To hate new haircut 💇🏻

[Pugmomma]

Long story short as i can squeeze it.. a few years ago I had an absolutely god awful experience at the hairdressers, where after asking her to 'take an inch off just to get rid of any dead ends' the silly cow lopped half my wig off - I kid you not I'm talking like 4/5 inches (my hair was virgin hair no colour no bleach no heat damage, it was also waist length, really thick and I bloody loved it).

Anyway, spent about a week crying and since then I've been so wary of the hairdressers and have had a hairdresser friend give me a trim/style every 3 months ish (hair was long - waist to bum length) and I was very happy with it, she was brilliant.

Fast forward to this year and my friend has moved away and I've had no hairdresser so I finally decided to brave it and go to a reputable salon (Toni & Guy no less!), told the woman what I wanted, just an inch off to rid the dead ends and a hair mask treatment. Sat there quite happy with a brew and a biscuit, while she chops away at the back of my head, couldn't see what she was doing as she's behind me, then she comes to the side of me and continues cutting and I had an absolute heart attack when I saw the length she'd taken off - actually did a little yelp which made her stop. She'd taken off about 5 inches!! She stopped and asked was I ok and I've had a little raging hissy bitch fit, manager comes running over, I've told her the situation and she bless her heart was very apologetic, tried telling me the girl who'd done it was still in training, but as half my hair was shoulder blades and the other half at my bum, I had no choice but to let the manager take over and chop the other half.

It's taken me years to grow it so long, not to mention the amount I've spent maintaining it with keratase masks, heat defence treatments, Moroccan oil shampoo etc. I'm absolutely devastated.

DP loved my long hair (he never even noticed when I had it trimmed in the past) and when I walked through the door after having been the hairdressers he actually looked shocked, and said oh they've taken a good bit off and told me I should complain to head office so I know it doesn't seem to be suiting me at all. Even DD who's 3 asked me what happened to mummy's rapunzel hair

The manager gave me a free voucher for 'next time' which I feel like burning. I'm actually sat here in tears. I reckon it's going to take over a year to grow back to anywhere near where it was.

AIBU to feel like ripping my actual hair out? Has anybody else ever had this?

Also feel obliged to say I'm in my mid twenties, so not mutton dressed as lamb with the long hair (my mum has ridiculous opinions of older women with longer hair but she's just an old moaner - I love older ladies with longer hair- I remember being amazed by Edna's hair in emmerdale!!)

It looks much better on the 3rd picture, and it still is very long. On the first 2 the ends look bit scrappy and probably needed trimming right back.
If you are asking to take dead ends off, bear in mind you may have 5 inches of dead ends given the original length.
I think it looks better now, really healthy & good condition

I cannot believe how many people are backing the hairdresser and giving you a hard time. That is outrageous. Hairdressers are sadists. Most of my friends have had an incident where they've left a salon in tears. Stay away from them.

If your hair is so important to you that you cry for a week when it goes from bum length to shoulder-blade length, then you need to be absolutely explicit at the hairdressers. Discuss what you want, tell them what's happened before, and specify the max length you want cut off. If they say 'but you've got 5 inches of split ends', then you have the option to discuss it and decide what to do.

But as the others have said - it's only hair and it'll grow. Long hair is long hair, I probably wouldn't notice the difference, apart from generally preferring it shorter because it looks healthier and is more flattering, particularly if you're not tall.

Tell your daughter and yourself it's no big deal, chalk it up to experience and find something else to expend your energy on.

When my hair was that long I brought it to the front and trimmed it myself. Husband checked it and evened it out. If you are so fussy about it you should have been constantly checking. It will grow back, stop stressing.

You need to get your facts straight about the "she''says in training" comment. Salkna like T &G usually designate each stylist with a grade e.g. "Stylist", "senior stylist", "style director" etc, each grade being more expensive. If a stylist is a trainee they absolutely have to tell you that in advance or make it clear in the job title. I know you were not charged at all in the end but if they were passing off an untrained person as a trained stylist then that warrants a complaint on Twitter or to their head office.

