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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think party tea should be provided by the host not the guests?

293 replies

fourteenlittleducks · 21/03/2017 20:48

Or is this a thing now?

Friend's child turning 3. Invitation says to bring a dish instead of a gift.

I've never been to a party where food isn't provided by the host! It seems grabby to get your guests to bring the food with them. The point of birthday gifts is for the child's pleasure, not to save parents the expense of catering!

And I'm dubious about the hygiene aspect.

Or am I just being old fashioned?

OP posts:
irregularegular · 21/03/2017 22:50

I never let DC eat cakes from fete stalls

I find that quite sad. And not usual. I think you may have to accept that you have a quite different perspective from the majority on this.

irregularegular · 21/03/2017 22:51

I'm not liking the sound of a broccoli soup party though. Now that is wrong.

JonesyAndTheSalad · 21/03/2017 22:57

God OP what a misery you sound! If you don't like your child eating random food, bring a plate with a bit of everything on it and feed them only that.

Or chill out.

Sharing food is an important part of community. It's very healthy to do this and to let children participate.

It's a BIG part of many cultures for a reason.

Astro55 · 21/03/2017 22:59

food cooked by strangers

Well make friends! That's why you have parties isn't it?

Only eat the pre packed stuff (from companies who's employees you know personally)

QueenArseClangers · 21/03/2017 22:59

I never let DC eat cakes from fete stalls, let alone food cooked by strangers. I know the host has good standard of hygiene (seen inside her kitchen). I expected the food to be prepared by her or a reputable catering company

Oh OP, you're such a hoot!

Aquahol1 · 21/03/2017 23:07

Take food full of colourings, sugars and E numbers if you really object. No one will ask you to take any food to a party again.

1horatio · 21/03/2017 23:24

Right. Op, I have my own food related issues.
The thought of several fried items in one meal?

However, I'm trying to relaxand not impose my way of eating on others.

What would you do if your DC wants to go to a sleep over? Eat at somebody else's house? Say no? Insist on inspecting their kitchen?

expatinscotland · 21/03/2017 23:33

Bingo! You have some serious food issues, OP. Please unclench before you pass them on to your child.

1horatio · 21/03/2017 23:52

Btw op.

Food issues can manifest in many ways. For me it seems to be mainly about 'health' (well, actually about control). Years of having a diet plan (for athletic reasons) seem to have left me with little sense of what's normal...

Fried food, dairy, simple carbs like pasta and baked good, sugary foods (pudding, fruit juice etc) carefully controlled.

Maybe for you it's not about the kind of food or amount but about the hygiene aspect. That doesn't mean it isn't a disordered attitude about food or the rest of the world in general.

Our children are pretty much at our mercy. We can pass along so many issues.... I really hope you're not just going to reject this comment but try to examine your attitude and feelings.

SuperBeagle · 22/03/2017 00:02

"Bring a plate" is very common in Australia.

I'd be stoked if we were asked to bring a dish instead of bringing a present.

SuperBeagle · 22/03/2017 00:04

I never let DC eat cakes from fete stalls, let alone food cooked by strangers

Talk about sheltered.

Smitff · 22/03/2017 00:07

But what about if everyone turns up with crisps or haribo?? How would this even work?

If there's a spreadsheet, I think it's fine. I'd probably still take the kid a book, but nothing more than that.

Darlink · 22/03/2017 00:08

Food cooked by strangers?

Blimey.

Darlink · 22/03/2017 00:08

Is this real ?

HelpTheTigers · 22/03/2017 00:27

Sounds like a great idea and I hope that it catches on. No need to think about what to buy, if the 3-yr-old will hate it and throw it in the bin instantly in their 'refreshing honesty', how much to spend, whatever.

RiverdaleJughead · 22/03/2017 00:45

are they american? americans do this ....

TheGaleanthropist · 22/03/2017 01:17

You lost me at "by a reputable catering company" OP.

Falafelings · 22/03/2017 06:09

Ah, so we are getting to the root of your personal issue now, which is overcautiousness relating to food and hygiene. Maybe germ-phobia is a personal problem you need help to get over. Sadly it's most likely you'll transmit your hangups to your kids.

Ive attend lots of school events and
social events where parents or groups of friends have made food. Never been ill. Im sure someone somewhere will say they got ill from a school fete iced bun, however the only cases of food poisoning I know of have been relate to cafes/pubs.

Bring something nice but small food wise.

Falafelings · 22/03/2017 06:13

It can work well even if there's no spreadsheet. 30 bowls of crisps is highly unlikely. And even if it did happen, im sure everyone would live.

CasperGutman · 22/03/2017 06:13

But what about if everyone turns up with crisps or haribo?? How would this even work?

I think many three-year-olds would be delighted with this catering, to be honest!

ZogsAnon · 22/03/2017 06:19

Fabulous idea!
I went to a wedding like this once, bring food instead of present. Bigger than the average wedding, lots of children because the happy couple were not restricted by a food budget - one of the best weddings I've ever been too!
In these days of austerity I always think it is such a shame when I see people say 'if you can't afford it - don't invite people'. Even though there is a solution around that. Can only rich people host big parties now?

neweymcnewname · 22/03/2017 06:19

They will soon get invited to parties of kids from nursery/school, where you won't have pre inspected the hosts kitchen - will you stop your child going to anything unless you have?
You're being really judgemental.

SpareASquare · 22/03/2017 06:50

I've never heard of this.

I LOVE the idea Grin

Cannot see a downside tbh.

00100001 · 22/03/2017 07:03

" I never let DC eat cakes from fete stalls, let alone food cooked by strangers."

Fuck me.

and you think the 3 year old who isn't going to receive a fuckton of presents is deprived in some way....

How can you possibly stop your children eating food from "strangers"? I can guarantee they share thier lunch with other kids at school (or will do) and they will eat "strangers" foods at parties all the bloody time - especilaly when you get invited to more and more hall-type parties.

jeez

youarenotkiddingme · 22/03/2017 07:04

I think it sounds genius!

An easy way to have a nice get together for a child's party without hours of prep or plastic tat!