Neighbours shagging in their hot tub at 5am this morning

[SmallVera]

And the bastards regularly have loud parties in that festering chlamydia soup with their mates until the early hours at least twice a week.

They're keeping me awake and waking up the DC and I'm fed up with it.

They are really brash and vulgar and alas I am an anxious type and not brave enough to confront them.

But what can I do?!

The toaster idea gets my vote.

Cheer & clap & make encouraging noises - it might shame them into stopping but probably not

If they are renting, it's worth contacting the agents. They will probably warn the tenants, possibly in writing, which might be enough to quieten them down a little (possibly not given how you describe them). We did it with tenants near us who parked blocking the road when they first moved in, the next day their cars left the road clear. I don't think there is anything the agents can do if the tenants ignore them though.

We had a similar problem. You have 2 choices - move, or do something about it. The latter would involve getting the council and the police involved. The police will NOT deal with the noise. They will, however, deal with the activities in the hot tub. If they are renting, they are breaking the terms of their rental agreement. Try and find out who the landlords are, and complain to them. They don't want or need the hassle or expense of dealing with complaints and will hopefully explain this to their tenants. Try the ASB team if this is not the case; if they actually own the property, I would consider moving. The council have little or no powers to deal with morons like this.

I think that you have get a few neighbours involved tbh, I did this with a untrained barking dog, when the complaint wasn't just from me but also neighbours they took notice (they gave the dog away as she couldn't face training it).

Get a few neighbours to also complain to the letting agent, has the garden been damaged in any way? report that also if so.

We caught our neighbour masturbating in the garden in the summer. Kids were playing, I was sitting on the patio and my husband was upstairs, opened the window to talk to me and saw it. Police were called and he was taken in a paddy van but because his erect penis wasn't completely exposed to us the police couldn't prosecute him. Fortunately next door is a rental and the landlord (who is an utter wet lettuce) was forced to kick him out by the council.

Keep a log for evidence later, things could escalate badly

The call to the police needs to be, "They are having sex and snorting coke potentially in full view of my 8 year old son" (if he hasn't seen them yet, he soon will by the sound of it). The noise is a side issue that won't interest the police, but that doesn't matter because they are already committing at least two criminal offences.

Don't warn the neighbours in any way beforehand because you want the police to be able to swab the coffee table for cocaine residue.

Don't take any video evidence of the shagging unless the police expressly tell you it is OK to do so. The law on this was recently - ahem - stiffened to prevent revenge porn and you don't want the twats suing you.

I would dump a bottle of supper strength hotsauce in the hot tub, but I am nasty when someone disturbs my sleeping kids.
Warning: this could be considered actual bodily harm and you may be liable for it.

I'm sorry OP but i'm still laughing at swinging bollocks

Find out who they rent off? And find out if shagging in the garden is even legal, if it isn't I'd be tempted to report it just so you don't have to go through the sex noises and swinging bollocks again!

It was the end of a very long line of problems Navy. We'd been calling the police for about 12 months for a whole host of other issues, drugs/noise etc.

The police explained to us that as long as a person believes that they cannot be seen then they have a right to do those sorts of things within their own garden.

I have a similar problem with my next door neighbours who have LOUD sex at 11.30pm every night without fail. Their bed is on the other side of the wall to my terrace house bedroom. I can't move my bed as I have a fixed wardrobe on other side of room.

I've tried many things. Laughing loudly through the wall. Cheering. Playing 'Let's It Get It On' at full volume. Last night I think I finally fixed the problem. Every time he did his mmmMMMMMmmm groany thing , I did a g loud groan myself! After a while they paused and I heard them move the bed. Success! So pretend to enjoy the show and you might find it grosses them out and they stop. Of course they may just invite you to join in. Could be an option?

Not sure how I will face them on the street now they think I am sexual deviant but at least I don't have to listen to it anymore!

Just keep reporting it to the letting agent and if your city has an Environmental Health team, ring them every time their parties go on past 11pm. Fuck talking to druggies.

Gaaaaah that's revolting, poor you having to deal with that (literal) wanker.

I've reported to the police and council via their online forms so there's a record of the communication. I've also emailed the letting agency whose board was outside their house. Thanks for advice folks.

The police form asked for a "description of the suspects" I managed to avoid all talk of swinging bollocks.

I'll let you know what happens!

Urgh some folks are gross and have zero shame. Ming-a-ding!

Ring your environmental health team every single time and keep a log, can you get neighbours on side too, the more who complain the better and you can stay anonymous to the neighbours too.

We had quite a few incidents last year with residents who were renting in our road, tarted with screaming fights in the street in the early hours for a week solid, then went onto dog fouling in our gardens, drug dealing from their front garden and the final straw came when coming home from school with ds at around 3.30 the son of the family was dressed up in a skirt and vest top, high heels with 2 oranges shoved down his top probably off his face on something and stopped in the middle of the street to take a dump.

every single incident was reported, they were finally kicked out the end of jan

Ooo place marking, curious to see the outcome of this. How inconsiderate of them. Think I would have sent an anonymous note, asking if they are aware that neighbours are able to see their early morning sessions (hopefully embarrassing them). Also asking them to tone down their parties, and have consideration for other residents. Good on you for reporting!

Piranhas?

BTW an anonymous call or note to the agent is fine if you are justifiably worried about reprisals.

It's "better" when the people are council or Housing Association tenants, because they tend to enforce their tenancies better than the private sector, which I suspect is what happen when people get kicked out.

The agent can only help you if the owner uses their management services.
We had no further contact with the agent after our tenant moved in and managed the rental ourselves.
Unless you have the owners contact details the agent won't be able to give them to you for data protection reasons.

You have to go to your bedroom window and look out - sounds to me as if you are protesting a bit too much. If you don't like it don't look.

What sort of position were they in when you could see swinging bollocks from inside the hot tub. You have excellent vision OP

Festering chlamydia soup really does create a (god awful) picture! Thought about a career in writing OP?

Keep us posted.