To think party tea should be provided by the host not the guests?

[fourteenlittleducks]

Or is this a thing now?

Friend's child turning 3. Invitation says to bring a dish instead of a gift.

I've never been to a party where food isn't provided by the host! It seems grabby to get your guests to bring the food with them. The point of birthday gifts is for the child's pleasure, not to save parents the expense of catering!

And I'm dubious about the hygiene aspect.

Or am I just being old fashioned?

I can see the advantages of potluck parties. Catering to specific dietary requirements, trying new dishes, everyone chipping in to spare host time and expense. Can see it working well if that's the norm amongst your group of friends.

But I can't get past the notion of not feeding guests at all. Especially if you regularly attend parties where all food and drink is provided.

Interesting POVs 🙂

But I can't get past the notion of not feeding guests at all

I personally assumed there would still be a birthday cake or something? I may be wrong...

It does involve a lot of work in the kitchen though, op, and making sure you return all the dishes to their rightful owners.
And I expect they will definitely make their own contribution as they don't know what their guests are bringing. As well as the cake of course.
As for the cost to the guests, the idea is that it's instead of the £10 for a present.

Honestly, if you're feeling ripped off, then don't go - and especially don't go with a catsbum.

For what it's worth, I could knock up 30 decent cheese sandwich triangles for well under £2.

I bet the host provides a lot of food, maybe even the majority. I bet this is mainly a device to avoid getting lots of gifts

What if someone is on a tight budget and doesn't have food to spare? Or feels awkward because they can only afford to bring a packet of cheap biscuits?

If you're friends (or, actually, just if you're nice people), it won't matter what anyone brings. Someone upthread said 'a lot of my friends are v poor, and I would rather they brought themselves and a bag of crisps', and I think this is the nicest attitude.

In my experience of potluck parties (they can also be called 'bring and share'), there has always been a lot more than enough food to go round. So if there are a couple of people who come with very little that isn't a problem at all.

I'm involved in a lot of potlucks and IME it is the same people who bring an actual "meal" dish every time. It is the people who bring a packet of biscuits every time who are up at the table before the tin foil is off. They aren't strapped for cash or time, they just can't be bothered and know that others will do it. That starts to grate after a while. I much prefer to pay per head and get outside catering (even something very simple) or keep it to tea and biscuits.

Oh yes and the cheeky potluckers often bring empty containers and fill them before everyone has eaten!

What if someone is on a tight budget and doesn't have food to spare? Or feels awkward because they can only afford to bring a packet of cheap biscuits?

Well they'd feel the exact same about a present, wouldn't they, except worse. You can knock up a cake with a cheapo mix for under a quid, easily.

I think this is a great idea. At least parents know there will be at least one thing their child can eat. Great for those children with allergies too. Lots of variety so all good.

you should bring enough to share with everyone

No you don't - you bring enough for 6 people - that way each 6 'shares' because you only small amounts on your plate - a few sandwiches and few crisps and biscuits - God it only a tea party

Is the six shares a rule? I've never heard of that. If that is the case it is hardly very inclusive? In a party only 6 out of the 30 get to try each thing? In my adults potluck that would go rather Lird of the Flies.

*Lord

Bring and share is very popular round here although I've not done it for a dcs party. For me it's about saying we all want to get together as friends but share the stress of catering.

Tonight I'm having some friends over and we're getting takeaway. By this standard I should pay for everyone's food when in reality when we do this everyone pays for theirs then usually shares it. I can't imagine making a thing of this.

Not a rule and guide 30 people bringing enough food for 6 people is more than enough

Can you imagine 30 people bringing enough for 30 people!!

So one brings bread sticks another cheese another dips another crackers another Doritos and your covered
Another group bring cakes 6x6 cakes is 36 cakes

Same with 6 packets of biscuits - more than enough to go round -

It's don't like that for school Christmas parties

That sounds like an organized assigned BAS though, where the "groups" are told what to bring. That works well for schools/offices/close friends, but for 30 party child invitees unless you email a spreadsheet I can't really see how that would work successfully.

We do it at church- never know who is coming or what they will bring but always have plenty and a good balance of sweet and savoury. It's really chilled with a great stress-free feel.