To hate new haircut 💇🏻

[Pugmomma]

Long story short as i can squeeze it.. a few years ago I had an absolutely god awful experience at the hairdressers, where after asking her to 'take an inch off just to get rid of any dead ends' the silly cow lopped half my wig off - I kid you not I'm talking like 4/5 inches (my hair was virgin hair no colour no bleach no heat damage, it was also waist length, really thick and I bloody loved it).

Anyway, spent about a week crying and since then I've been so wary of the hairdressers and have had a hairdresser friend give me a trim/style every 3 months ish (hair was long - waist to bum length) and I was very happy with it, she was brilliant.

Fast forward to this year and my friend has moved away and I've had no hairdresser so I finally decided to brave it and go to a reputable salon (Toni & Guy no less!), told the woman what I wanted, just an inch off to rid the dead ends and a hair mask treatment. Sat there quite happy with a brew and a biscuit, while she chops away at the back of my head, couldn't see what she was doing as she's behind me, then she comes to the side of me and continues cutting and I had an absolute heart attack when I saw the length she'd taken off - actually did a little yelp which made her stop. She'd taken off about 5 inches!! She stopped and asked was I ok and I've had a little raging hissy bitch fit, manager comes running over, I've told her the situation and she bless her heart was very apologetic, tried telling me the girl who'd done it was still in training, but as half my hair was shoulder blades and the other half at my bum, I had no choice but to let the manager take over and chop the other half.

It's taken me years to grow it so long, not to mention the amount I've spent maintaining it with keratase masks, heat defence treatments, Moroccan oil shampoo etc. I'm absolutely devastated.

DP loved my long hair (he never even noticed when I had it trimmed in the past) and when I walked through the door after having been the hairdressers he actually looked shocked, and said oh they've taken a good bit off and told me I should complain to head office so I know it doesn't seem to be suiting me at all. Even DD who's 3 asked me what happened to mummy's rapunzel hair

The manager gave me a free voucher for 'next time' which I feel like burning. I'm actually sat here in tears. I reckon it's going to take over a year to grow back to anywhere near where it was.

AIBU to feel like ripping my actual hair out? Has anybody else ever had this?

Also feel obliged to say I'm in my mid twenties, so not mutton dressed as lamb with the long hair (my mum has ridiculous opinions of older women with longer hair but she's just an old moaner - I love older ladies with longer hair- I remember being amazed by Edna's hair in emmerdale!!)

Yes, getting upset over hair is pointless but are there really people here who have never had a bad cut? Or a bad hair day, at least?

I'm growing out a bob and it was finally past my shoulders in November, so I went to a ££££ salon in the city centre for a trim and she hacked off three inches from the bottom, then cut into it again AFTER she'd curled it! It was an absolute disgrace and I went back to have the salon director rectify it for free, but she'd done so much damage there wasn't a lot he could do. Months have passed and it's only just getting back to where it was, and the layers still look shite when it's straight.

A bad cut can be really, really upsetting and I think the OP is getting a hard time here.

Do you think you attach too much importance to your hair? Can you explore why this is such a major disaster for you?
Of course, hair is an important part of our appearance, but if your hair still comes down to your shoulder blades, you can't look that different when you see your reflection?
You said something about your hair being the only thing that gives you self confidence. I think that is the real issue here. You need to build up your self confidence and self esteem from other things. Are you a good kind decent person? Do you have meaningful relationships with family or friends? Do you have a job or interests which give you satisfaction? These are more important than your hair length.

I would never go to Toni and Guy unless I wanted a trendy, choppy cut. I used to use them btw. They're not the type of hairdresser to care for one length, long hair. Your hair does look much nicer the shorter length as many other posters have said. I'd love to be able to have my hair as long as yours is now but it's fine and breaks to easily. I think you need to work on your self esteem as it shouldn't be tied so closely to your hair. A lot of this comes with age as well. And you're very young. I felt the same as you in my 20's, which was when my self esteem was pretty low. In my 40's, I know I have to get my hair cut and coloured to make the best of it an my features. I currently have a lob and much better self esteem. Your self image issues may be passed onto your daughter if you're not careful.

Toni and Guy are rubbish hairdressers. Either get a recommendation for a new hairdressers or read reviews online.

