To consider escorting?

[MakeItRainOnMe]

NC'd.

I'm so sick of being poor, I can't even save money to put in to a pension let alone for new and much needed clothes.

I'm (almost) 25 with a 1 year old DD studying at uni and if it wasn't for DD then I would work in the evenings and on weekends but with no family nearby I have no options.

Plus I plan to move back to London when I finish my degree and as there is no room at my mums I think that this will be the best way to survive in London.

Anyone got any suggestions? Help or advice?

Thanks

99% of prostituted women have been victims of violence and they are injured more often than workers in the most dangerous occupations, like mining, forestry and fire fighting.

Vancouver Sun, May 17 1995

“I would numb my feelings… I would actually leave my body and go somewhere else with my thoughts and with my feelings until he got off me and it was over with. I don’t know how else to explain it except it felt like rape. It was rape to me.”

Survivor quoted on Demand Change website.

“When women’s bodies are on sale as commodities in the capitalist market, the terms of the original contract cannot be forgotten; the law of male sex-right is publicly affirmed and men gain public acknowledgement as women’s sexual masters – that is what is wrong with prostitution.”

Carole Pateman

I enjoyed it.

Some will have positive experiences, some won't. Same with all jobs.

I now work in the care profession in a very well respected profession. But I've never regretted being an escort, never experienced violence(we had a driver waiting outside and a safety alarm anyway), never felt used (I was being paid).

I enjoyed the experience and have no regrets.

You're wasting your time trying to be kind and helpful joy, why should op clean filthy toilets when she can "gain experience"?
How are you going to translate this experience to your CV btw?

“When women’s bodies are on sale as commodities in the capitalist market, the terms of the original contract cannot be forgotten; the law of male sex-right is publicly affirmed and men gain public acknowledgement as women’s sexual masters – that is what is wrong with prostitution.”

God yeah - this with bells on.

Joe Parker’s essay, How Prostitution Works. Here is his conclusion:

“People who have had luckier lives, as well as those who profit from the sex industry in some way, frequently refer to prostitution and pornography as “victim-less crimes”. They point to a tiny fraction of sex workers who actually might be involved by choice. They selectively read history to find some tiny minority, somewhere, at some time, who gained something in the sex business.

The very selectiveness of their attention indicates that, on some level, they know that for almost everyone, involvement in the sex industry is a terrible misfortune.

As many an old cop will say, “Anyone who thinks prostitution is a victimless crime, hasn’t seen it up close.”

On the back on this thread I looked on the AdultWork website to see what it was all about. There is someone in my city offering "bareback anal" and there's loads of acronyms that I don't even want to look up. Horrible.

OP Nobody has their shit together at 25, why are you so desperate for immediate financial security? Live in a cheaper place, get on a graduate scheme, ensure you're claiming all you're entitled to, and in ten years when you have a good job and a nice life that you built for yourself and your daughter you will be proud.

There's a reason rape is not considered to be theft.

brazilianandjapanese of course you were being used- punters used you to spunk into. You were a commodity to them, less than human. It was rape- you wouldn't have let any of them anywhere near you if they hadn't paid you- this is hardly a truly consensual arrangement.
A strange situation to find enjoyable and exciting imo. I'm very glad you have moved on into other work now in which you do not have to open your body to men in order to earn your living.

If a woman says she enjoyed escorting, it's not for me to tell her she didn't. But if she says the majority of sex workers are doing it out of choice and enjoy it, that is patent bollocks.

A peer-reviewed study published in The Journal of Trauma Practice 2003 interviewed 854 people in prostitution in nine countries. It found that prostitution “dehumanizes, commodifies and fetishizes women”. The vast majority of the people interviewed:

Reported experiencing sexual, physical and verbal violence in prostitution.
Reported a history of homelessness and childhood physical and sexual abuse.
Met the clinical criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Wanted to leave prostitution but couldn’t see how.
The study concluded that prostitution is multi-traumatic regardless of where it takes place. It includes the following account as an example:

