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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To confront these so called friends?

310 replies

YouKnowNothingJS · 26/03/2017 20:57

Arranged to see Beauty and the Beast with 3 friends. In a group chat, two cancelled as they couldn't afford it and the third cancelled as we should do it instead when everyone is free.

Flat mate who is also friends with one of them saw on snapchat that they'd all gone this afternoon. They'd blocked me from seeing this Snapchat.

Aibu to confront them? Tempted to leave a message in our group chat.

OP posts:
HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/03/2017 21:36

What a shitty bunch of bitches.

I would say something and I think your response was far too polite and the moral highground is well overrated. They deserved to be told how fucking spiteful their actions were and that you are angry. I personally wouldn't have let them know I was hurt, even though I would be.

I hope you have better, actual friends.

noitsnotme · 26/03/2017 21:37

I bet they're frantically messaging each other to see who and how to respond in the group chat. Bunch of horrors.

whirlygirly · 26/03/2017 21:37

Your message was fine. Nobody decent would find that funny, they'd bloody well squirm.

It's a horrible feeling. I wonder if they got some 3 for 2 deal on tickets or something. Onwards and upwards - you sound way too nice to hang out with people like that.

goodpiemissedthechips · 26/03/2017 21:38

Send them a link to this thread.

Definitely don't. They're not going to have an epiphany, grow up and turn into decent people. Cut your losses. You're worth so much more than them.

JustSpeakSense · 26/03/2017 21:39

Agree your text was perfect.

It's not you, it's them. The need to 'leave someone out' makes them feel popular and accepted. Of course, once you leave them to it, they'll start turning on each other. They've done you a favour by showing their true colours. Don't waste another moment on them.

Botanicbaby · 26/03/2017 21:39

What a horrible thing to do. It might sting now to have been left out of the cinema trip in such a shitty way but in the long run, they've actually done you a favour. They are no friends to you OP.

I think your text is fine but would advise to mentally detach and swiftly move on with your head held high. Block them all. Sounds like they could be the type to 'feed' off any resulting fall out/drama.

Feeling hurt is natural but you'll have made room to surround yourself with better friends in future Flowers

Oh and take small comfort in the fact that BatB was a load of drivel as PP said Wink

Epipgab · 26/03/2017 21:40

Well done OP CakeStar

gamerchick · 26/03/2017 21:41

Time to bin OP. In your shoes I would ignore any further contact no matter what was said but I'm not you. It depends on if you would like to salvage your friendships.

Epipgab · 26/03/2017 21:41

I think your text is fine but would advise to mentally detach and swiftly move on with your head held high. Block them all. Sounds like they could be the type to 'feed' off any resulting fall out/drama.

Yes, definitely.

RitaMills · 26/03/2017 21:41

What a nasty thing to do! I can't even think of a 'what if' situation that justifies this. Flowers

Starlight2345 · 26/03/2017 21:41

How were things before..Still a shitty thing to do.. They also know it was otherwise wouldn't of blocked you.

GretchenFranklin · 26/03/2017 21:42

Nasty cunts. Decent response OP well done.

frankie001 · 26/03/2017 21:43

Good response op

mummymummums · 26/03/2017 21:43

Well done OP, they're not your friends. They're nasty.
I had v similar many years ago in my NCT group - I paid to go on a family Xmas outing someone was organising then they refunded my money, after tickets sold out, saying they'd decided not to go. I found out by chance that in fact 3 families went on the outing. I was so devastated. I'd had a few concerns before that it was all getting cliquey, and this Xmas issue was the push I needed to walk away. A couple of messages about group meet ups followed in the months after, but I simply said I was busy. The relief when I left the group was brilliant. I never confronted them because there was nothing they could say to make it ok. I never looked back.
All the best OP, they aren't worth a backward glance.

eatingtomuch · 26/03/2017 21:44

Ask your flat mate to take a screenshot of the snap chat. I'd then send it to them xx

sonyaya · 26/03/2017 21:44

Are they called Regina and Gretchen?

Horrible people and you're well shot.

cocodidit1 · 26/03/2017 21:45

That totally shit of them. I would have it out with them, shrug and move on to find a better friend. groups always form smaller groups within due to somebodies insecurities and bullshit. I try to limit one friend from different aspects of my life so i don't end up with this behaviour. I had enough of it at school

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 26/03/2017 21:45

Your message was fine. I'm sorry youve had to learn they're shits.

bunnylove99 · 26/03/2017 21:46

OP. You deserve much better friends. Get out there and make better ones! Flowers

ShiroiKoibito · 26/03/2017 21:47

i'd message them - let them know what cows they are

DrowningSeas · 26/03/2017 21:47

That's really bloody mean and i don't blame you for sending a message.

You're better off without them

Ragdoll545 · 26/03/2017 21:47

How horrible! If any of them try to worm their way back in don't let them! You're better off without people like that!

BifsWif · 26/03/2017 21:50

They know that you know now, so I wouldn't engage with them again. Block them and move on. They are not your friends, they are complete bitches and I hope that one of them at least finds this thread.

I hope you're ok Flowers

Herschellmum · 26/03/2017 21:50

What nasty people. You're better off without them.

HashiAsLarry · 26/03/2017 21:51

Twats. Your response was good and to the point. Flowers

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