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Original poster

To hate women being called girls?

179 replies

skerrywind · 24/03/2017 06:35

My mother does it constantly. She will talk of the "girl" who served her at the bank.

My niece shared this video which is great

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 24/03/2017 11:33

There is a difference between "the boys" and "the boy on the desk" One happens. The other doesn't.
"The girls" and "the girl on the desk" are both routine.

BertrandRussell · 24/03/2017 11:35

Ever seen a newspaper headline about a "police boy"?

PeridotPeridot · 24/03/2017 11:36

Ever seen a newspaper headline about a "police boy"?

Is there one about a 'police girl' then?

PeridotPeridot · 24/03/2017 11:39

There is a difference between "the boys" and "the boy on the desk" One happens. The other doesn't. "The girls" and "the girl on the desk" are both routine

It definitely does happen and i've seen it many times. The boy on the desk, the lads on the shop floor, the boys in the office...i've heard them all recently.

TedEriksen · 24/03/2017 11:46

Never seen a headline about a police girl either...

BertrandRussell · 24/03/2017 11:58

Fair enough.

All's well in this best of all possible worlds.

Danibubbles · 24/03/2017 12:09

In our little group at work, there are two women and one man.
In every group email we receive from other colleagues, it says "Good morning ladies, and [man's name]"

For some reason, it always makes me smile Grin

BertsBlanket · 24/03/2017 12:47

I generally agree OP, although it does matter who says it and how they do it.

I suppose there are very few occasions when the important distinguishing feature of any group is that they are female, and certainly not in a work setting. Perhaps that's why it grates; it should be "good morning everyone" as you are all workers together who just happen to be women.

You wouldn't announce "good morning 20 somethings", or "hello english people", even if they all happen to fall into that group, because that isn't the reason that brought them all together.

The problem is compounded when all the possible casual words for a group of women feel unpleasant for one reason or another to some women. Women, ladies, girls, chicks (ugh), guys (no good when it essentially means men).

Ifailed · 24/03/2017 12:50

All's well in this best of all possible worlds.

FWIW, I agree with you - leaving aside women & men using Girls and Boys to describe themselves and their friends, the use of girl to describe an individual you don't know does tend to be used in a demeaning way - the checkout girl, the girl at reception, that girl other there. It is more prevalent than the male equivalent.

heardittoday · 24/03/2017 12:58

in cancer clinic today.
lots of highly trained professionals discussing their daily treatments.(they had already made their rounds since 7am)

a man looked like in his mid 70's, said, "listen to the girls chatting"

I replied I thought they were all highly trained experienced professionals working to their best ability for the community.

his reply?
Nah, they are girls to me!
There wouldn't have been a mention if the nurses had been male!

IloveBanff · 24/03/2017 13:03

People talk about having a girls' night out or a night out with the girls and also a boys' night out or a night out with the boys. Both refer to adults not children. Do you think women's night out/night out with the women and mens' night out/night out with the men sounds better?

PinkFlamingo545 · 24/03/2017 13:12

Is this thread where the eternally offended have come?

BertrandRussell · 24/03/2017 13:15

"Is this thread where the eternally offended have come?"

No. It's where the eternally unoffended have come to say how much they love fluttering their eyelashes and getting all giggly when a young male manager calls them "girls".

CancellyMcChequeface · 24/03/2017 13:19

I'm 30. I don't hate being called a woman, I know that's what I am, but I much prefer being called a girl! Woman sounds too grown up for me just yet!

I'm also 30 and would be baffled by the idea that I'm not 'grown up' enough to be called a woman. Confused I can't imagine a 30-year-old man saying that it's too grown up and he'd rather be called a boy!

Obviously you're entitled to your preference but I do find it strange.

I'm not incredibly picky - I don't mind being called woman, lady, ma'am, person, or even one of 'you guys,' but I find the term girl very demeaning for anyone over the age of 20-ish. I once had a boss who referred to our team (all women, ages 23-55) as 'the girls in department x' and it was really irritating.

user1471545174 · 24/03/2017 13:19

When you are older everyone under 40 is a boy or a girl, and looks it Grin

Young people start to you affectionate diminutives on you too, like dear, and love and darling. I'd still prefer madam.

