To think this is my job, not dh's mates.

[CatThiefKeith]

Dh has been faffing about what he wants to do for his birthday on Saturday for weeks. Yesterday he finally decided he just wanted to go down the local.

He's a bit disappointed because half the pub had already made plans to go to a boxing match, so once he was asleep I sent out a fb invite to loads of our friends saying I knew it was short notice but if they could make it that's where we'd be.

Then I got the following messages from dh's best mate. Who is a twat

Hi ya
As far as Saturday goes we're on the same page
I thought also that xxx would want people to pop in n see him for his birthday so I did the same
Assuming you would be by his side and so he didn't find out I didn't tell you
Hope that's not too imposing ? But just wanted you guys to turn up and people be out for him
Iv sorted a little cake balloons banners but also put a little gentle twist on his decor too
Really hope you don't mind and glad we're both on the same page or wave length x

Is it me or is that overstepping the boundaries a bit?

Sounds like a great mate to me!

Sounds like a bromance fo' sho' !

It's nice. Not many male friends would do anything like that. At least they've messaged you. You could have turned up to another set of balloons cake etc.

No, that's fine. He did a nice thing for his mate.

I think it's sweet!

That's really nice!

I think it's nice that he had friends that care. However it's odd not to tell you, as you could have arranged something that didn't involve you popping into the pub and so friend's arrangements could be wasted.

Is the friend male or female?

If I'm 100% honest I'd be a tiny bit peeved that his mate hadn't mentioned it to me first but I do think it's a nice thing to do

I would be thrilled with this. What a lovely considerate friend.

I agree he could have tipped you off he was doing it but he sees you both as a package.

I'd respond with a lovely note and withdraw the Facebook invite.

It's lovely

He sounds like a good mate.YABU.

I'm in the It's a nice thing to do but he should have mentioned it camp.

When was he going to tell you and dh?! What if you'd have decided to go for s mesl instead because everyone at boxing?

Aside from that, it is a bit imposing but I don't think it's too harmful. This close to the day msybe he thought you weren't doing anything for your dh. I'd probably be happy your dh will be able to celebrate with mates and it's nice he has got mates who organise a cake & balloons etc.

Next year, get in earlier!

I do think it's a little imposing. What if you had just wanted to go for a meal together?

Can't see the problem. Unless there's something you didn't mention, it sounds like you're pissed off because you don't like this friend, rather than because of what he has done.

I can sort of see why you're a bit put out, but his mate was obviously just trying to be nice. Nothing in his message suggests it was done with malice. Enjoy not having to organise anything but arrange something earlier next year if that's what you want to do

He sounds nice, that's a kind thing to do for a friend.
Probably should have mentioned it though just in case you'd arranged something else

What a nice thing to have arranged. Sharing a birthday with friends is what it's all about.

Sounds great to me. He should have kept your more in the loop but as he said he knew u would be going. He's a lovely friend

Get him a little banner and cake at home so he has the one from you first

Yes,the fact you think his mate is a twat says a lot about why you are pissed off.

I don't think it's that bad....at least he made an effort. It's a bit over keen but personally I wouldn't care.

Yabu. I am going to assume he had already agreed to go to the pub before he told you.

He wasn't faffing. His mate wasnt running the risk of him not turning up.

I dont think organising s birthday surpruse is right of a spouse.

He sounds nice.

It's just you.

He sounds like a great friend.