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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the result of this rape trial is disgusting

999 replies

joystir59 · 17/03/2017 20:48

Man gets off completely Scot=free for raping a 12 year old girl, and that this result gives such a wrong message to men, in a world in which girls are never considered too young anyway. I'm enraged!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-39305042

OP posts:

BabychamSocialist · 18/03/2017 16:33

UpdateRequired

Sorry, I don't think my message came across in the right way. I wasn't trying to victim blame - because she is a victim here, obviously.

I meant more like that if my 12 year old was out wandering the streets and I had no clue where they were, I'd see that as a failing in my parenting. We shouldn't have to educate 12 year olds on things like this because at the end of the day they're children. As I said somewhere else on the thread, they sometimes have to be protected from themselves.

It just made me wonder if the parents are on the scene at all or if they're known to social services. If they are on the scene and they're not known to social services, I think they should be. Is it not against the law to let your 12 year old out to wander the streets at night?

Pseudonym99 · 18/03/2017 16:35

Yes, the parents of the teenage boy should be prosecuted for this. Their son was clearly let down by them. They did not instruct him properly on consent when it comes to sex and have let him down badly. I'm not being sarcastic.

But he did it by the book, and he still got caught out. He believed he had consent. Should everyone who is about to have sex with someone (including women) be asking for photo ID and a birth certificate before having sex now?

PlectrumElectrum · 18/03/2017 16:42

But he did it by the book

He had sex with someone he didn't know, who he just met & had no way to know for certain that she was as old as she claimed. Is it a mysterious unknown quantity this phenomenon of young girls dressing & pretending to be older than they are? Is this scenario a shocking unexpected possibility that was missing from the 'book' you refer to?

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:44

All young people are asked for ID when entering a club and when buying alcohol Pseudonym. Or do you think this is an impingement on their rights?

He did it by the book, and he still got caught out

Unbelievable. You actually think that?

UpdateRequired · 18/03/2017 16:45

But it's not always down to crap parenting or kids in care. The issue is much bigger than that. Plenty 'good' girls from nice MC backgrounds end up in trouble for all sorts of reasons, MH issues for starters. Teens are very good at lies and deceit. I actually think the 'blame' if you want, lies with our whole society and the way girls are viewed in general, as is evident on this thread. We know girls are reaching puberty earlier and earlier so the whole looking older thing isn't going away, it's only going to become more of an issue. As the mother of a son I will be making damn sure he's aware of the consequences of 'guessing' a girls age.

RJnomore1 · 18/03/2017 16:46

If they weren't before, a 12 year old who thought she was pregnant would mean the family becoming known to social work.

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:47

Trifle

What would you have discussed with him?

Do it by the book mate and you won't get caught out? Oh wait!

southall · 18/03/2017 16:47

He is the adult and she is the child.

He would be in the wrong 999 times out a 1000. No doubt about it.

But this is one of those 1 in 1000 case where it isnt so black and white.

This is a case about a confident and street smart 12 year old who can pass for 20.

She fooled everyone and she deceived him about her age. He is now suffering because of that deception.

This is why the judge did not punish him any further.

Some will say he deserves it for not being careful enough but i don't think it so easy to judge what happened unless you know all the facts of the case.

Trifleorbust · 18/03/2017 16:47

Elendon:

How did he not do it 'by the book'?

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:48

So girls are reaching puberty earlier and earlier now are they?

Since when did this happen?

Blame is on the rapist. Let's focus on men who rape.

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:49

Trifle - perhaps you could answer that. You seem to know the answer.

BabychamSocialist · 18/03/2017 16:50

PlectrumElectrum

See, I think the issue with your view on this is that you're being quite puritanical about the very act of sex in the first place. Like the very thought of sex with a stranger disgusts you in the first place. It's a good job you're not a judge or lawyer, as you have to be able to see things the way the law does - casual anonymous sex is not illegal with someone over the age of consent, who is able to give consent.

I think if we were to teach our kids that one night stands are completely wrong in any context we'd be straying into the territory that religions use to oppress people.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 18/03/2017 16:51

So girls are reaching puberty earlier and earlier now are they?

Yes actually they are.

UpdateRequired · 18/03/2017 16:51

Yes they are, physically. There's loads of research on this if you care to investigate. An increase in childhood obesity is believed to be one of the reasons

SmileEachDay · 18/03/2017 16:52

spring painting the child in this case as some sort of Lolita is disgusting.

She is a child.

Trifleorbust · 18/03/2017 16:52

Elendon: I was asking you.

Mammylamb · 18/03/2017 16:53

Yabu. Everything about the circumstances of how she met him, and how she appeared; it was completely reasonable that he thought she was 16. He was a 19year old at the time. Poor guy probably ruined his life. And poor 12 year old; obviously she is not being properly looked after

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:53

Trifle refuses to answer because Trifle likes to think that doing things by the book is the solution to everything.

Perhaps Trifle could answer this.

What do women and girls need to do to keep themselves safe by doing things by the book? Trifle

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 18/03/2017 16:54

in the 1920's puberty in girls started at an average age of 14.6, now it's 10 years.

HandbagCrab · 18/03/2017 16:55

If as an adult you choose to have sex with people who tell you they are 16 you run the risk they're lying and they're younger. You can choose to have sex with people who are demonstrably older instead and then this won't happen. He could have let these girls get in their taxi and go home instead he invited them back and had sex with a 12 year old he thought, but did not know was 16.

Trifleorbust · 18/03/2017 16:55

Elendon:

That's not an answer.

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:55

Mammylamb How is a 12 year old girl needed to be looked after?

What does this child need to do to look after herself?

What do teenage girls need to do to look after themselves?

What's 'the book'?

BabychamSocialist · 18/03/2017 16:55

Yes, as a teacher I can tell your girls (and lads, but less-so) are reaching puberty earlier and earlier. I'm teaching 13 year olds - and younger - who could easily pass as a school-leaver if you didn't know.

I first noticed it about 10 years ago. I'd love to see a study done on why this is happening, there must be some sort of reason behind it.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 18/03/2017 16:56

And if you are black it's 8 years.

Elendon · 18/03/2017 16:56

Trifle

Answer my question. Then we will discuss.

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