To think this is my job, not dh's mates.

[CatThiefKeith]

Dh has been faffing about what he wants to do for his birthday on Saturday for weeks. Yesterday he finally decided he just wanted to go down the local.

He's a bit disappointed because half the pub had already made plans to go to a boxing match, so once he was asleep I sent out a fb invite to loads of our friends saying I knew it was short notice but if they could make it that's where we'd be.

Then I got the following messages from dh's best mate. Who is a twat

Hi ya
As far as Saturday goes we're on the same page
I thought also that xxx would want people to pop in n see him for his birthday so I did the same
Assuming you would be by his side and so he didn't find out I didn't tell you
Hope that's not too imposing ? But just wanted you guys to turn up and people be out for him
Iv sorted a little cake balloons banners but also put a little gentle twist on his decor too
Really hope you don't mind and glad we're both on the same page or wave length x

Is it me or is that overstepping the boundaries a bit?

Personally I'd go up to Prick a the event and say something along the lines of "Great job (lie if necessary! ), you're lucky though as we had arranged a surprise for him which fell through! If you decide to do something again just check with me, I may have something planned already". If he asks why you were asking DH what he wanted to do then tell him it was to keep the surprise.

I'd be thrilled my other half has such lovely mates

I think he's got loads of '40' themed balloons etc and it's a 'hilarious' dig at your dp being old.

Hmmm, it is a nice thing for him to have done, but reading between the lines he's being pathetically territorial. You've posted about him before, haven't you?

Great idea about him being the birthday elf. I've just messaged to say is the cake a Victoria sponge as it's dh's favourite and I promised to get him one for his birthday.

Got back:

Iv not bought it yet so go for it x

I wonder if he's bought the banners and balloons yet. Fuck knows what the twist on decor is. I hope it's not his decks!

foxache oh yes, but not for ages.

The way he has phrased indicates to me you may have something of a rep as being very sensitive and a bit volatile!

I think it's really lovely of him

On its own, this just seems a bit weird but well meaning, but I guess that there is a backstory here?

I'd probably clarify with him what a "twist on the decor" means - otherwise you might have a stripper turn up halfway through!

Straight talking and assertive perhaps. Not volatile though. I imagine he planned it to be a fait accomplis and is now frantically back pedalling as he knows I will call him out on it.

My plan is to crack up laughing about how he 'forgot' to invite me, and how sweet it is that he's got such a big man crush on dh that he wanted him all to himself, every time I possibly can.

Sounds to me like he was hoping to make it a "lads' night out" and exclude you as well, tbh.

foxache I think it's more that I haven't posted much for ages. I used to be here all the time, but most newer posters have never heard-of me. To reveal any backstory now would seem like a massive drop feed, bit plenty of old timers will remember the selling of my patio and the crowd funded baby I'm sure

Well it's obvious from your posts that you dislike your DH's friend so whatever he did would be wrong according to you wouldn't it. I don't see the problem although he should have probably mentioned it to you.

I wonder what heinous crime he committed for you to refer to him as the Prick? Not in retaliation for him calling you the Cunt I hope.

Rorty you sound lovely. Let's be friends. What are you doing Saturday night?

Iv sorted a little cake balloons banners but also put a little gentle twist on his decor too

Iv not bought it yet so go for it x

So he lied.

As a newer MNer - PLEASE drip feed and tell us about (or link to) the patio and crowd funded baby!

CTK i know you in RL and even i don't know the patio baby crowd surfing stories. I demand you tell me!

So he lied.

To be scrupulously fair he may have meant that he'd talked to the pub and got their ok for those things, not that they were physically in his possession

Fair enough, MargaretCavendish.

I'll admit I just don't like the sound of him.

He send up a gofund me page for ivf, then spent the money on dj equipment and had to get a loan instead. Prior to that he got shitty because we hadn't donated to the fund. Glad we didn't now.

And he had a BBQ so borrowed patio sets from all and sundry. Mine were only 3 months old, he forgot who lent what and someone else had said he should keep theirs. He sold mine instead of theirs!

I am lovely - no can do Saturday night - have a date with the Prick

You calling me an old timer, Keith?

Definitely worth taking the piss as much as you can- bromance/man-crush and suchlike. Obviously in a funny/jokey way. And if he makes reference to dh being 40 then it's just going to make him look like the prat he is.

Is he hoping to get something out of arranging this, financially or otherwise?

Bloody hell! I am agog.

Why on earth is DH still friends with him? He's stolen frofrom you twice! Tibet he didn't get those sets mixed up - just meant he got goods AND money. And the IVF thing is fraud!

I bet, not Tibet!

To the ivf and patio set stories. I assume you won't be chipping in to help with cost of the cake and decor which he may or may not have bought.