian people look the same to me"

This argument has popped up throughout this thread and it just isn't logical. Expressing a preference for a particular category of something doesn't mean that you're blind to differences within that category. People who say "I like hip-hop music the best" aren't saying "all hip-hop sounds the same". Ditto "I find slim / muscular / well-endowed / small-breasted / brown-eyed people most attractive".
Does anyone really mean "I perceive no differences between individual members of this group" every time they refer to a group as a whole?

If you said red headed babies are particularly cute, would that have been an issue? I think if it's a comment that could be applied to any catagory of physical appearance and psositive fine, if negative, then it's rude.

To catagorise or point out anything based on race is probably unwise, but a bit strong to imply racism.

Also if the guy had been Asian himself, would it been ok for him to make the distinction?

from your update it sounds like he was just trying to alleviate someone else's cringey comment - he definitely shouldn't get into trouble - if anything it shows he cares about peoples' feelings

....also I don't think it is saying that all babies who share a racial heritage look the same per say, but children of different races look different, mine does. We can all see that children of different races often share some characters, for example, hair and skin colour that can really define the race they are from. I'm really surprised we wouldn't all recognise this. Some of those characteristics look especially cute on a young child. I think that was all this guy was saying.

I think he was trying to get through an awkward situation about someone making rude comments about a baby.
I think some races do have cuter babies. I don't know why though.

Intention is the key I think...
If someone said this intending it to be derogatory, which he clearly didn't, then it is racist.
His intentions were positive but clumsy. He did not intend any harm. We can't go through life terrified to speak through fear of saying something wrong. There will always be someone somewhere who can find offence in anything, however innocently the speakers intentions were.
I'm a bugger for this myself, referring to myself as half caste - even though the accepted term is mixed race. Its just that in the 80's, when i was growing up, thats what my parents called us, and it has stuck as my own description of myself . However whenever speaking about anyone else mixed race is the term I use as I don't think of others as half caste, only myself and my brother.

I find them the cutest too because their grandmas bundle them up in all those little colourful vests, coats etc until they look like walking patchwork balls.

It's a stupid thing to be called out on.

Aethestic preferences dont have to make sense, its just an innate feeling that we have.

Some of, like regularity and symmetry of features seem to be universal, but beyond that, it's probably down to socialisation and familiarity.

We don't grow up in isolated bubbles. Our preferences are formed by the people around us, TV, books, radio, shopping malls, schools, clubs - everything everywhere. It is usually unconscious,but it's mostly learnt, not innate. Lots of employers run courses on unconscious bias these days, to reduce the effects of it in recruitment and so on.

You can test yourself - implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

Sorry, wrong thread.

Not racist at all. Who would complain about something like that! It seems like a huge overreaction to me. What's next, a formal complaint if someone comments that they prefer blondes?

It's thick hair (usually black) which is very cute on babies (writing as someone with white a few bald babies......). I don't think it's racist to point it out. I think long Asian hair and afro hair also look lovely (compared to my thin wisps which will never grow below shoulder length whether cut reguarly or left to grow). I don't think it's racist to say so. I like red hair too and despite being born with it never managed to produce a red haired baby.

Good God, that is not a racist comment. Whatever will the PC scaremongers swoop on next.

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I can't see anything racist in that statement tbh. If he had said Asian babies are the cutest and X country's babies are 'minging' then he would have made a racist comment aimed at X country's babies, purely based on race.

Asian babies are cute. Not saying babies from other countries aren't cute btw. Everyone is allowed their opinion and in this case the bloke concerned thinks Asian babies are the cutest. Nothing wrong with that.

If he was Asian it would be racist. If he was white and said it about white babies it would be super-racist. Only because whites have historically discriminated against all other races to the point where it has caused harm.

But tbh does anybody ever think about these weird descriptors that we have? Whit and black are colours. Asia is a continent. Chinese (China) describes a country. White travellers are now a race (why aren't they white?). Crazy, arbitrary, man-made labels.

*white

African American if you're black in America, whereas you're just white if you're 'white'.

Not 'ango american' or wherever your ancestors hail from