Neighbours shagging in their hot tub at 5am this morning

[SmallVera]

And the bastards regularly have loud parties in that festering chlamydia soup with their mates until the early hours at least twice a week.

They're keeping me awake and waking up the DC and I'm fed up with it.

They are really brash and vulgar and alas I am an anxious type and not brave enough to confront them.

But what can I do?!

Or even:

Oh that is sooooooooooooooo funny.

Turn a massive searchlight onto them until they stop.

Hot tubs are for chavs. Yuch

yes shagging where you could be overseen by small children is exactly the sort of decision warping I'd expect from coke-heads. It's not really funny as a situation, it's disgusting.

Of course it's not really funny. It is pretty revolting but what can one expect of people like that? Glad the police are involved.

Set off some fireworks.

Wish my eyesight was good enough to see lines of coke and some bloke's tackle at 5am in the dark

Rental property with an outdoor hot tub... in the UK??
Wouldn't happen in my neighbourhood.

Give them a round of applause as they finish. Every. time. Soon put them off.

I know someone who has similar neighbours.

Are you in Aberdeen? In the naice bit?

ColaCoaster most people have outdoor lighting - especially if they have a hot tub. And if someone is chopping and arranging something on a table then bending down and sniffing it up through a rolled up note the op is probably right in thinking they're not doing the Times crossword!

This is such a hot topic it's on both Discussions of the Day and Trending placemarking me oh no

Knock on the door with a bottle of wine, look really apologetic and say "I just came over to apologies profusely for my friends teenagers videoing you having sex in the hot tub the other night. I am so so sorry - we have erased the tape and I don't think they managed to get it onto social media before we caught them. We've told them off a bit and they are good kids so I hope it doesnt happen again but if it does let us know and we'll ground them for a day or so"

I can't remember when I laughed so much. You have done the right thing to report them though. I would tell landlord if you know him as it is unlikely he would want drugs being used in his house, and especially if it is his hot tub.

Of course you could always put marks out of ten in your window, for originality , flexibility and self expression .....

Id change your wifi name to "that hot tubs full of semen soup" next time their friends are round

Ugh! I puked in my mouth at swinging bollocks and chlamydia soup!!

Thats disgusting! Hope police and agent act appropriately!!

Semen soup ......boak

Forget the piranhas, you need those little fish from the Amazon that apparently swim up men's urethras and bite their insides....or something....probably an urban myth......

As for chlamydia soup, it's put me off cock-a-leekie for life this thread.....

We hired a hot tub for DC's birthday. The thing smelt of broccoli by the end of the weekend. I'd never want to own one.

Coincidentally DH and I were standing in the porch at about midnight last night when our next door neighbour popped out to the wheely bin on the kerb (about 10 metres) stark bollock naked. We were surprised, but not as surprised as he was on the return trip when he turned and saw us: cue weird half crab scuttle/hop, skip, jump into house with his back to us and his winky facing the neighbourhood.

It sounds positive that the police have got back to you already OP. Hopefully it will calm down a bit if they have a word.

I'm literally crying with laughter reading this thread, sorry OP as sounds awful for you, but some of these comments/suggestions are wonderful...I'm almost wishing my neighbours get a hot tub to try them out

Cock-a-leekie

I do love MN. Fireworks, piranhas, BB guns and scorecards to make me larf and proper good advice that seems to have got a result...

The agents have emailed back to apologise about the tenants' behaviour and said they've been in touch with them and that it won't happen again.

YEAH!

Basically I'm just picturing Terry-Thomas

I'm pretty sure people in black and white films never had sex.

Terry-Thomas was too much of a gentleman rogue to behave in such a way in the garden or at all.

If anyone in the SW sees a hot tub for sale on Gumtree later this week for heaven's sake don't buy it..

Is it one of those inflatable hot tubs? If so, I'd be temped to stick a pin it.

I'd be tempted to send them a note

Dear Neighbour

You appear to have a large mole on the underside of your left bollock and another on your perineum. Please get these checked out, skin cancer can kill.