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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To confront these so called friends?

310 replies

YouKnowNothingJS · 26/03/2017 20:57

Arranged to see Beauty and the Beast with 3 friends. In a group chat, two cancelled as they couldn't afford it and the third cancelled as we should do it instead when everyone is free.

Flat mate who is also friends with one of them saw on snapchat that they'd all gone this afternoon. They'd blocked me from seeing this Snapchat.

Aibu to confront them? Tempted to leave a message in our group chat.

OP posts:
chastenedButStillSmiling · 26/03/2017 21:01

My instinct was to suggest a very PA "how did you enjoy the film, guys?"

but I'm now thinking... what do you hope to achieve? Are these friends important to you? Would you be upset to lose them? If not, drop. If so... um... guess you need to hang on in there???

Are you upset?

Could there be any reason? EG they're all massive Emma Watson fans and you loathe her so they think you might bring the mood down? (sorry, just trying to think of any 'whys')

SEsofty · 26/03/2017 21:03

You clearly need to find out what happened.

Are you planning on seeing anyof them anyway as might be better to ask in person

witsender · 26/03/2017 21:04

I would have to say something tbh.

CocoLoco87 · 26/03/2017 21:04

Really sorry OP. What a lousy thing for them to do Sad I hate situations like this. Surely they must know you'd find out sooner or later! I hope you have some other friends you can go and see it with.

SorrelSoup · 26/03/2017 21:05

"So what was all that about then?" No emotion, put the ball firmly in their court. Sounds like the end of the friendship. That's awful behaviour.

ophiotaurus · 26/03/2017 21:05

Wtf?! I think I'd have to say something. I'd message them and say what you've seen.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 26/03/2017 21:06

Not my definition of a friendship. Confused

khajiit13 · 26/03/2017 21:06

You need to say something yes. There's. I excuse for that, thu deliberately excluded you and I'd need an explanation or I wouldn't want to be seeing them again.

PrivetDrive24 · 26/03/2017 21:06

Thats pretty shitty of them

Moanyoldcow · 26/03/2017 21:07

What a bunch of cunts.

HecateAntaia · 26/03/2017 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelloDeer · 26/03/2017 21:07

Nasty, nasty bitches!

Personally I would confront them and then cut them out of my life and never speak to them or have anything to do with them again! They sound like they're about 6 years old anyway, you definitely don't need friends like that.

AddToBasket · 26/03/2017 21:08

Yes, you were deliberately left out. Sad Horrible.

But don't 'confront' them. You really don't need to. You know all that you need to know from their behaviour. You cannot make them invite you or want to hang out with you.

But, you can hang on to your dignity. Make new friends. Painful as it is, I would think a bit about why they might have not wanted you there. But ultimately, remember that they have behaved extremely badly.

AYankinSpanx · 26/03/2017 21:09

"So what was all that about then?" No emotion, put the ball firmly in their court. Sounds like the end of the friendship. That's awful behaviour.

I agree ^^

The blocking thing is so deliberate - I wouldn't be friends with these people anymore.

Italiangreyhound · 26/03/2017 21:09

I'd speak to them face by face independently. See if one person was the one who suggested it etc and was mean and others just went along with it.

If anyone was apologetic etc I'd probably be prepared to move on but I would really want to know why they felt his was OK, because it was definitively not OK.

I'd also try and make some new friends, what yours did was nasty and sneaky.

ShowMeWhatYouGot · 26/03/2017 21:10

Bless you, we all assume this childish crap stops when we get older, sadly that's not the case, some people are just jerks x

hope your ok op Wine

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/03/2017 21:10

That's a very mean shitty trick.

I'd wash my hands of them from now on, and give them a mouthful as to you.
There are times you have to speak your mind.
If its any consolation. My ex friends were the same. Hence why they're now ex friends.

Agadooo · 26/03/2017 21:11

I'd have to say something-I think I would just post on group chat saying 'how come nobody said to me about going to the cinema today?' And see what they say.

StealthPolarBear · 26/03/2017 21:11

This is so utterly strange. You need to ask what is going on.

Joolsy · 26/03/2017 21:11

Have you fallen out with one or more of them at all lately? Or had any sort of disagreement, no matter how small?

pho3be · 26/03/2017 21:12

Id have to say something Wine

paxillin · 26/03/2017 21:12

Don't confront them. Cut them out. Delete their numbers so you don't get tempted to find out what's going on.

goodpiemissedthechips · 26/03/2017 21:12

How painful, I'm really sorry this has happened Flowers

DJBaggySmalls · 26/03/2017 21:12

Thats not friendship, challenge them and give them a chance to explain but be prepared to find out they have moved on.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 26/03/2017 21:13

Unfortunately if it were me, the red mist would descend and I'd end up texting them something like 'I see you all found enough money to see the film in the end then? Nice to know I'm not good enough to go with. Fuck the lot of you, bitches.'
Of course I'd have absolutely none of the moral high ground. But they really are shitbags for deliberately excluding you.

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