PinkFlamingo545 · 24/03/2017 13:23

No. It's where the eternally unoffended have come to say how much they love fluttering their eyelashes and getting all giggly when a young male manager calls them "girls"

So anyone who doesn't have strong feelings about this, is a tart?

floraeasy · 24/03/2017 13:29

I can't find it in myself to care about this.

But if you do, you can't help it.

I suppose you could try and change people's minds about it, if you fancy spending your time in that way and it's important to you.

Morphene · 24/03/2017 13:32

there was a fab segment on radio 4 recently with someone who was very happy the MP she worked for called his female staff 'girls', there was back and forth with an academic speaking against it (saying that it might be okay in private within a group of good friends, but inappropriate to refer to female employees as girls in a TV interview), and it ended with the 'happy to be one of the girls' woman being asked: "So would you refer to the MP as a boy then?" and her saying, "oh no that would be really inappropriate, he isn't a boy"

The interviewer just let it hang there....and hang there....then said, but you're totally fine with 'girl'.....okaaaaay....

It was great.

Anyone referring to 'girl' or 'girls' around here gets pulled up. We are trying to encourage more women into academia...so demeaning those we have on a regular basis isn't the way forward!

claraschu · 24/03/2017 13:47

sanscomic I think I found your reference to surgeon-boys, though you had a different name. Your husband was ironically referring to his colleagues as "the boys". Totally different situation- I was responding to TedEriksen

It seems clear that lots of people don't admit that "girls" is used in situations where "boys" would never be used.

It is also clear that lots of people don't think this is symbolic of the way that women are perceived in our culture.

A few people have said: "Good point; I never thought of it that way before."

To me, it is obvious what is going on here; unfortunately this sort of argument always makes the mildly sexist (and of course the male Chauvinist pigs) roll their eyes and sneer at the "pettiness".

SansComic · 24/03/2017 14:03

claraschu

Why is ym DH being ironic? For what it's worth, I don't think he's ever said anything about girls, although it wouldn't bother me if he did.

It seems clear that lots of people don't admit that "girls" is used in situations where "boys" would never be used.

It is also clear that lots of people don't think this is symbolic of the way that women are perceived in our culture.

But they're all wrong and haven't read the right literature?

GahBuggerit · 24/03/2017 14:12

Slow hand clap for the pp who took this argument to an elderly bloke in a cancer clinic. Go you Hmm

TedEriksen · 24/03/2017 14:21

claraschu

I don't work in those sectors so don't know. I have heard male engineers, quantity surveyors, vessel masters, site foremen and paramedics referred to as 'boys', though. They're all working class, though...

TedEriksen · 24/03/2017 14:23

Also helicopter pilots, police officers, bus drivers...

claraschu · 24/03/2017 14:26

Hi SansComic so that was you, with a different name?

I just don't think that, as an example, a man who was in a clinic looking for the surgeon would refer to that surgeon as a "boy" (or as a "girl" for that matter). However, lots of people do refer to female bank tellers, for instance, as "girls" but wouldn't refer to male bank tellers as "boys". How people refer to their friends is idiosyncratic, and not really what I am talking about...

This is my experience, and seems pretty straightforward.

It seems to me that we make subtle differences in the way we refer to strangers and acquaintances, based on their sex and the level of authority they have in society.

I haven't read any literature about this (I guess you are implying that I haven't thought of this myself, but have been instructed by someone).

I do think that how we use language is interesting and sheds light on how we think, but I haven't considered this before- it seems kind of like a simple example of mild sexism in society.

claraschu · 24/03/2017 14:32

Interesting TedEricson. do you think that all of these professions have a kind of jovial, all-the-boys-together kind of ethos? You certainly know a lot of people with varied and interesting professions!

I can't imagine referring to any grown person who is a complete stranger as a "boy" or a "girl". If they were friends of mine, I guess I would be about as likely to say "girls" as "boys", and it wouldn't have anything to do with their career choices.