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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate new haircut 💇🏻

212 replies

Pugmomma · 09/03/2017 00:36

Long story short as i can squeeze it.. a few years ago I had an absolutely god awful experience at the hairdressers, where after asking her to 'take an inch off just to get rid of any dead ends' the silly cow lopped half my wig off - I kid you not I'm talking like 4/5 inches (my hair was virgin hair no colour no bleach no heat damage, it was also waist length, really thick and I bloody loved it).

Anyway, spent about a week crying and since then I've been so wary of the hairdressers and have had a hairdresser friend give me a trim/style every 3 months ish (hair was long - waist to bum length) and I was very happy with it, she was brilliant.

Fast forward to this year and my friend has moved away and I've had no hairdresser so I finally decided to brave it and go to a reputable salon (Toni & Guy no less!), told the woman what I wanted, just an inch off to rid the dead ends and a hair mask treatment. Sat there quite happy with a brew and a biscuit, while she chops away at the back of my head, couldn't see what she was doing as she's behind me, then she comes to the side of me and continues cutting and I had an absolute heart attack when I saw the length she'd taken off - actually did a little yelp which made her stop. She'd taken off about 5 inches!! She stopped and asked was I ok and I've had a little raging hissy bitch fit, manager comes running over, I've told her the situation and she bless her heart was very apologetic, tried telling me the girl who'd done it was still in training, but as half my hair was shoulder blades and the other half at my bum, I had no choice but to let the manager take over and chop the other half.

It's taken me years to grow it so long, not to mention the amount I've spent maintaining it with keratase masks, heat defence treatments, Moroccan oil shampoo etc. I'm absolutely devastated.

DP loved my long hair (he never even noticed when I had it trimmed in the past) and when I walked through the door after having been the hairdressers he actually looked shocked, and said oh they've taken a good bit off and told me I should complain to head office so I know it doesn't seem to be suiting me at all. Even DD who's 3 asked me what happened to mummy's rapunzel hair Angry

The manager gave me a free voucher for 'next time' which I feel like burning. I'm actually sat here in tears. I reckon it's going to take over a year to grow back to anywhere near where it was.

AIBU to feel like ripping my actual hair out? Has anybody else ever had this?

Also feel obliged to say I'm in my mid twenties, so not mutton dressed as lamb with the long hair (my mum has ridiculous opinions of older women with longer hair but she's just an old moaner - I love older ladies with longer hair- I remember being amazed by Edna's hair in emmerdale!!)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Dixiestamp · 09/03/2017 01:39

I've just had a big 'chop' and was not entirely happy. However, DD age 7 has just had over 13 inches cut to donate to the Little Princess Trust (it was bum length and now shoulder length- and she's teeny weeny!) . She's also collected £700 and made me feel a bit bad about missing my hair, thinking about the reason she's had hers cut!

avamiah · 09/03/2017 01:40

TheUnicorns,
Its not just hair.
It's your identity and so what if it grows back, it shouldn't of been cut off that much in the first place.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 09/03/2017 01:41

You are a bit precious TBH it's hair, get dome extensions if you are that bothered.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 09/03/2017 01:42

"Some" not dome

steff13 · 09/03/2017 01:42

I feel sorry for someone whose identity is her hair.

Perhaps there was more than 1" of dead ends.

Original poster
Pugmomma · 09/03/2017 01:45

TheUnicorns my hair was my confidence, I'm not very confident about myself at all, I kind of hid behind the hair if you like, and this has just made me feel crap emotionally, maybe I'm precious but I'm sure everyone has their 'thing'. It really is awful avamiah I hope you never have to go throw a bad hair cut! Oooh I'm going to check YouTube out now, alltheglitters I'm dead against ever having anyone with scissors near me again Blush yes it is crispbutty

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 09/03/2017 01:50

It is really bad service when they don't do what you ask. I used to have hair to my waist and it was always a challenge to ensure they didn't take off more than I wanted. I was always very vigilant with a new hairdresser. I have short hair now and it's still difficult, to be honest, to get them to do what I've asked when what I want isn't super common (I tend to like a very sharp look on the whole, which has not been that popular for a while and they always want to "soften" it - which is exactly what I've told them I don't want!).

But, it is not healthy to take so much of your body confidence from your hair! It will grow back in time. For now it still looks lovely. Try to enjoy it as it is, don't spend to long regretting what can't be helped.

SecretWitch · 09/03/2017 01:51

It won't help now, Op but the first time I ever visit a salon, I do bring a mini ruler with me and show the stylist exactly how much hair I want,removed. I try not be crazy obsessed about my hair but have had my it chopped too many times.

Try taking Biotin capsules, I do believe it helps my hair grow faster and healthier.

