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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To have cried in the pub toilet

235 replies

roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:20

Because a man I don't know at the bar said "oh wow, you look just like Bridget Jones!"?

I'm 28 and not that it matters a size 8. I've had a hugely difficult week and felt quite confident today and now I feel crushed and stupid and fat and disgusting.

OP posts:
Original poster
roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:30

This has made me want to curl up and disappear

OP posts:
namechange20050 · 11/03/2017 16:32

This reply has been deleted

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Groovee · 11/03/2017 16:32

I think AIBU is the wrong board because of how you are feeling.

Original poster
roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:32

carefreeeee Grin that made me smile thank you.

I am the mirror image of the girl from Revenge. In some photos my own friends have to check:

OP posts:
carefreeeee · 11/03/2017 16:32

No offence but the problem is not that Bridget is fat or unattractive, the problem is your perception which does not match most other peoples'.

Take it as a compliment. If he wanted to be rude he could've said someone much worse.

triskele · 11/03/2017 16:32

Jesus woman get a grip.

In the new film she's tiny anyway.

NavyandWhite · 11/03/2017 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iamastonished · 11/03/2017 16:32

Flowers Sorry you have had a bad week, but honestly I would have seen that as a compliment. I think because you are feeling down about yourself you have taken it the wrong way.

I bet you aren't chubby at all.

Gazelda · 11/03/2017 16:33

Wow, you have had a shit week Flowers.
Please believe everyone on here that it was almost certainly meant as a compliment.
That doesn't mean you don't feel rubbish. Were you with friends? Are you with anyone now? You could probably do with someone giving you a hug right now.
But honestly, most women would be flattered to be compared to RZ, so try not to let it upset you.

Funnyonion17 · 11/03/2017 16:33

Have u seen Renée recently? She's slimmed right down and i think facially she's pretty?

If he meant it as a stupid mam dare thing or negging then he's an idiot. She's beautiful

FinallyHere · 11/03/2017 16:33

The question to ask yourself is why the thoughts of a random stranger has such an impact on you.

Perhaps take some time to build up your own sense of worth, so that such remarks (rightly) don't have any impact on you. Recipe for a happy life.

Original poster
roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:33

Thanks name change. Really fucking helpful.

I can handle the other stuff. I wanted an outside perspective on whether or not it's an offensive comment so I could give myself a talking to because my own boundaries/self esteem are currently up the spout:

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 11/03/2017 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FinallyHere · 11/03/2017 16:35

Just seen your update, sorry you have had such a hard time. The advice, to build your own self worth, is even more important. All the very best.

TwentyCups · 11/03/2017 16:35

OP I understand how you feel. It's not about whether RZ is attractive, or thin, or fat or old or young. It's particularly horrible having your appearance commented on or compared to other women when you are in recovery. Speaking as a recovered ED sufferer who is a barmaid the comments on weight and appearance can be so hard to handle.

The onus should not be on you to interpret the comment as positive rather than negative - the onus is on men at bars to keep their comments to themselves.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 11/03/2017 16:35

Sorry you've been through such a difficult time OP.
Bridget Jones is really lovely, chubby or not.
It was definitely meant as a compliment.
💐 For you Lovely.

Original poster
roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:35

Thank you to everyone who has been so kind.

I meditate a lot, my self esteem is solid usually, but after hearing that right now when I am doubting everything about myself. I just wanted a place to voice it and ask if I was reasonable to feel upset by it.

OP posts:
Original poster
roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:36

Thank you twenty I couldn't agree more

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haveacupoftea · 11/03/2017 16:36

Maybe the pub is not the place for you right now Flowers

If it helps some arsehole called me fatty in the pub one night Angry he was a fat ugly turd himself and I often think of how I should have pointed that out to him.

PoorYorick · 11/03/2017 16:36

The original Bridget Jones was early 30s and not overweight (she was never much over nine stone). She simply wasn't a size 8 Hollywood supermodel and that's one reason we all loved her. She was also attractive enough to have men who looked like Colin Firth and Hugh Grant fighting over her (I know that didn't happen in the book but they did both want her, even if Cleaver was a bastard).

She was played by a Hollywood beauty who became a bit curvier and dressed from the high street. Gorgeous.

Topseyt · 11/03/2017 16:36

I'd have thought it was a compliment.

Seriously, I would be over the moon if somebody likened me to Bridget Jones. Instead, the reality is that I am an overweight 50 year old.

I highly doubt that anyone was out to cause upset. Why would it?

BeaderBird · 11/03/2017 16:37

BJ is incredibly beautiful.

memyselfandaye · 11/03/2017 16:38

When I was 18 and got my own first passport my dad said I looked like Myra Hindley.

I told him to fuck off.

NotYoda · 11/03/2017 16:38

roary

NEVER voice upset on AIBU. That's my advice

finagler · 11/03/2017 16:38

You are not reasonable to be upset that a random man paid you what he undoubtedly thought was a compliment.

You are totally reasonable to be upset about the week you've had.