That said, surely day 1 of training is " do a visual check with customer as to amount they want off". It's hardly rocket science and I have never ever ever had a hairdresser fail to do this. Are you absolutely SURE you weren't engrossed in your phone or something and didn't pay attention to her checking?

FFS, some real bitchiness on this thread. MN has turned into a really horrible, bullying place. If people only came here to post about genuine life-or-death situations there'd be no AIBU! So much moral superiority ('it's just a haircut') but if you were in the same situation I bet you'd be gutted too.

OP, YANBU, I'd be miserable if someone did that to my hair (it looks fabulous in the photos, I've never seen long hair in such great condition), and I'm not surprised you've been in tears. Please ignore the nasty posters, there is a section of MN who believe anything appearance-related is shallow and vain (which is utterly ridiculous unless they themselves walk around in rags) and are jealous of anyone who has anything nice.

The hairdresser has done you a favour. Your hair looks miles better in that last photo.

If the third photo is after? It looks stunning. But, at the end of the day you didn't ask for that length. I completely get why you are upset.

Last March I wanted my hair cut it was a few inches past my shoulders. I complimented someones hair in a local shop, she told me the 2 salons she went to, I used the first for a few times, then it was taken over, the girl I liked left, the new girl couldnt fit me in for 10 days. So went to the second one. Gave her a picture, discussed what I wanted, put the picture on the table,said I did not want too much off the back, she said she would take some off then show me, and I could decide if I wanted any more off. The back was meant to be about 3 inches long, my hair was pinned up in various places I couldnt see how much she was cutting off or how much hair was going on the floor. Then she showed me in the mirror, it was half an inch long! and she actually asked if I wanted any more off! No, I didnt say anything just wanted to get out of there. Everyone was OMG what on earth have you done to your hair. My hair grows really quickly, but a year on is no-where near the length it was. Had a bad experience with Supercuts a couple of years back, ened up in the salon, for 5 hours on 2 consequitive days, because they couldnt get the colour right, I did get my money back, but it was aggrevation. First day was my Birthday, was meant to be going out for lunch, never went, didnt have so much as a cup of tea offered, also needed the loo. Offered free cut and syle, never went bac.

YANBU. Some people on this thread are being fucking horrible to you.

Well if it's any consolatjon, the third pic looks lovely and actually much nicer.

I have exactly the same sort of hair as you OP, very straight, silky, fine but tonnes of it. I keep it at about your 'after' length though, rather than long, long.

Hairdressers seem to be obsessed with cutting it off. I've lost count of the times people have taken inches and inches off when it only needed a light trim . I don't know why it happens. I've had them hold up the hair, say "ok, so we're taking |_| this much off, right?", I say "yes" and then wumph, they take off twice as much.

It used to happen less when I had long layers and I have wondered if it's just because they can't really cut well enough on such very straight hair to trim straight across at one length and have to keep correcting. I don't know. It doesn't really seem likely.

It doesn't actually look that much different from before?

If people only came here to post about genuine life-or-death situations there'd be no AIBU!

ABIU is known for being very harsh - you only come in here with a hard hat,

OP might have been better posting in style and beauty?

OP has beautiful hair, where she didn't specify to the hairdresser how short to go, even by showing with her finger/thumb, just " 'take an inch off just to get rid of any dead ends' "

" girl who'd done it was still in training" - surely when you pick a hairdresser in T&G you get offered a choice of which level of stylist you have, and if she was in training then why wasnt a supervisor with her... actually training?

Yanbu to complain that they didn't do what you asked, however your hair looks lovely now, it has a nice shape and style, so whilst you have every right to be annoyed about the length I hope that when you get used to the change you can see it actually does look nice.

Completely understand how you feel and how your long hair was/is important to you and your sense of identity. My daughter had a very similar experience a few years ago, whereby the hairdresser decided to take off an extra five inches. She was pretty gutted at the time. That said, she gradually got used to it, and to other people, it looked lovely (as does yours in the image).

You said 'take the dead ends off'.

