Fuck me. Do know OP I had a relative do this to me. They turned up 30 minutes early for a weekend visit. I had just got in from work and had planned to clean the bathroom when I got in - but they arrived.
So we socialised, we chatted, we ate. I forgot to whizz a cloth around the bathroom (which wasn't that bad tbh).
Said relative seemed to have a lovely time. We had a lovely time. And then, when he got home he phoned my parents and bitched and complained that he had never felt "so unwelcome in his life" because the bathroom wasn't spotless.
It escalated. Now the whole family is NC with him because he was fucking out of order
So are you.
Oh, and you have no idea how much anxiety I now have EVERY TIME WE HAVE GUESTS because of twattish behaviour like his and yours.