YA totally NBU, in my opinion.

It is completely understandable that you are feeling devastated and I am very very sorry. However, what's done cannot be undone unfortunately. Have a cry, feel sorry for yourself for a day, buy yourself a nice treat (or whatever you need to give yourself a bit of a lift), and then do try to accept it and just rock it.

Your hair IS still amazing and quite long. It WILL grow back and a year goes by quickly. You're still the same person beneath the hair, try not to let it get you down.

I had a very similar experience - had bum-length hair, went to a hair dresser for a "trim" and she lopped half of it off. I was gutted and didn't trust hairdressers for years, until I found a friend who I knew would do what I asked.

A few years ago I decided to donate my hair to a charity that made wigs for women with cancer - I cut 50cm off!! (And what was left was still shoulder length). That was a HUGE step for me but surprisingly I loved it. Two years later I took an even bigger step and SHAVED it all off to raise money for the Leukemia foundation. I found that incredibly freeing. I was no longer defined or controlled by my hair. Having nothing to hide behind, I am able to be completely myself and to heck with what anyone else thinks.

I'm not suggesting something so drastic for you, but I hope you can find the freedom that I did and realise that you don't need to hide behind your hair. for you.

YADNBU!!

Your beautiful hair!That hairdresser is beyond stupid,I have long hair as well I'd be fuming if that was my hair and my DH would have gone balistic,like your DH my DH loves my long hair as well.

Going against what so many others have said I'd want compensation!
No it won't bring your gorgeous hair back but I'd hope that it would mean that they'd look into they're training and they're trainee and that they'd never do the same to anyone else!

To be honest OP your hair looked split at the ends when it was long, it's in much better condition now. Trimming every 3 months just isn't frequent enough to keep your hair in good condition.

OP I sympathise. I cut/style/dye my own hair and have done for years because I never had a good experience with a hair dresser, and the one time I went myself as an adult, it wasn't any better. They always took too much off for a trim and wouldn't do what I asked as a teen because they didn't think it would look right. It's sadly tainted my view of having ANYONE else touch my hair. If I mess it up I can only be mad at myself.

It IS only hair and it will grow back but when you look after it and love it, it is upsetting to have something you're not happy with. But your hair does look lovely in the third pic. I get it though. I hope you feel better about it soon.

Japab learning to cut your own hair is fun!

And yes, even at the length your hair is now you can cut your own hair. Mine is down to my shoulder blades and I cut it myself, every 8 weeks.

Seriously, it isn't worth the angst.

As an aside, if your hairdresser was a trainee, I imagine she was quite young. She might not know how long an inch is. She might have a totally skewed idea of imperial measurements. I would stick to centimetres - or show her.

you (and your family) seem to be over-invested in your hair.
Your hair is still really long, it looks far far better post snip.

and as for the comment 'warrants a twitter complaint' I am :O why doesn't it warrant a conversation face to face and resolution? Y'know, like grown ups, Social media 'shaming' is the modern day equivalent of writing 'debby higgins is a slag' on the bus shelter.

Wow some people are actually quite mean about this. What if OP had her makeup collection ruined or her favourite clothes? It's part of what makes her feel good and happy and confident. Except she can't just go and replace it with money. Try equating it with something you use or rely on to feel good about your appearance, and think about how you would feel if it was ruined for you and you couldn't replace it for a while. If it wouldn't matter to you then clearly you don't need it, which is fine and great but some people do.

I've had this happen too, I've always had long hair but due to hairdressers cutting loads more off than asked I trim it myself it's actually far easier than I thought, don't worry tho I'm sure it will grow back sooner than you think

I agree with you that it is poor service and yanbu to be unhappy with the service.

From what I can see in the photo though, your hair still looks really beautiful.

If the third picture is the new haircut then it is not to the shoulder at all and is still really really long hair for a grown woman! Perhaps the split ends were so bad that much had to come off?

Of course it's natural to be upset over a hair disaster - but surely going from really long hair to slightly less long really long hair isn't that bad. It hardly changes your identity! If she'd ended up with a bob, or a pixie, then I could understand it because she'd look like a different person. But her hair's just a bit shorter, no change of identity, no need to start styling herself differently, her clothes won't start looking slightly odd with her new hairdo etc.

