Do you expect to pay for our own drinks at he evening do of a wedding?

[WhistlingBetty]

I am getting married in six weeks and we need to let he venue know what we want to do about the bar.

We have 100 day guests and as well as canapes and a three course meal alcohol included is:

3 X glasses of champagne
Half a bottle of wine

We have an additional 30 guests for the evening and are doing a hot buffet. How much alcohol would you expect to be covered as an evening guest or a day guest going to the evening party? We can't afford a free bar.

I wouldn't expect either food or free drink at an evening do.

Drink on arrival.
Wine on the table.
Bar .....buy your own.

I've been to weddings with a cash bar, ones where you get a token for a drink or a couple of drinks and weddings with a free bar.

Nearly every hotel wedding we have been to with a free bar we noticed were really ripping the bride and groom off. For example I drink spiced rum and coke, when we bought drinks the night before the wedding and I ordered a drink it was the standard spiced rum during the wedding when I ordered they consistently gave me (until I started specifying the cheaper one) premium rum which was over double the price of the standard one.

As a day guest I'd expect nothing paid for after the meal. As an evening guest I'd expect a drink on arrival and nothing else

To be fair, nearly all the weddings I've been to, the drinks have all been included all night - BUT - I would not have thought twice about having to pay. People understand that weddings are bloody expensive!

No way would I have paid for drinks for our guests at the bar. We had wine on the tables for wedding breakfast which cost enough.

I don't think people expect drinks, just buffet.

I would expect to pay for my own drinks.

Also

Putting money behind the bar for one drink for everyone wouldn't work IMO.

Some people might take the piss and get an extra drink, sone people might get hideously expensive drinks, and it may leave those who get to the bar last not getting one.

I recently attended a wedding in England where to the bemusement of the guests, when the father of the bride and then the best man proposed the toasts and asked us all to raise our glasses, no-one had a drink.

I could see the car-crash moment approaching, but thought sod it, not my wedding, not my monkeynuts.

We had a free bar all evening, I would never ever advise anyone to do this. Almost everyone behaved beautifully but there were a few idiots who drank like sailors on shore leave just because it was free. They made things considerably less fun for quite a few other guests, and us, obviously.

Another relation of mine had a free evening bar and one of the guests vomited over the table which all the wrapped wedding presents had been placed on. Brides mother and grooms mother had to don rubber gloves and unwrap vomitty parcels to try and salvage the presents inside.

Dontcallmelon's guests are obviously better bred than mine

I'd expect to pay. I get married later this year and we just don't have the money to put behind the bar and probably won't provide drinks with the meal either (just can't with our budget)although we have bought some love dispensers very cheap (5 ltr each) and will fill these with squash for the kids to help themselves. Venue prices are reasonable though

I have only been to 1 wedding where it wasn't free and there they gave a little envelope of raffle tickets to each table that could be exchange for drinks at the bar- a way of limiting drinks but being fair I think (so early birds didnt use up all the cash behind the bar)

I would expect to pay. A drink on arrival would be nice though.

I've been to hundreds of weddings (as a supplier) and hardly any have provided a free bar at the evening do. The ones that did tended to be self catered affairs in marquees/village halls where the b&g had done a booze run and provided wine or bottled beer.

In places with alcohol licences I think people expect to pay for their own drinks in the evening.

This is the weird thing that comes up on these threads. Like there's two different parallel universes interacting on MN

dontcallmelen says she's never been to a wedding that she's paid for drinks at, and says she thinks its because she's Irish. Whereas I too am in Ireland and over my many years have been to numerous weddings here and have never ever experienced a free evening bar. Ever. I've even gone as far as asking my parents about weddings when i was a child and they weren't free either. Its weird!!!

Our package included half a bottle of wine and two glasses of prosecco per person. We then put £750 behind the bar to cover the first couple of drinks per person (75 people), expecting that people would pay cash when it ran out. However, because of a fair few people not drinking, a lot of the drinkers got a lot more than half a bottle each, so when it came to the evening bar our guests didn't even run through the whole money - we got a refund of about £150! And that was with quite a few people getting very drunk. I was amazed.

dontcallmelen thank you so much for that - I've been trying to figure out a good amount to stick behind the bar for our 100 guests so what you wrote is v v v v helpful!

As an evening guest I have never had free booze and wouldn't expect it. You allowance for day guest sounds fine you don't need to put any more behind the bar (except for yourself maybe as you won't have a purse)

OP could I make a suggestion? You have wine and champagne free for the day guests, which is lovely. Perhaps you could include free soft drinks during the afternoon also?

We've been to a sumptuous afternoon wedding reception where there was wall-to-wall free champagne & wine and everyone was getting totally plastered, but I had to buy my own (and teen dc's) soft drinks and I was rather miffed about it.

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar...

If I've been an all day guest there's usually a half bottle of wine per person with the meal and a glass of fizz for the toast and that's it.

If I've been just a night guest, pay for all own drinks but a buffet provided.

I have only ever been to one wedding where drinks other than those served with the meal were paid for. And that was an extremely flashy, no expense spared wedding - still, every time I went to the bar, I took money and offered to pay! Just in case the B&G had put a certain amount behind the bar and it might have run out. Didn't want to appear presumptious! Every other wedding I've ever attended, we've paid for extra drinks at the bar during the day (after the wine served with the meal had run out) and definitely for all our own drinks in the evening reception.

Free drink in the evening, not the wedding events I've been to.
Have been pleasantly surprised by some couples providing food mid-way through the evening but again, wouldn't expect it.

Id expect to pay for my own drinks for an evening do.

The weddings where we've been to wedding and reception straight after have usually given a drink on arrival and sometimes a bottle of wine on the table.

Weddings where I've been only to the night time party haven't given a drink on arrival as that's all already been done during the day.

My Dad went to order himself a pint at the bar and when he went to hand over his money he was told that b and g had left cash for everyone's first drink, my Dad then said to tip the pint out and he'd have a triple whiskey, went back to his table and got his wife, son and inlaws to also order triple whiskeys as their free drink and he'd pay for the tea, coffe and pop after they'd been served. Other people cottoned on and did the same so it ended up where a quarter of the guest used all the money left behind the bar as they rushed to bar to order more expensive drinks that they weren't planning on drinking if they were buying themselves.

I would expect to pay for anything beyond a welcome drink, a couple of glasses of vino with dinner and a toast drink (and honestly, I expect those as a minimum duty of the hosts).

However, we provided a free bar at our wedding. We put stuff out at the right times (welcome cocktails/beers/cordials, wine on tables etc, tea/coffee whenever) but, practically, encouraged anyone to have what they wanted at any point during the day or night. We spent, um, a lot on booze.

I've also never been to a wedding with a free bar. Even at the day reception I've only been served one glass of wine for the toast.
Have never expected it either.