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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To have cried in the pub toilet

235 replies

roarityroar · 11/03/2017 16:20

Because a man I don't know at the bar said "oh wow, you look just like Bridget Jones!"?

I'm 28 and not that it matters a size 8. I've had a hugely difficult week and felt quite confident today and now I feel crushed and stupid and fat and disgusting.

OP posts:
ImBackOnHereAgain · 12/03/2017 15:34

To both OP and BBCNewsRave I hope today is going better for you both and that you both find things in your life to help ease the pain. It can take a long time to even begin to heal and I am still in this process now, with no end in sight visible as yet. Cake and Flowers to you both

roarityroar · 12/03/2017 18:44

Thanks imback

While I'm sorry that BBC was having a bad time I still think he/she shouldn't have had a go at me. The poster has been coherent and seemed ok on many other threads.

OP posts:
BBCNewsRave · 13/03/2017 16:11

FGS OP
You started a thread asking if it was unreasonable to be upset about being compared to a beautiful woman. Ridiculous post, basically.

You go on to say she's "the archetypal overweight, chain smoking pathetic, needy spinster". Charming. You claim you don't judge other like that, but if that were true, you'd have said you felt pathetic/worried about being single etc. To which I would have been sympathetic. But no, you referred to a "type", which shows you make sweeping judgements of other women too, for not living up to your weird ideas of perfection.

And you wonder why someone who's struggling with suicidal thoughts and trauma is horribly triggered by that? Someone who is older than you, single, and doesn't have a good job like Bridget Jones, or yourself?

I am very sorry you've had a rough week, but perhaps you shuld have posted about that, instead of opening your thread with offensive comments about "types" of women.

I understand that people can have a nice life and still feel depressed - after all we're both very priviledged compared to those in the world without running water and so on - but there is a big difference between actually saying what you're sad about and slagging off other women because in your judgemental mind you think it so dreadful to be like them!

And then you decide to come and stick the boot in again. Why's that then? Does it make you feel better to look down your nose at people without jobs, without owning homes, who can't access the support you got?

Oh, and if you've been looking up my posts you'd see your unpleasant comments about needy spinsters actually triggered me for quite a while until I was able to write coherantly again. I was already in a bad way, and browsing MN for some light relief! Generally if someone made the comments you did about spinsters they'd get their arse handed to them on a plate!

I'm very sorry you've had such a dreadful week, but please don't take it out on others.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 13/03/2017 16:38

For me, personally, I think that if I'm going through any kind of mental or emotional trauma, it's far better to search for RL options (not always easy, I know), than to ask AIBU. It's not always kind, nor empathetic and when we feel low, those are the exact qualities we need in others. It's crap because the waiting lists for counselling can take months - and even then, you can't be guaranteed you'll be placed with someone you can open up to.

NotYoda · 13/03/2017 17:00

roarity

If you doubt a posters veracity or believe they have been abusive, then you must report to MNHQ. What you are doing now is unhelpful.

KeemaNaan · 13/03/2017 17:31

I'm very sorry you've had such a dreadful week, but please don't take it out on others.

Excellent advice BBC, I hope you can follow it too.

PoorYorick · 13/03/2017 18:29

We should of course always be decent in our interactions with people but at the end of the day, internet strangers cannot act as doctors or mental health professionals.

Bluewombler2k · 13/03/2017 19:17

I got told I looked like Cherie Blair...by Jim Davidson...wanker

KeemaNaan · 13/03/2017 20:40

Jim Davidson is a renowned wanker.

TheImprobableGirl · 13/03/2017 20:53

I was 14 and showing off my new pixie hair cut when my best friend said with the most innocent face-oh you look just like jimmy Carr! I so did too! (I am female and was a bit of a chunk in the face Grin)

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