To have cried in the pub toilet

[roarityroar]

Because a man I don't know at the bar said "oh wow, you look just like Bridget Jones!"?

I'm 28 and not that it matters a size 8. I've had a hugely difficult week and felt quite confident today and now I feel crushed and stupid and fat and disgusting.

Sorry, OP, hope you are ok.
All the things that you have been through, don't let what a random person in a pub said break you.
I'm sure it was meant as a compliment and sometimes people just say things without meaning.
His girlfriend probably laughed because it was a random thing for him to say so it was a laugh at him sort of response, not laughing at you or what he said. I'm sure they have both forgotten about it and would be mortified if they knew how it upset you.
Forget about it, have a drink (non alcoholic as you don't drink) and something small to eat to settle your stomach and I'm sure you will feel better.
Your week has been truly shit but there are better days to be had.

Ps- you are a wee thing, plenty of years to be had before the term 'spinster' needs to be joked about

Head on over to the "rude comments" thread. You're not alone and don't have to take it as a compliment just because others say thats what it was.

Agreed, Fauchevalent

I w the first bj film with my then bf, afterwards I mentioned how she had to put on weight for the film, and he was amazed. He Just thought she was gorgeous.

But op, Try to find something to feel positive about, because ime , whatever you put your focus on grows.

When I was younger than you, numerous people told me I looked like Mrs. Doyle from Father Ted 😂

In more recent years it's been Bernadette from TBBT. Pretty certain I haven't changed much in all those years.

People sometimes say the strangest things though. Usually without thinking about it either.

Be kind to yourself and try to eat something else even small to keep your energy levels up and help with recovery.

I "boasted" of owning a flat at my age because I wasn't sure about whether I could go through with the termination.

I bought a flat because I lived abroad and worked 100+ hours per week.

You're right, I spoke about not being sure about the father. The same one who I've now found out has been screwing around like it's going out of fashion.

It sounds like a compliment, but a lot if men should learn that not every woman is looking for their "feedback".

Sorry you've had such a shit time of it.

user1471429763 if you have nothing better to do than trawl through someone's past posts to put them down, then I suggest you fuck off. As others have said, this is not a game of top trumps.

User with all due respect we don;t know that the OP isn't at rock bottom either. Having a termination could cause someone to feel suicidal too. Let us not assume things

NavyandWhite, I respectfully disagree. Trauma and mental health issues are subjective to the person suffering from them, and how does it hurt to be comapssionate to everyone who is hurting in some way? I'm not saying you aren't being compassionate. I just don't get how one can decide something is worthy of feeling down about? people feel suicidal because they are depressed usually, it has a lot to do with physiological issues as well as life circumstsances. some people with small problems get suicidally depressed. we don't help them any less, do we???

I have had to spend my whole life having ahd my trauma and MH issues minimised because "others have far worse things going on." Be that as it may, i took on board those minimisations and it almost killed me. Because my life isn't about other peoples' trauma, it is about how we deal with our own. I have to take responsibility for ME. Loving ourselves and not minimising our own issues helps us develop empathy for others. At least that is what I have found. It is not a competition. We have al suffered to some degree in this life.Whether others have suffered more or less is not relevant. apologies for the long lecture....

Good morning,

I've read back through the last 50 posts or so which was tricky given my relative hangover (2 glasses of wine when I don't really drink, oops) and am amazed by the humour and support from so many strangers.

Thank you, very much. I feel better today. If anything this whole situ has inspired me to either volunteer more or start being more active on women's issues in another way because the fact that one bloody man could hurt me so much with one comment - no matter how crappy I felt before - is bollocks frankly.

keema especially your comment made me smile and believe a little more that I'm not a total waste of oxygen.

I hope BBC gets the help he/she needs. Best of luck.

Oh Good

My hangover recommendation: 2 cups of tea, one after the other. Berocca, fry-up.

Great idea. Just been for an 8k run and have a yoga class this evening.

Hmm, that puts my cure in the shade

I'm glad you're feeling better today OP, I apologise if I came across as harsh or blunt to you yesterday.

I did your cure in two stages - double tea, run then a massive fry up with extra black pudding.

I exercise like a beast because I cannot calorie count without slipping into my patterns. I've decided to go and see my lovely father for lunch and write a list of things I'm grateful for. In a few week I'm heading on a yoga retreat abroad on my own to boost my confidence. I've also just taken on more responsibilities at work. Any other tips to help me grow / grow up so bitchy comments in bars/online don't get to me?

Thank you again for all the amusement and support

That sounds great op.
Enjoy your lunch!
As an aside, I have a face like a spot welders bench 😀 but my Dh and dc think I'm perfect most of the time
One of the great things about being menopausal is the sense of freedom I feel now...I really have a zero tolerance for bullshit of ANY kind.
Life's to short. It really is.
I hope you have a super time on your retreat.
Take care
X

Try and realise that the comment (if it is meant to be bitchy- Bridget jones sounds like a compliment to me- not that it's any stranger's place to comment on your appearance ) says more about the commentator than you.
I am tall, in my younger days I had men say I looked like a transvestite and all sorts...and every single one of them was smaller than me and fucked up by society's expectations of what a man should be.
Every woman that has said something nasty to me have been revealing desperate insecurities of their own or displaying values I wouldn't wish to have.
On a lighter note, when my son was a toddler he pointed at pictures of Bill Bailey and Jesus and identified them as Mummy!

I'm in awe with the whole yoga and run thing.

I can't really offer more advice as I usually have the hide of a rhino when someone makes a crappy remark, but have found thats come with age rather than any cleverness.

Enjoy your lunch, enjoy your retreat. Be kind to yourself and if all else fails, stick pins in something

defineme that made me giggle thank you.

I'm back home with my dad having a lovely time and determined to be stronger going forward.

I actually went on a self development retest thing recently where we beat up pillows with bats and it was very useful; I might try to find a place I can do that without scaring people!

So much love keema and bladders you're bloody brilliant to make a stranger online smile through your words, I hope you appreciate that talent and have wonderful weekends.

NavyandWhite Yeah, having been where BBCNewsRave is I felt uncomfortable too. The thing is, the BJ comment may be a small thing but the OP has had huge trauma in her life which IS comparable to BBCNewsRave's and my own.