In your first picture you can clearly see split ends several inches up the hair - the hair dresser has basically done what you asked her to do.

I think the third picture your hair looks much better as it is thick and healthy all the way down to the ends while in the first it is clearly thinning out from a long way up.

If you only want an inch, say so, or ask for a bit of discussion about where she thinks the split ends start rather than burying your head in a magazine.

With hairdressers, if you aren't clear, they have to guess.

The third pic really does look lovely, OP.

If Op's hair was straight behind her when cut, how was she supposed to notice how much came off?

And if it was 5inches with the first cut, well there's no going back, is there?

That said, YANBU to be annoyed/upset that they didn't do as asked.

5 inches off bum length hair is barely noticeable really though-it's still very long hair.

I do think they should have said how much needed taking off though rather than just doing it.

I've seen people post about hair disasters here and get loads of sympathy - not why OP is getting such a hard time because her hair is long? She asked for something and didn't get it - and I don't think it's weird that it's happened more than once or something she did wrong, in my experience hairdressers are obsessed with taking loads of length off your hair when you don't want them to.

How is 'it's only hair, get a grip' meant to help the OP? I'm sure most of us have had dodgy haircuts at one time or another. Of course worse things happen at sea, etc., but FFS. Her aim was to pay someone to make her feel good, not shitty about herself. OP, you'll get over this, but don't let anyone tell you your feelings aren't valid.

YANBU! This was your confidence and I completely understand how genuinely upsetting it can be to have this taken from you and how shocking it can be. I asked for a cut to my shoulders and it ended up around my ears! I cried for days - but hair does grow so try and put it out of your mind. Put it in a ponytail and take Vitamin b and eat eggs it will grow in no time xx

Just my opinion but waist length hair is often not very flattering, I bet your new cut is more attractive.

I agree with this. These kind of comments aren't "giving the OP a hard time". They are trying to get her to see the positive in an outcome she didn't want.

Personally I find waist lenght hair on adult women a bit repellent. Once it gets below the shoulder blades that final few inches is rarely thick or in good condition - it thins out and gets scraggley. The worst thing about it is that it is uncontrollable - in the sense that it "clings" to the fabric of clothes on both the person whose hair it is as well as others. This doesn't happen so much with longer hair that is shoulder blades or above. I think it is because once it gets past a certain length it looses the ability to swish all together.

I really can't bear being on public transport near people with hair that long as it always seems to touch you or brush over you. It's vile to have contact with long hair that is on a stranger and it always seems to moult. Lost count of the times I've seen women picking long long strands of their clothes, coat and bag and just casually lettting it drop in the air to be carried along to land on the feet of a nearby stranger.

Although you liked you hair that length, try to see the positive - you've had a proper cut of the ends which is always healthy. It almost certainly looks better too.

Sorry this happened to you but really it could be a universe sign that a few inches off is exactly what you need. And really stop using the expression "Rapunzel hair" in your house!! Please!

If someone says 'take an inch off to get rid of the dead ends' and you discover that's a conflicting set of instructions the onus is on you to clarify and not just to assume which was the higher priority to your client.

"I've seen people post about hair disasters here and get loads of sympathy - not why OP is getting such a hard time because her hair is long?"

I don't think it's because her hair is long- more that to the casual observer it's very far from being a disaster. Hopefully once the shock is over she'll be able to see what the rest of us can.

My mum went in one day for a pixie crop, and came out looking like Norm from Cheers.

That was a disaster.

Are you very short of 5 inches of hair takes it from your bum to your shoulder blades?

Just what I wondered Emo. My back is longer than 10 inches and I'm only 5' 3".

OP - very long hair like yours is likely to have split ands that extend well up the hair shaft. It is very possible that on both occasions you have been upset, the hairdresser has done just what you asked - got rid of the split ends. However as you also asked for an inch off, they should have said "To get rid of the split ends will take a lot more than an inch. Are you okay with that?" and the decision would have been yours.

I don't think they should have given you a voucher, though - they shouldn't have charged you at all. They know you are unlikely to go back (could you give/sell/ donate the voucher to someone else?)