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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate new haircut 💇🏻

212 replies

Pugmomma · 09/03/2017 00:36

Long story short as i can squeeze it.. a few years ago I had an absolutely god awful experience at the hairdressers, where after asking her to 'take an inch off just to get rid of any dead ends' the silly cow lopped half my wig off - I kid you not I'm talking like 4/5 inches (my hair was virgin hair no colour no bleach no heat damage, it was also waist length, really thick and I bloody loved it).

Anyway, spent about a week crying and since then I've been so wary of the hairdressers and have had a hairdresser friend give me a trim/style every 3 months ish (hair was long - waist to bum length) and I was very happy with it, she was brilliant.

Fast forward to this year and my friend has moved away and I've had no hairdresser so I finally decided to brave it and go to a reputable salon (Toni & Guy no less!), told the woman what I wanted, just an inch off to rid the dead ends and a hair mask treatment. Sat there quite happy with a brew and a biscuit, while she chops away at the back of my head, couldn't see what she was doing as she's behind me, then she comes to the side of me and continues cutting and I had an absolute heart attack when I saw the length she'd taken off - actually did a little yelp which made her stop. She'd taken off about 5 inches!! She stopped and asked was I ok and I've had a little raging hissy bitch fit, manager comes running over, I've told her the situation and she bless her heart was very apologetic, tried telling me the girl who'd done it was still in training, but as half my hair was shoulder blades and the other half at my bum, I had no choice but to let the manager take over and chop the other half.

It's taken me years to grow it so long, not to mention the amount I've spent maintaining it with keratase masks, heat defence treatments, Moroccan oil shampoo etc. I'm absolutely devastated.

DP loved my long hair (he never even noticed when I had it trimmed in the past) and when I walked through the door after having been the hairdressers he actually looked shocked, and said oh they've taken a good bit off and told me I should complain to head office so I know it doesn't seem to be suiting me at all. Even DD who's 3 asked me what happened to mummy's rapunzel hair Angry

The manager gave me a free voucher for 'next time' which I feel like burning. I'm actually sat here in tears. I reckon it's going to take over a year to grow back to anywhere near where it was.

AIBU to feel like ripping my actual hair out? Has anybody else ever had this?

Also feel obliged to say I'm in my mid twenties, so not mutton dressed as lamb with the long hair (my mum has ridiculous opinions of older women with longer hair but she's just an old moaner - I love older ladies with longer hair- I remember being amazed by Edna's hair in emmerdale!!)

OP posts:
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FindoGask · 09/03/2017 07:39

(also if you just wanted an inch off the ends couldn't you have done that yourself? it can't be that difficult?)

MaryLennoxsScowl · 09/03/2017 07:39

YANBU and posters saying it isn't cool to have long hair sound bloody rude and also quite mainstream in their ideas about trends.

The worst haircut I ever had was at Toni & Guy too so I never went back - they gave me layers after I said I didn't want them and chopped the shortest layers up to my chin when the rest of my hair was long so it took ages to grow out.

greenworm · 09/03/2017 07:40

YANBU to be cross you didn't get what you asked for.

But you would be U to dwell on it, I always feels odd getting used to a new haircut, but I bet in a week you won't notice it nearly as much.

Realistically the only thing you can do to help yourself now is try to accept it, embrace it and move on.

Megatherium · 09/03/2017 07:41

If the third picture is what it looks like now, it's still long and much the nicest of the three pictures. To be honest, it looks a mess in the others.

DoingThisRight · 09/03/2017 07:41

You sound so immature. Fgs it's just hair and it seems like you still have a lot of it. Grow up.

HashiAsLarry · 09/03/2017 07:45

Having just seen the emotional pain my MIL went through losing her hair to chemo, I've realised just how much hair can matter to people. Most people have something that makes them feel like them, some its a dressing style, some its hair. Just because it isn't your thing doesn't mean its not a thing to someone else.