“The account of a woman from the United States who prostituted primarily in strip clubs but also in massage, escort, and street prostitution is typical in that it encompasses the following types of violence: In strip club prostitution she was sexually harassed and assaulted. The job required her to tolerate verbal abuse (with a coerced smile), being grabbed and pinched on the legs, buttocks, breasts, and crotch. Sometimes this resulted in bruises and scratches on her thighs and arms and breasts. Her breasts were squeezed until she was in severe pain. She was humiliated by customers ejaculating on her face. She was physically brutalized, and her hair was pulled as a means of control and torture. She was severely bruised from beatings and frequently had black eyes. She was repeatedly beaten on the head with closed fists, sometimes causing concussions and unconsciousness. From these beatings, her jaw was dislocated and her eardrum was damaged. Many years later her jaw is still dislocated. She was cut with knives. She was burned with cigarettes by customers who smoked while raping her. She was gang raped. She was raped individually by at least 20 men at different times in her life. Rapes by johns and pimps resulted in internal bleeding.”
59% of those interviewed in Germany, where prostitution is legal, said that they did not think that legalisation had made them any safer from rape and physical assault.

If you are happy to sleep with strangers for money, that is fine, but remember your clientele and what they require may not be what you would choose. So you may have to make a lot of comprises, not to mention loss of self esteem and possible violence. On the other hand there are many women doing the same thing but appearing respectable under the guise of status marriages or sleeping their way to promotion in their chosen line of work.

OP, if that invisible men link doesn't put you off, nothing will. Absolutely shocking (and I'm not easily shocked!)

I chose to do it and I don't consider I was used as I was being given money for it. I'm physically attractive and was paid a LOT!

I've moved on now but I've genuinely, honestly never felt bad about it or had regrets. I wouldn't not have done it if I could have my time again.

It was a job.

If you're doing it because you're forced into it or are doing it because of desperation or addiction that's completely different.

I hate this idea that men use women and women are just defenseless victims when they have sex.

A lot of sex workers are vulnerable of course, but I certainly wasn't and I'm now in a respected, prestigious profession.

YY lavenderandrose.

The slut shaming on this thread is very disappointing, Its not greedy or lazy to not want to be homeless FFS.

And the facts do need to be faced.......its likely more women will choose this when the full impact of Universal Credit hits.

Following with interest. Just strikes me as too bloody dangerous (and all the rest).

I don't see slut shaming. I see many posters offering realistic advice about why considering being a prostitute is a terrible decision. I also see a small number of posters offering dangerous advice and misinformation , to what purpose I am not sure.

Well i saw someone calling her greedy lazy and dangerous for even considering it.

I dont think she should risk it either Far too dangerous. But to call someone greedy and lazy for considering it is downright nasty IMO.

What the majority want is sex, with no strings attached, sometimes to play out a niche fantasy but more often to pay for the opportunity to have sex with a woman who would be out of his league in normal circumstances.

Men pay prostituted women to not say no. They pay to circumvent consent.

I hate this idea that men use women and women are just defenseless victims when they have sex.

When you're a prostitute, men are using you. Where is the power in that situation? With the men. If they don't think you're attractive enough, they have the power to criticise your looks and reject you. For anyone carrying out cash transactions, they have the power to withhold or take back payment. And they have the physical power to hurt you, and because the vast, vast majority of men who use prostitutes have the ability to dehumanise the women servicing them, many of them do. All the safety alarms and drivers in the world wouldn't guard you against the determined man who was skilled and fast in overpowering you while you were naked - if that didn't happen to you during your time, it was because you were lucky. They have the power to rate your body and your sexual prowess on public websites and reduce you to a score out of 10. So yes, you are being used, because in their eyes that's exactly what you are; a commodity to be rented for their use.

I hate this idea that men use women and women are just defenseless victims when they have sex.

We are not talking about simply having sex, we are talking about paying for sex, and that's something else entirely. By your own account you are very beautiful, worked a high end and enjoyed it....good for you. The overwhelming majority of sex workers are in very different circumstances to you.

If this doesn't end up in the daily mail, I'll eat my hat.

I don't know if it's Fail fodder, tbh...maybe if the OP actually had done some escorting and was telling us about it, but simply thinking about it doesn't seem trashy enough. Oh well, we'll see.

Why don't you tell us what kind of career you'd like to get into and what you're doing at uni. Then people could suggest how you get the career experience you require or suggest areas that you could go into.