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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect people not to leave there seats because I am fat

283 replies

DUFFDADDY1 · 28/03/2017 08:04

On numerous cases I get on a very busy train and I notice a vacant seat between two people, when I have done this I have had looks as if I have some contagious tropical disease. Or I have mega huffs and strange noises of discontent, or as happend today the person got up and stood until another seat was available . I am overweight, but you will catch it if I sit near you👹

OP posts:
Lweji · 28/03/2017 09:47

I imagine that if half of your butt cheek is out of the seat, then that's at least half of my body out of the seat if situations are reversed. It's hugely uncomfortable for me, but not for you.

PineappleExpress · 28/03/2017 09:48

What's the op to do then, stand for the duration of his journey?

You mean like the people who are getting touched/squashed have to? Or anyone who gets on after the last seat has been taken?

Lweji · 28/03/2017 09:49

Alternatively, ask them to move and for you to sit at the edge.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 09:53

I hate it when people half sit on me on the train! I'm small and TBH it's fucking intimidating

As I said upthread I hate it too (but they were small and it was in a theatre) but believe me it was unpleasant especially as I was in no doubt that a point was being made (along the lines of stay at home next time fatty)

HashiAsLarry · 28/03/2017 09:53

Men are definitely worse than women due to spreadage. If you're overspilling anyway, I'm guessing you're also penning them in through spreading. If those people aren't tiny thin themselves you're giving them a very uncomfortable ride.

Oh the spreadage thing also works for facing people too, I am often given a small space where my legs are meant to fit and can't move them as the person opposite thinks their need to spread and the room to do it trumps all.

Bloggybollocks · 28/03/2017 09:53

It's not about entitlement, touching, seats being too small etc etc, it's about an obesity epidemic where people are justifying the fact that they are massively overweight by making out it's everybody else's problem. It's not, it's yours. Lose weight, don't spill into the seat, don't touch other people, don't force others to stand because you're taking up their seat too. Yes, you've paid for a seat but frankly if you don't fit into that seat without your size encroaching in others then frankly, you should be the one to stand up.
Being overweight is becoming the norm, as this thread full of obesity apologists shows! It's your problem OP, you sort it out.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 09:54

Yes. Sitting down all the time probably got him to this place in the first place

Sheer conjecture at best and bloody unpleasant at worst.

DioneTheDiabolist · 28/03/2017 09:55

People don't want you touching them OP. Why is that a problem for you?Confused

countrygirl55 · 28/03/2017 09:57

Nothing to do with fat, but I have massive issues about anyone touching me (apart from people I know, obv). I cannot abide travelling to London once a month for this exact reason because although I will always get a corner seat on the way there (meaning I can lean away from anyone who comes to sit next to me), the tube and the return journey mean I will have bits of other people pressed against me. I just want to read my book quietly and pray for it to be over! It could be a tiny Kylie lookalike and I would still be pissy if they were touching me. I would be similarly pissy about people eating smelly food, talking loudly, putting their feet on seats etc so basically I am a pretty intolerant traveller!

I am fully aware that I am often pushed against others on the tube and they probably hate it just as much as me.

upsidedownpinapplecake · 28/03/2017 09:59

Dailyfail material

originalbiglymavis · 28/03/2017 10:01

I don't like it when people sit on me. It's happened when someone flopped down on the bus recently and I got half of their side-butt resting on my thigh.

Then you get elbowed as they r ad the paper, knees knocked as they display their testicles to the world, prodded as they search their pockets for their phone, knocked when they fiddle with their bags..

Fat, skinny or somewhere in between (and especially if you are stinky, sneezy, noisey or any of the other 7 dwarves) don't squish up against me!