OP posted in AIBU and most people feel SI. What's the big deal?

OP your hair looks lovely and healthy and not much different. There's nothing you can do but wait it out if you want to get back to waist length. Move on.

no surprise to me you had a terrible haircut at Tony and Guy This old thread recounts my experience a couple of years back (Higgle is an old posting name) A lot of people joined to to detail their similar problems. OP, I'm saddened that so many posters have been less than sympathetic here, if you don't get what you contractually engage a hairdresser to provide - and in your case it was not very complicated - you are entitled to damages. Given that your crowning glory will not be the same for months and they have just flagrantly ignored your request I'd be really mega pissed off if it was me.
I have not read all the recent comments but I'd suggest you get a quote for extensions (whether you want them or not) as this would be the only way to put matters close to right and then ask them to pa this by way of compensation. There are solicitors who take claims of this kind, but maybe this is not quite serious enough for court action.

People are pissing ME off never mind the OP with all this 'why Ian it so important to you' nonsense! Yes it's just hair but it's her hair and someone did something to it she didn't ask for or consent to! As to saying there's nothing to be upset about they don't like long hair that's just bonkers! There is nothing wrong with liking your hair long OP it's not always about being 'mentally unhealthy' sometimes it's as simple as you love how it looks long!

If she doesn't heat treat or colour her hair then yes every 3 months is enough if she has an inch off each time she has it trimmed,would like to know on what you base this information Fruitcider? Your own hair perhaps? Much rather someone visited a decent stylist every 3 months for an inch taken off than did it herself. Its ALWAYS not straight when people do it themselves yet they they claim it looks fine but you can spot it a mile off when its a home cut!

Bloody hell people are being harsh with all this "grow up" shit! It's your hair and someone did something to it you didn't ask for and that you hate - of course you are entitled to feel upset, especially if it was a feature that gave you confidence.

However, although it's not what you wanted, it does still look really lovely - seriously lovely. You can rock this haircut and feel confident with it, even though it's not what you wanted. Hugs, and a fair bit of hair-envy from me too :)

I get you, OP, but your hair does still look lovely and long.

The last haircut I had was 6mths ago by my EX-Hairdresser, it has only now got to a length I am happy with .

I feel like never going to a hairdresser again! But I am older and will def look witchy with unstyled hair, so need to go occasionally.

It's the fact she's spent a week crying because her long hair is slightly shorter that people think she is BU, not the fact she hairdresser messed up.
I'd be angry, but I wouldn't be crying for a week about it. Has op been crying in front of her 3yo for a week because of her hair? I hope not as it's teaching her that looks are everything and that 5 inches off your hair is absolutely devastating.
It was posted on AIBU, not beauty or whatever it's called. I guess she wants similar stories and complements about her hair and people would less likely to say she's being unreasonable there

I've had this happen to be before as well. My extremely thick, very curly hair was almost touching my bum, and it was also my 'confidence' blanket. They always asked me to stand up when cutting my hair though.

Last year I decided I'm getting a bit old (45-year old mutton) for the long hair, and had it chopped at shoulder length (about 16" off). It was such a relief, and I love it. My confidence has actually improved, as it is so much easier to take care of and keep healthy.

I understand how you feel, but it's hair, it will grow back.

A change is as good as a rest, OP. even a gorgeous look gets stale after a while.

So as you can't do anything about it at the moment anyway, try and embrace it whilst it grows back - it won't take long!

You can also complain to the owner (aren't Toni and Guy franchises?) of course, but from an emotional health perspective, it's just hair. It's not a limb or an eye or cancer or diabetes or anything else that lots of people have to deal with every day. It still looks great :)

Seriously some of the replies on here.
Just because you don't agree with how she is feeling doesn't make her feelings wrong or invalid. No one can tell you how to feel. I think some people may need to reflect on their replies and think more about why they are so quick to judge!!!

It's not harsh to say to the OP that she needs to get some perspective! And yes she paid for a service who didn't give her what she asked for, but so do thousands of other people for much worse! I have a close friend who had surgery to correct her breathing on her nose, she went private. She paid £6000 to be given a nose that look nothing like her old nose and worse breathing than before, and guess what, the surgeon is washing his hands of it.
she has to pay another 6 grand in a year to get it fixed. Now that's something to get upset about!!