Do you expect to pay for our own drinks at he evening do of a wedding?

[WhistlingBetty]

I am getting married in six weeks and we need to let he venue know what we want to do about the bar.

We have 100 day guests and as well as canapes and a three course meal alcohol included is:

3 X glasses of champagne
Half a bottle of wine

We have an additional 30 guests for the evening and are doing a hot buffet. How much alcohol would you expect to be covered as an evening guest or a day guest going to the evening party? We can't afford a free bar.

I would expect to pay for my own drinks but a glass of sparkling wine on arrival (or similar) would be nice but not expected.

My Dad went to order himself a pint at the bar and when he went to hand over his money he was told that b and g had left cash for everyone's first drink, my Dad then said to tip the pint out and he'd have a triple whiskey, went back to his table and got his wife, son and inlaws to also order triple whiskeys as their free drink and he'd pay for the tea, coffe and pop after they'd been served

I don't mean to be harsh about anyone's dad but I cannot understand how anyone can be this rude to their hosts

Can you perhaps take 1 glass of champagne off that, and offer evening guests a free glass of champagne on arrival and they pay for their own

This is a bloody good idea and means you can have an evening party with a "champagne reception".

I would expect to pay for all of my drinks in the evening. And that would be if i was an all day guest or just an evening one. Providing the amount you have mentioned is standard, would not expect anymore.

We had our wedding reception on Saturday (We had an ACTUAL piss up in a brewery) and my dad put £250 behind the bar which the staff kept a running tab on until it was gone, then the guests paid for their own drinks. We managed it by instructing the staff they were only to put the drink on the tab if either my husband or I were there with the guest and gave them the nod.

Agreed sonyaya and it's stories like that that put me off doing a paid for bar at our wedding.

I floated the idea with a couple of our mates and their reaction was 'yes, free bar!!!' - I gently reminded them that actually it's not free, WE'RE paying for it.

My dad was muttering about paying for the bar.
I've said no. I know a few of my friends will take the piss.
I'm not stopping him setting up a tab and paying for drinks for his family (and anyone he fancies pay for).
But I know it'll dissolve into tequila shots!

A glass of bubbly on arrival then pay for my own x

I realise I'm in the minority but I wouldn't expect to pay for drinks. Well, after 3 years in the UK I wouldn't be shocked anymore, at least, if I had to. I'm from Continental Europe and in my culture it is totally unacceptable to invite people to an event (birthday, wedding etc.) and not 'feed and water' them properly. I remember my first family event here in the UK - an in-law's birthday in a fancy venue: No food and had to pay for my drinks! If this had happened in my home country the guests would have just left. If you cannot afford to make sure your guests have plenty to drink and eat then invite fewer people. But again, I realise things are different in different countries and I respect the British ways. However, OP, if you have non-British guests, make sure you mention this on the invite, people may not have cash/cards with them.

I wouldn't expect any drink to be provided at the evening do whether I'd been there all day or not. Yes to table wine for the meal but you're doing that.

I would expect a pay bar in the evening too.

I would expect to pay for my own drinks....

PetitTorteois, I've been to weddings in Europe and excluding Britain and Ireland, the drink was supplied - though the whole drinking behaviour was overall very different.

We put enough behind the bar to cover a few drinks for each person.

I wouldn't expect not to have to buy drinks at weddings I attend as a guest but we had a completely open bar at ours, because it's just not the done thing at Jewish weddings to ask guests to pay for their own drinks. My mother would have turned in her grave if anyone had had to put their hand in their pocket at our wedding

I have been to dozens of weddings if a range of venues over the years but only once ever been to a wedding with a partial free bar in the evening (and that ran out quickly due to some guests taking advantage!) so IME a cash bar is definitely the norm.

You sound like you are supplying ample for the day guests.

We paid for our bar for all guests as it's just something we wanted to do and it did cost a bloody fortune and people took the piss but I wouldn't expect to not pay for drinks.

I do think one free drink is nice on arrival though and and have been to weddings where we got 2 raffle tickets each for a drink and then a cash bar.

I think whatever is in your budget, or others have said everyone expects to pay.

And also at my best friends wedding hardly anyone drunk the bottles of wine on the table (1 red 1 white each) so there were around 10 bottles still there when the evening guests arrive and they could help themselves to that.

1 wedding I went to the invites told us the wedding started 2 hours before it did as they didn't want guests to be late. We got there at 12.30 for a 1pm wedding that wasn't actually until 3pm. The drinks were ridiculous priced. £14 for a very small glass of wine and £8 for a bottle of corona.
One guest done a quick dash to the offy and loaded up in spirits and wine

I'd be embarrassed at having people make the effort to come to my wedding and then not even give them one drink.

I think one welcome drink is a minimum.

We had wine on the tables and arrival and toast drink.

We had a 'free bar' for soft drinks only which was our compromise...had a sign up so people knew.

That way we felt comfortable that we were keeping guests watered theoughout the day and night and those that wanted to buy alcohol could. It was a couple of hundred quid if I remember which was fine. No way could we have stretched to a free bar though and I don't think it's the norm at all.

Your drinks allowance for day guests is good, we had similar back in the pre kids days, your wedding will be fun! At ours, in laws actually put some money behind the bar and once that ran out guests paid. Could run out before evening of course with that system. Hard to spot evening arrivals to bring out champagne - could you later on a load of glasses of Champers when the evening food is served?

We had a table set up for the evening guests when they entered to give them a glass of prosecco on arrival. I don't think it's mandatory though as I've been to some evening weddings where there was no arrival drink.

We also had an evening buffet for all guests

We provided a drink for toasting, a few bottles of wine per table.

For the welcome drink it worked out quite expensive for a mixture of alcohol and non, we spoke to the venue about the cost of the most expensive drink people were likely to order (I think it was £3, obviously going back a few years!) then we printed some business cards on Vistaprint saying this voucher entitles you to a drink at venue. We put money behind the bar and then as some people had soft drinks and some had spirits (not many as we got married at 11.30am) the costs were evened out and people had their choice of drink

Ps for day guests we had glass of prosecco after the ceremony, half a bottle of wine each with the meal and prosecco each for the toasts.

I'm pleasantly surprised if there is even food for the evening guests.

Or even somewhere to sit.

Am not a fan of attending as an evening guest, wouldn't bother nowadays unless it was very local.