GreyStars · 28/03/2017 10:03

So in answer to some comments, I may slightly encroach

It must be hard to read, I'm sure your a very lovely person, but I have been sat on, squished many many times on the met line and have had to endure a long uncomfortable tube ride as I can't stand up for long periods of time due to a medical condition

I hate it, absolutely hate it when my personal space is being violated - you could look like Brad Pitt and if you come and sit next to me and your body is overspilling onto mine then I am going to feel very uncomfortable, I would feel less uncomfortable if you were woman but I still wouldn't like it. You see the thing is, I don't know you, I don't know your lovely all I know is that your body is touching mine and that it is making me very uncomfortable

From what you have said your being given more room, as people are getting up, so whilst I appreciate you think people are being rude to you by getting up, what is actually happening is that you are making them uncomfortable by encroaching "slightly" into their personal space as you call it.

Those "three" seats are not big enough for someone who is a size 24 and two people of a size 8 quite frankly, if your joining that person in the middle feels like a hot dog in a bun, so either sit facing the aisle and maybe ask the person your sat next too, do you have enough room, be considerate of your fellow passengers.

CupOfJoe · 28/03/2017 10:05

Some of the comments on here are uncalled for but OP YABU I'm afraid.

I'm averaged sized and wouldn't sit in the middle seat on a train as they are tiny, you've admitted yourself that you were taking up more than your own space.

This isn't a debate on whether it is "right" or "wrong" to be obese, but simply the case that someone's physical presence is invading someone elses (whether that be because they are bigger than average, they smell (BO or overuse of perfume or something), they are wearing a great big feather boa).

Maudlinmaud · 28/03/2017 10:05

FFS mumsnet yet again baited into another daily mail story.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 28/03/2017 10:05

This thread is hilarious! I think the goady OP has more than achieved their objective.

Can we start a discussion about airline seats now? You need to buy two if you don't fit into one. Seriously, a 24 hour flight with massive spillage over the arm rest and only half a seat to yourself is not pleasant. And it's impossible to get to the bathroom. Just saying.

Apologies to anyone who is disabled, but the vaaaaaaast majority of overweight people just eat too much and don't exercise. And that's fine! Unless they then complain that others are annoyed about BEING SAT ON!

Ahaha! Good thread. Smile

ErrolTheDragon · 28/03/2017 10:05

So the OP is encroaching on other passengers' space, and complaining when they have to move to avoid discomfort? Confused

'Numerous cases'? Doesn't it cross your mind it's you, OP, not them. YABU. If you're physically too large for the space the middle seat - and this could be because of massive muscles rather than fat - then preferably don't try to sit in it, or if you must then have the good grace to be grateful to the people who make room for you rather than having the gall to complain about it.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 10:06

That howling you hear across the ether is me sobbing at the realisation that I have been had!!!

WetPaint4 · 28/03/2017 10:08

I'm very fat. I don't have a medical condition, I'm just greedy. I like to be considerate towards others. I don't try to squeeze my fat ass into small spaces, especially if it means taking up some of the space someone else has paid for. I don't mind being squished up against others, it's quite cosy. But I appreciate that many others do mind, so I won't usually try it. It's really not difficult to think about others.

robinia · 28/03/2017 10:10

Op - if there's overspill when you sit in a gangway seat then there's overspill when you sit in a middle seat - hence people moving.

juneau · 28/03/2017 10:22

If you shoehorn yourself into a middle seat when that seat is not actually big enough to accommodate you and you overspill onto the seats either side then you should not be surprised if those people whose space you've invaded are pissed off! I'd be pissed off and yes, I'd tut or stand. You know how big you are and what size of space you need, so choose your seat accordingly. It's never okay to take up part of a stranger's seat area.

sonjadog · 28/03/2017 10:31

This thread makes me think that public seats must be very small in the UK. I am overweight, and I can only think of a handful of occasions where the seat has been so small that it has been uncomfortable/ impossible to fit into the space allocated. It seems like posters here experience this regularly?

WorraLiberty · 28/03/2017 10:39

People may have many different reasons for getting up when you sit down, OP.

None of them are any of your business really and for all you know, they may get up with others sit next to them too.

Although I must say I'm surprised, because most people who travel on packed trains, would rather be squashed sitting down, that squashed standing up.

HecateAntaia · 28/03/2017 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 28/03/2017 11:11

sonjadog

Many train three-seaters can on fit three slim people comfortably.
In the US they'd probably be called 2-seaters.