OP, I've had similar too when I asked for a tidy up of my then short bob and they lopped off so much on one side initially then finished so badly I ended up at a different salon getting a pixie to sort it. Put me off hairdressers for a while too. Flowers

I'd complain to head office too, though I'd mention the manager who in fairness has probably done all they can in front of you.

BalletZeus · 09/03/2017 07:47

I like your new hair cut! It is styled rather than just long hair hangning down!

Honestly, don't be stressed, you look lovely!

thethoughtfox · 09/03/2017 07:47

The mistake you made is that you didn't just say one inch, you also said 'dead ends'. You told them to cut off all the dead ends and they did. I always ask for a trim but them ask them how much they think needs cutting off and they always show me several inches and I expressly say no.

ThePurpleOneWithTheNut · 09/03/2017 07:48

I don't think yabu at all. I've had some awful haircuts (yours still looks lovely btw but nonetheless it's not at all what you asked for or expected) and I know very well that awful lurching shock of seeing a hair horror unfold before your eyes.

'Its hair it'll grow'..well yes it does. Mine grows incredibly slowly though and when you're growing out something you hate for months and months all because a hairdresser couldn't be more careful it really does knock your confidence. I think you are being given a hard time on here with people saying you are defining yourself with your hair etc.

I really do think that hairdressing should be better regulated.

MiniCooperLover · 09/03/2017 07:49

Is the last picture how it is now? That's not even close to shoulder blades, it's still long and as for your DH suggesting you complain that's just weird, my DH does not get a say in how my hair looks, I'd like to think he can see past hair.

Lweji · 09/03/2017 07:50

Tbh, in the second photo all I see is a hair mess.

The third looks fine and not short at all. Longer than that and it just becomes a bundle of hair.

But you'd never get much sympathy here. I regularly grow my hair and then chop it to ear lobe length. :)

EastMidsMummy · 09/03/2017 07:51

Your hair's still long and still looks great. The five inches in the small of your back really won't be the way that anyway else sees you or defines you.

To be honest I should of been more observant

Sorry - lost all sympathy at this point...

acatcalledjohn · 09/03/2017 07:54

You didn't see 5 inches of hair fall to the floor?

Why didn't you just ask if the OP has eyes in the back of her head?

I think the OP is given a rough ride here. Granted, it's only hair, but the fact remains that she had 5 times more cut off than she asked for. And who are we to say how people should feel about themselves? Do we tell those who don't leave the house without some make up that they need to lighten up?

It's happened twice so it's bound to get to the OP. The latest girl was new. As a hairdresser you need a good idea of length before you are let loose on customers unsupervised. The fact that T&G didn't charge OP and gave her a voucher for a next time to me seems an admission of guilt - they likely knew they hadn't supervised the new girl adequately.

OP, find yourself a nice non chain salon. You'll be much happier.

morningconstitutional2017 · 09/03/2017 07:59

I do feel your pain, at least she only took 5" off so it could have been much worse.
This takes me back to my early teens when finally (after years of moaning) mum allowed me to grow my hair long. It got to my shoulders, then I had to be a bridesmaid for my older brother. His bride wanted all four of us to look the same so the hairdresser cut it short again. We weren't given a choice (maybe pinning it back?). It really didn't suit me and wasn't even styled very flatteringly. As a very self-conscious adolescent with no confidence I was mortified and am not smiling in most of the photos. She always was a nag and they're still married.

RhiWrites · 09/03/2017 08:00

People who are very attached to having long hair shouldn't go to salons. Really. They always think their hair is just fine and only want the teeeniest tiniest less than an inch off.

I don't think the salon should have cut off so much more than you wanted but please stop going to salons. They are there to cut and they always want to take off the split ends which are always more than Rapunzels recognise.

I agree your hair looks the best in the third photo. It has some layering to it and it looks thick and shiny with health. The first one makes it look flat and dull. A big risk with long hair is that the weight flattens it and it's long but majes as much impact around the face as short back and sides.

