Which of these mothers is being unreasonable?

[BillSykesDog]

I'm none of these mothers btw. They are friends, situation is:

Three 11 yo primary school girls. Have done their bike safety course so are being allowed out to practice road cycling around their quiet residential streets in a London suburb. They have a very clearly defined area they must stay within. Only one of the girls, M has taken her mobile and that has no credit on it so is only receiving incoming calls.

They come to the end of the area they are allowed to cycle in. M says she wants to continue on the main road, where they are not supposed to go because she wants to visit tha McDonald's in the next suburb a good 15 mins cycle away. The other two girls K and R say they are not allowed and won't go. M tries to persuade them. They still say no. M says even if they don't go she is going anyway and they mustn't tell on her.

K and R go to K's home but are looking very obviously worried so the story comes out pretty quickly. K's Mum calls M's mother to tell her that her daughter had gone off to McDonalds. M's mother calls M who is now at McDonalds, she tells her that she must not try to cycle back, M says she doesn't think she can manage it anyway.

M's Mum then calls K's Mum and asks her if K's Mum will drive and pick M up. M's Mum is at home on her own without a car and with a six month old baby. She will need to make a ten minute walk and then a 10 min bus ride to get to McDonald's under her own steam. K's Mum refuses to drive and pick M up because she is busy and has plans and says M needs to sort her daughter out herself.

M thinks it is dangerous for her daughter to be waiting alone in the McDonalds for that length of time. She thinks that problem has arisen because K and R went home instead of sticking with M and left her on her own so it is partly K's fault the situation has occurred and K's mother should drive to collect her for that reason. K's mother still refuses to pick her up.

Which mother do you think is being unreasonable in this situation?

I'm glad to hear M's mum has apologized to K's mum. That would not have been easy, but it was the grown up thing to do.

I hope things settle with the girls and M's family.

" but at the same time beating myself up for not helping out someone in need. "

I do understand that, but it's not as if K's mum was the only person who could help in this situation.

I think that M's mum was too bound up in thinking (for some strange reason) that the parents of the kids involved must help.

Although that doesn't seem to have applied to the other set of parents.

In fact it was just a case of daughter needed help & anyone could have supplied that-a bike carrying car seeming to be the requirement!

If this really is a true story it is pretty identifying!

Only to a handful of people, and just normal childhood/parenting issues, I wouldn't feel upset if I were involved and read it. Maybe a bit embarrassed if I were M's mom, but it was all resolved in a caring and positive way...it is a bit of a good example of it taking a village to raise a child.

The selfishness of some posters here astounds me.

Good outcome, it's a difficult situation. 11 year old girls are just trying out their independence. I can kind of see why a trip to McDonalds would seem like an awesome idea. So i kind of blame McDonalds, for being irresistible to 11 year olds

And yes, even grown, educational women can sometimes lose the plot and fire on all cylinders on social media when wound up, right or wrong, and then regret it.

Sorry I disagree most people would never, ever do this. I would absolutely judge anyone who did/ does.

But we are all a mixture of good and bad features, even the MN posters who pretend to be perfect and reasonable in all circumstances. Their negative aspect is 'deluded'.