AIBU to suspect my daughter's swimming teacher of grooming

[jobergamot]

Ok, so DD, 8 goes swimming with school. The school has a specialist PE teacher who takes them for swimming. She really likes this teacher, tells me he's funny. He has told my DD that she is 'his favourite' which she thought was lovely. They walked back to school the other day and she was walking with him and he asked her about her family and where she lived.

Of course my alarm bells are going ten to the dozen even when she first mentioned that 'Mr X told me I'm his favourite', I grilled her a bit, does he watch you get changed or anything? But this recent thing where he's asked her who she lives with, and where has got me even more paranoid.

What do you think? AIBU to suspect anything untoward?

Haven't RTFT.

The 'favourite' comment would make me a little apprehensive, but I suspect he probably says it to all of them at some point and nothing at all was meant by it.

Non of the other stuff in your OP would make me think twice.

The reason I wanted to comment was tell you that if you do suspect anything at all, the worst thing you can do is ask your child leading questions ('does he watch you getting changed?'). If there was something untoward, that sort of questioning could scupper an entire investigation. If you have suspicions, speak to the school or to safeguarding. They are the ones who will ask the questions.

You are my favourite would raise my concerns

Becuase that is so often how children are groomed

The rest sounds just like chit chat

Agree forget the leading question just ask what she did today and go from there and if you are concerned speak to the school

And it's not women being over suspicious that have stopped men going into teaching it is that far too many male teachers have groomed young children and they have created the issue

I'm wondering if the comments were made (by the teacher) exactly as the child is saying!?! It may well be just innocent, childish interpretation of praise. One of my DDs(8) once told me that her teacher liked her the best and it was because she was the first in the class to have reached the required number of stars for a particular award, by the next week there were another 7 who were also 'the best in the class'. As others have said it's easy to jump to conclusions just because he is a man but is it really fair? Also 'grilling' an 8 year old and asking outright if the teacher watched her get changed is a definite no no! You are the one creating problems (that probably do not exist) in the child's mind. It's best to stick to the basics of staying safe, open dialogue, keeping what is under your underwear private, teaching good and bad touch, etc. rather than quizzing them about a specific person.