Do you expect to pay for our own drinks at he evening do of a wedding?

[WhistlingBetty]

I am getting married in six weeks and we need to let he venue know what we want to do about the bar.

We have 100 day guests and as well as canapes and a three course meal alcohol included is:

3 X glasses of champagne
Half a bottle of wine

We have an additional 30 guests for the evening and are doing a hot buffet. How much alcohol would you expect to be covered as an evening guest or a day guest going to the evening party? We can't afford a free bar.

I would expect to pay.
Apparently if the bar is free, all that happens is people aren't fussed about leaving half drunk drinks around everywhere and therefore costing you a fortune.

I've been to weddings where people have said , we've put 200 pounds behind bar to start you off so that's what I'd go for.

Spend the money on your honeymoon!!!!

I think your alcohol for the meal is very generous.

Can you perhaps take 1 glass of champagne off that, and offer evening guests a free glass of champagne on arrival and they pay for their own.

I expect to pay for my own drinks throughout. I am pleasantly surprised if I go to a wedding and there is some free alcohol!

Would expect to pay for my own drinks in the evening, no need to provide anything at all.

Most of the weddings we go to, we don't have to pay for anything.

The ones where we do, I don't mind pay.

The weddings I've been to have had a bottle or two of wine on each table. When that's been drunk, people have to buy their own drinks.

How on earth would be bar be able to keep track of who's had their free drink and who hasn't?

Only been to one wedding with a free bar and one with a certain amount of cash behind the bar, after it ran out guests paid.

I'd never expected free drinks, I'm there for a wedding not a free drink

If you have the money, I would provide a drink on arrival, and then free soft drinks. This can also stop people getting too drunk. But if you can't, it is fine to have a total pay bar.

Tizzy mn is indeed a parallel universe 😃 I have just never come across a paid bar, though dd has been to many more weddings than I & it's been a mixture of pay/free my dd wedding wasn't extravagant as such not in a castle or stately home, was in a function room of a very 'naice' pub which also organised weddings so with what we saved on venue we were able to have a really lovely sit down meal & paid bar.
I'm not criticising anyone's choices & how ever people people choose to celebrate I'm sure the weddings were lovely & a good time was had by all.

WhistlingBetty I meant to say, sometimes I've been to weddings where I've not bought a drink because there were bottles of wine from the meal still on the table.

This has happened to me to as a evening guest too. But this is only down to me being a wine drinker, rather then there being a free bar.

What's the 3 glasses champagne for? Toasts? I think one per person is enough - lots of people don't drink champagne and often the champagne drinkers get the undrunk glasses too

I wouldn't be the slightest concerned if I had to pay for my own drinks. In fact, I'd rather pay for my drinks then I don't have to worry about looking like I'm taking the piss by how much I drink!
The only time I think you should put money behind the bar is if your wedding is at an extortionate venue and your guests would struggle to afford the drinks, otherwise I just took it as normal that you pay for your own evening drinks.
To be honest, you sound like you're being generous enough!

dontcallmelen your dd has crossed over between the universes!!

On top of the parallel universes, i recall a thread where the term 'paid bar' caused mass confusion.

Some thought it meant 'a bar that you go to and have to pay for your own drinks' and others who thought it meant 'a bar where you don't have to pay (because the bride and groom have paid for it)'.

It caused many pages of arguments 'i've never "experienced a paid bar" v "its always been a paid bar" and then lots of posters realised they'd been saying the same thing just thinking paid bar meant the opposite to each other.

We still didn't solve the mystery of the parallel universe Irish weddings though!!

Yes I would expect to pay for my own drinks. The cost of alcohol can far exceed the cost of food. Unless the bride and groom are minted, they will need small loan to provide a free bar at a wedding.

No, I don't.

I'd have no expectations either way. Been to evening wedding receptions, where there's been a free bar or a pay bar.

I always go expecting to have to pay and then its a bonus when you don't have to.

However we put money behind the bar for ours and it didn't run out. I guess it depends whether you have the type of friends who would abuse a free bar.

All of my 3 children paid for their own weddings and I paid for the evening bar. Without exception the guest were really surprised to have a free evening bar. I had no idea that people expected to pay for their drinks these days. In my day the parents paid for everything. I do not regret paying, they all have very nice friends and on all occasions we were surprised at how low the bar bill was and we were thanked profusely by the guests.

So in answer to your question, guest nowadays expect to,pay for their own drinks.

I've never had a free drink at an evening reception and would fully expect to pay for my own. However, it would be nice to have a glass provided on arrival but not sure how you would do it. What would stop the other 100 day guests from availing of the drink you had laid on for evening guests?

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar!
On the contrary, it's usually an overpriced bar.

Weddings in my family and friends have had a free bar most of the time. When we have had to pay it has been clear on the invite. The only time I found it to be an issue was when the invite wasn't clear. I didn't bring money but thank goodness DH did and a good friend thought the whole thing was hilarious because the bride is a snob and this was a complete hospital gown move.

We paid for beer, wine and soft drinks at the bar in the evening (any spirits had to be paid for) but we also knew that our families were not big drinkers so the cost wouldn't be that high. We also asked to be told if the amount being spent went over a certain amount (didn't actually happen), that way we could choose to stop the drinks being free if it looked like it would cost too much.

I've never been to a wedding where the evening reception had a free bar. It's usually just the wedding breakfast where the drinks are free isn't it? Unless of course you're super rich.

The only free bar I've gone to was an engagement party, and there was x amount behind the bar. People were being pigs and getting two bottles of wine before the tab ran out,which wasn't very long.

I have only been to 1 wedding with a free bar, however the reception was in marquee in their own garden. So not a bar in a venue. For our wedding we provided a welcome drink of a glass of prosecco, 1/2 bottle of wine per person on table, glass of champagne for the toast and 2 barrels of beer for day/evening. There was a bar in the venue which we checked out 1st to ensure they wouldnt rip off our guests with inflated prices. Everyone was happy and pretty merry by the end.

I expect to pay for drinks, although a glass on arrival is a nice thought.

I wouldn't expect a free drink at all