However if that's what you want then please stay home and snip it yourself. Rapunzels are a pain for hairdressers. It's hard to cut hair that's so long the hairdresser has to crouch and for a customer who's going to freak when you cut the split ends off.

maddiemookins16mum · 09/03/2017 08:01

I think they needed to cut that much to get rid of the crappy, messy end bits. It looks lovely now.
Yab a bit u.

ScarletFever · 09/03/2017 08:03

Also feel obliged to say I'm in my mid twenties, so not mutton dressed as lamb with the long hair

It's nice now but you'll have to have it all current off soon as you don't want to be one of those middle aged women with long hair Hmm I know you ended with its hangover from your mum, but this surely isn't your first visit here?

Yes it's OK to be upset they have taken off more than you wanted, but be glad it didn't go any shorter, or lopsided or in a mullet style

It won't take too long to get back to where it was

SaucyJack · 09/03/2017 08:04

YANBU to feel how you feel.
It's your hair. You can have it as long as you like.

But, speaking as an outsider and without any of the sentimentality you've attached to your own hair..... it looks a million times better in the last picture.

It's got a bit of shape to the length. Long curtains hanging down flatter no one.

GwenStaceyRocks · 09/03/2017 08:08

Your new cut looks great.As for your DD's response, children tend not to like change so if I were you, I wouldn't take her response to heart.
I do find it odd that you've had two experiences where a hairdresser has cut much more than you wanted. It seems like you need to be more assertive or you need to think about what you're asking for. If you're asking for an inch cut and all the dead ends to be cut, it sounds like you're giving two different instructions. It's unlikely the dead ends would be exactly one inch.
You're very unlucky to have it happen twice. I've never had a hairdresser cut hair without showing me first where they are going to cut it to.

mollymaid16 · 09/03/2017 08:08

I'm exactly the same after much bad experiences I now ask my hairdressers to take only a cm or so off and they show me what they are about to cut for approval so based on your previous experiences you need to be more on the ball.

Most hairdressers do show you what they want to take off and ask is that ok.

Screwinthetuna · 09/03/2017 08:10

Maybe lots of it was actually dead ends? It's still very long.
TBH, YABU getting so hung up over it. Yes, be annoyed when it happened but it isn't a short bob.

You need to put it into perspective; there are girls and women with cancer having all their hair fall out and then you are whinging about 5 inches being cut off your very long hair. Think it's time to get a grip, in all honesty

Catherinebee85 · 09/03/2017 08:10

Is the 3rd photo now? It's beautiful and the layers make it look really stylish rather than having It all the same block length. I don't necessarily think you're unreasonable to be upset that you didn't get what you asked for. But it does sound like you made a bit of a scene which does sound a bit unreasonable. The girl probably didn't realise just how precious you were about the length and because hair all grows at different rates they do often have to take off more length than you expect to get all of the ends looking really healthy.

I get that you love your hair but it shouldn't define you. And the things your partner and daughter said don't mean they don't like it, you're reading a lot into that.

Whisky2014 · 09/03/2017 08:11

It's still really long. It will grow.
Your mistake is saying "take the dead ends off" you need to only state that it's "1 inch only" not 1 inch to get rid of dead ends. They only hear "dead ends" and wham...it's all off. I had this too but I'm not as precious about it. Your hair looks alot thicker now.

KittyWindbag · 09/03/2017 08:13

I've had some similar bad experiences in hairdressers so I feel for you because it is a shock and hair is often the first thing we notice about ourselves in the mirror when we are unhappy with it.

BUT. Your hair is still really long, OP and it actually looks lovely now.

Next time preface your chat with the hairdresser by saying you've had several hairdressers lop way too much off before and be careful to stipulate exactly how much you want off.

Mrsknackered · 09/03/2017 08:16

Meh. Toni and Guy is wank.
I just had 9 inches off last month and bloody love it but it's already started to grow back.
It will grow back really quickly you won't even remember this traumatic ordeal next year

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