To have cried in the pub toilet

[roarityroar]

Because a man I don't know at the bar said "oh wow, you look just like Bridget Jones!"?

I'm 28 and not that it matters a size 8. I've had a hugely difficult week and felt quite confident today and now I feel crushed and stupid and fat and disgusting.

Head on over to the "rude comments" thread. You're not alone and don't have to take it as a compliment just because others say thats what it was.

Things like this can be really tough especially when you're in recovery but i do hope it doesn't stall your progress.

Well thank for making me feel shite OP. I'm 31, single, larger than you (healthy weight, thought I was ok but nice to know I'm a pathetic spinster!), have never been in a "proper" LTR that wasn't abusive and unlike you haven't been able to access counselling for my own traumatic past.

Thanks a fucking bunch.

My mum once rang me to tell me I look like Noel Fielding.

Bridget jones is fine!

Fuck em. Let them go home and have a big, alcohol - fuelled barney because he spoke to you at the bar. I know it's super tough, but try to remember that nothing anyone says to you can hurt you, unless you let it. Takes a hell of a lot of self-training to let hurtful remarks bounce off you, but you'll get there. You definitely need to talk to other people - I've been repeatedly called stupid and thick by my ex, and at times, it's really got to me and I've almost believed it. I'm inclined to suspect the girlfriend made some bitchy , jealous comment about you and this was his miserable attempt to impress her. What a lovely couple.

OP you're coming across as a bit weird now, you're 28 FFS.

Oh, and I've been unemployed for years due to my mental health too. Bet you haven't - clearly I should just kill myself now.

BBC well done for coming on to a thread where I'm in bits and looking for kindness and words of support and making it about you.

I'm sorry you've had a hard time and can't access the services you need. I had mine through my local crisis team after trying to kill myself twice in succession two years ago. I wouldn't recommend that as a route to help, but thanks.

bona To be fair, Noel Fielding is pretty hot and quite feminine. Jo Brand, not so much.

It was a compliment.

I was once told I look like Barry from EastEnders.

Marty Feldman

Ah, don't worry about it OP. I remember looking in the mirror with my new excellent Morrissey style glasses on, and noting I looked like Austin Powers. I had a frilly scarf thing going on, which resembled a cravat, paired with a velvet jacket. I fucking love those glasses!

They'd have meant it as a compliment. Don't let a random comment make you feel more crap, in a time where you're already feeling vulnerable.

"ADish - we all make judgments about ourselves compared to other people."

I agree.

I also think that the judgements we are making about ourselves (when compared to other people) are based upon the judgements we make over those others.

Really really roar.

Didn't meet DH till my 30s. Had DD at 37. And I'm not that old compared to the school gate mum's I met.

Courting and all that gets much shorter as you get older. You both know what you want (and don't want) so there's less faffing.

We all made mistakes when younger. Key is to accept, look after yourself then move on.

I also had the consciously change my 'type' to someone 'nice'. And avoid scary exciting types. Give different types of blokes a chance. Best thing I ever did.

Incidentally that was 2 years ago and since I have been stable I've taken myself on private self development courses.

Why don't you start a thread for support for you? There a some lovely people on here who can help, as they have me. Best of luck moving forward

You can only be yourself. So why not strive to be the best version of YOU...

Maybe start by being kind to yourself.

Leave her alone, for gods sake. She's had a really shit time, is desperately trying to deal with her own issues, has been hurt and feels upset. For fucks sake, Mumsnet. This is why I rarely start threads, even though I often want to

That was aimed at BBC sorry.

You're a hero borders thank you

Jinglejess xxx

I'm sorry that you were so upset. However, me thinks that no offence was intended,

Yes, yes to borders. I've always been attracted to 'bad boys'. Leads to unhappiness every bloody single time.

I was once told I looked like Cat Woman in a bar (preens) though I suspect he was just trying to get into my gothy knickers and I did, in fact, look more like Wayne Hussey

I have got a thread. the crisis team dont give a shit, they are happy for me to die
cant stop shaking now, why am i nto worth as kucha s other

OP you're deflecting here somewhat. The comment in the pub was not in the least bit offensive. The man said you look like a Hollywood movie star.

You've said you can cope with the termination and the relationship ending but not a compliment in a pub? And you're starving yourself after a fairly big medical procedure.

Are you getting help at the moment with your MH? It sounds like you need some immediate support.

And if it helps (although I doubt it will with the way you're thinking at the moment) I met my DH aged 28. I married at 30, had DD1 at 32, and am about to have DD2 at 36. And I am fat. 28 is not an age to start worrying about never having children.

I recon Renee is loads prettier that that one you want to look like.

I'm sorry you're having a shit week, and some random has upset you.

If it's any consolation, someone told me I reminded them of Hyacinth Bucket. Now I absolutely adore Patricia Routledge, but at 22 years old that stung a little bit.