AIBU to expect people not to leave there seats because I am fat

[DUFFDADDY1]

On numerous cases I get on a very busy train and I notice a vacant seat between two people, when I have done this I have had looks as if I have some contagious tropical disease. Or I have mega huffs and strange noises of discontent, or as happend today the person got up and stood until another seat was available . I am overweight, but you will catch it if I sit near you👹

Nothing quite like a big and beautiful woman her rolls spilling over onto my leg. Hot...

People (of unspecified sex, likely more than 50% of them female) do not want to be squeezed against a man on public transport?

What a surprise ... not.

If you cannot fit in a seat without squishing people who are already sitting down, you shouldn't sit in it.

If you cannot fit in a seat without bleeding into the seats of the people who are already sitting there and rubbing up against them, you shouldn't sit in them.

You can ask people to move over so you can have an aisle seat, but they are under no obligation to move. They were there first; why should they have to move into a less comfortable position and be squished between two people because you want to sit down in a seat that is too small for you?

It's horrible and uncomfortable to be trapped and rubbed up against by other people on public transportation, especially complete strangers. And women can feel particularly vulnerable when a large man is the one doing it to them. It just isn't nice.

Yes, you pay to travel. But so does everybody else. If you want a seat, pay for one in first class.

Op just thought, I've got a friend who's size 18, I travel with her sometimes on trains and buses and she always makes space and would be mortified if someone was squashed. In fact I often sit next to her when travelling with her and nope no squashedness.

It's you who's being selfish.

Oh and some seriously overweight men (not women) can't smell their sweat etc, I've known of a few who don't sweat/smell though.

I can assure you this is not a wind up. Despite grammatical errors

Ewe I bet OP will carry on in his own sweet way squashing people with no regard for them and then here later drip feed as to a medical problem being the reason why he can't or won't lose weight.

Still can't believe OP you can't put yourself in the other peoples position and still think only of yourself.

I don't actually understand why they have the three-seats on trains. I don't even try to use them, because although my arse will fit on the seat without encroaching on other people's space I am somewhat broad of shoulder and I can't sit back.

Even on the 2-seaters, though, I fairly frequently have blokes - and it is always men - effectively sitting on part of my leg because they are Male and Need More Space.

If you can't fit into a space, don't try.

Not me being fattist, by the way, I'm large myself (but fit into one seat, no encroaching here).

Duff, you are too fat to ever squash yourself into the middle seat if the outside two are already occupied. You've paid for the journey, not the seat. If sitting down is going to cause discomfort to 2 other people then don't do it. It's rude.

The problem, OP, is that you have taken people with a legitimate problem with you, and instead of having a moments thought for them, you've made out that they are rude and nasty and its because of your size and its NOT FAIR .

Well, if it's not a wind up then you have serious personality and sensitivity issues, as well as weight related health issues.

I can assure you this is not a wind up

So, you're just obnoxious?

OP, I think everyone was being nice and now you've started to sound like an entitled twat, you'll have to accept their responses. No-one wants to touch anyone, end of story. It makes people feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, invaded, whatever. It's not because you're overweight, it's because you are a bloody stranger. It's fecking unpleasant at the best of times (try being armpit height and getting rammed into stranger's pits after a hot summer day in an unventilated office) and we all do what we can to be polite and respect each other's space. I'm not going to cosy up to you just because it might make you feel less shit and give your ego a stroke. Sit where you fit, or don't. That applies to the lady who said she was a size 4, right up to the front row of the New Zealand rugby team.

Tapandgo
I do not have any personality issues and as for having sensitivity issues, I would also disagree , the question is simple AIBU, that's it . Also some are saying I am being sensitive and others I am being selfish.

The question you asked was the wrong one though. You ASSUME people don't want you to sit next to them because you are fat, when really its just that there isn't room for you (or anyone really) and you don't give a fuck and want to sit there anyway.
They don't huff at you because you are fat, they huff at you because you are basically trying to sit on top of them!

OP - anybody who squashes into a space they do not fit that leads to the discomfort of others is clearly oblivious to the rights of others (insensitive), or is aware and chooses to ignore those rights (personality issue).
Put yourself in the shoes of the other person being squashed and it may give you a different perspective

Yes, YABU. 10 pages of posters have told you so. Have you got the message yet. YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE.

I can't bear sitting next to very overweight people, as they all seem to have very loud, laboured breathing. Being a skinny little thing, i seem to attract them as they see the space I'm not using in my seat as an opportunity to spill.

Yes, you're being unreasonable. Show this thread to the peeps whose personal space you're currently invading and garner their opinions.

well, Duff you would never admit this was a wind up even if it was -would you?

I don't know about you not having personality issues. I think you show a lack of empathy because not once in all these posts have you ever said 'Ah yes. I take the point. I've been a bit thoughtless'.

why have you never said that?

If there isn't enough room for your arse, regardless of its size, don't sit in the seat. Common courtesy surely.

I wouldn't call you fat but I'd most certainly call you rude and obnoxious.

YABU People aren't moving seats because you're fat, they're moving because you sit on them or squash them which is rude of you and uncomfortable for them.

And yes I have asked people if they would want to move so I don't crush them.

My reply to that would be, if you can't sit down without crushing me, you'll need to sit somewhere else.

Surely that's common sense?

Is it just me, or are the self confessed 'tiny' people whinging that fatties seem to be 'attracted' to sitting next to them, are as deluded as the fat people who think no-one wants to sit next to them...

I doubt most people mentally weigh other passengers before deciding who to sit next to? It's not like you have much choice on most trains, since they were privatised, so now run like cattle trucks.