Isadora2007 · 09/03/2017 02:03

Your hair is lovely now. I'd be worried about the message I was sending to. My daughter about looks being important etc if I was crying over a hair cut.
You had long hair. You still have long hair.
I didn't even cry when I had my hair cropped from bra strap length to a short layered cut in preparation for getting chemo. I felt it would be less of a shock for my children (age 3 and 6) to see me go from long to short then short to bald. I also didn't cry when I shaved my head when my hair started to fall out.
I would be very disappointed in myself if I ever thought my hair defined me. In fact I'd shave it all off again if it ever did.

HicDraconis · 09/03/2017 06:57

You are and you aren't being unreasonable.

YANBU - because you asked for a specific cut, 1 inch from the bottom. If she wasn't sure how long an inch was, she should have checked with you before chopping merrily away. 5 inches is not 1!

BUT... YABU because it's only hair. My lovely friend lost her hair - her defining feature, her waist length very thick straight gorgeous hair - with a gruelling course of chemotherapy for cancer. I had my waist length hair shaved to a #1 all over in support (and raised money for the local cancer trust in the process). It is just hair, and it grows back. If your identity is so bound up in your hair then explore why this is, why it is so important to you and work on your self esteem so that you can cope without it.

sofiainwonderland · 09/03/2017 07:08

YANBU when it comes down to the fact that you went into a place, asked for a service and received a different one.

YABU when it comes to your obsession about your hair, your DH is YABU for his massive over-reaction. I do have a problem with men who don't agree that their partners wear their hair as short as they want and they INSIST they don't cut it. Jesus, I had one of those, dumped him really quick.

Hair grows. Grow up.

Cinderpi · 09/03/2017 07:15

I'm going to go against the grain - I don't think you are BU. I had waist length hair and even when I chose to have it shorter (easier for travelling) I cried after seeing how short it was. It wasn't a shallow obsession or that my identity was wrapped up in it, it was just something that had been a part of me for a very long time, and I felt I was losing a bit of who I had been.

Flame all you like, as a person lacking in body confidence I'd always had compliments on my hair if nothing else so it mattered to me - and I'd have been even more upset if it had happened against my wishes!

gingertigercat · 09/03/2017 07:19

Get a grip op! You said it's at your shoulder blades which I could accept as being a terrible error.

Clearly that's not the case is it. What an overreaction. It's still past your boobs, that's really not so bad and it will be waist length again before you know it.

ClopySow · 09/03/2017 07:22

Also feel obliged to say I'm in my mid twenties, so not mutton dressed as lamb with the long hair

Allow me to introduce myself. Hello lamb, i'm mutton.

Underthemoonlight · 09/03/2017 07:25

Your being very silly looking at the pictures your hair looks so much healthier in the third picture. Mines just abit longer and i consider it to be very long.. if it's your self confidence why it get clip in extensions to make it longer?

CondensedMilkSarnies · 09/03/2017 07:26

Did they tell you that the hairdresser was still in training before she started cutting ? If not then they should have.

Underthemoonlight · 09/03/2017 07:27

To put it into perspective there's people losing their hair having cancer treatments, one being a very close family member to me and then your crying over some hair when you still have plenty. How do you think those people who have lost their hair and have people looking at them feel?

Imamouseduh · 09/03/2017 07:28

It probably needed a good chop.

SheSaidHeSaid · 09/03/2017 07:28

It sounds as though you had more than 1 inch of dead/split ends so when you asked for what you did all they heard you saying to take off the split ends.

I think the hairdressers probably both were trying to do you a favour in trying to get your hair to a good condition by taking off all the dead ends and making it a bit more trendy.

fruityb · 09/03/2017 07:32

It grows back. When I had long hair and had the ends taken off I always ended up with more off as they're doing what I asked - it just took more than an inch to!

I'm very particular about my hair as it's the thing I have to have right. But if you were so concerned you should have kept a sharper eye on it if it had happened before.

It's not the end of the world and if it's healthy it'll grow well. Going to T and G for an inch trim is a bit overkill though.

OrangeSquashTallGlass · 09/03/2017 07:35

It looks much better in the third picture. It looks actually styled and healthy compared to the other two. I think she's done you a favour.

wifeyhun · 09/03/2017 07:36

Is the last picture now?

If so it's still long and looks lovely.

If you anything like me your hair will grow back very quickly.

I used to have bum length hair and cut it cut to about your length now and it's much better for me.

FindoGask · 09/03/2017 07:38

It still looks lovely and long. It's in beautiful condition too.

missyB1 · 09/03/2017 07:38

It probably needed a damn good cut and will be in much better condition now, I bet it actually looks better too. Just my opinion but waist length hair is often not very flattering, I bet your new cut is more attractive.

Try not to encourage your dd to see this as a disaster, you don't want her being image obsessed.

FurryLittleTwerp · 09/03/2017 07:39

The last pic is the "after cut"? It looks so much better IMO!!

I know you're not happy with it, & they didn't do what you wanted, but it looks lovely.

It will take about a year to reach the previous length I suppose.

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