Neighbours shagging in their hot tub at 5am this morning

[SmallVera]

And the bastards regularly have loud parties in that festering chlamydia soup with their mates until the early hours at least twice a week.

They're keeping me awake and waking up the DC and I'm fed up with it.

They are really brash and vulgar and alas I am an anxious type and not brave enough to confront them.

But what can I do?!

[Zombiepussy]

"Festering chlamydia soup" pmsl , actually broke with that phrase hahaha . Feel your pain tho , same shit but with added ankle biter yappers

[SmallVera]

Obvs going down the urethra fish route if it happens again

[SmallVera]

Nothing since Sunday morning. Hopefully the managing agents can talk to them again but tbh as long as they're paying rent it's not in the agent's interests to rock the boat is it?

[Itisnoteasybeingdifferent]

Are they still at it?

[SpartaCarcass]

Urg. Hope it didn't go on too long :(

[Ineke]

Film, and record it, get evidence, and report first to landlord, then to police. May cause ill feeling with neighbour though, so perhaps speak to them first and give a chance for them to at least moderate behaviour, not so late at night, noisy etc. Then, if no improvement, act.

[Evilstepmum01]

'Rutting'. Boak indeed. Sorry to hear they've woken your wee man, nothing worse. Have you asked them to shut the fuck up? If not, video the noise from your ds's room and start a complaint with the council. Hope you both get some sleep. And hope those selfish barstewards get cock rot.

[curvyfrog]

Can you sneak in with a bottle of gravy browning and tip the whole bottle into the water? That will put them off.

[SmallVera]

I knew it was too good to last. My delightful neighbours are at it again. Not the rutting as yet but they're sitting with friends in the same fetid water that they expelled their sex juices into earlier in the week. Boak.

Screeching and bellowing to make themselves heard over the noise of the water pump.

Smaller DS has already woken up

How can they possibly think this is OK?

[frankiedog]

I've just thought of a good one.

You can still buy bottles of ink, the type you fill up fountain pens with. A nice turquoise ink which would just make the water look a bit bluer. You will need a few bottles of this and something with enough power that could fire the liquid over the fence into said hot tub. You could test this with water when they're not around.

Wait until they have started their party, until they're getting drunk and vacate the pool to refill their drinks and fire . Make sure that they are really out of it and they won't notice. 'Wow that water looks nice and blue'.....

It would be so funny if you could pull this off. They would turn a lovely shade of turquoise all over, which would be really difficult to get off.

In their drunken state they a) wouldn't realise and b) think that there was something wrong with the hot tub the next morning when they wake up. It couldn't be your fault could it ?

In the meantime I hope all these comments have kept you laughing,

You need to keep us updated.

[ClaryIsTheBest]

You just need a private hottub.

I have fond memories of these things:

We also used to have them at smaller family reunions (when we were little for us kids. Had a blast...)

[tartancoat]

The bubbling kind, the ones that go Bubbly Bubbly Bubbly. And then talk about you behind your back in that bubbly kind of way.

[ClaryIsTheBest]

water recycling things

what kind of hottub are you talking about? :0

[tartancoat]

Well, all I can say is that you haven't suffered under the hands of cleaners like I have. Just stay away from water recycling things and you'll be fine, like the nurses keep telling me. Dettol is my friend, you know? I like your shoes.

[ClaryIsTheBest]

*my boat ;)

[ClaryIsTheBest]

:0

Well, the slapping doesn't float your boat.

But the cleaning ladies (or men, I suppose) obviously clean the tub.

It's empty and clean when we arrive. And then we fill it up with water and hop in...

I don't get the disgust.

[tartancoat]

You could be the scrubber Claryls with a Brillo Pad and a six pack of Vim in your suitcase. Unless that floats your boat, of course, in which case get out of the tub this minute and slap yourself around your nethers with a rolled up copy of The Lady until you see sense.

[ClaryIsTheBest]

don't get so comfy in your après ski tub (to quote James Delaney) It Has Plans For You.

What kind of plans? I don't think the tub in a chalet has plans for me? ;)


Unless you think I'm the sleazebag, of coure

[MusicToMyEars800]

SmallVera I didn't even see that

[SmallVera]

There's an ad for hot tubs beneath that Sun piece.

[tartancoat]

Claryls hot tubs are the playthings of sleazebags, scubbers and stubborn infections. IMHO, of course.

Next time, don't get so comfy in your après ski tub (to quote James Delaney) It Has Plans For You.

Bwahaha.

[ClaryIsTheBest]

Can somebody explain why mumsnet hates hottubs? (although in this instance the issue quite obviously isn't the hottub)

A hottub after skiing (snowboarding/snowshoeing)? it's rather nice...

[Oysterbabe]

My friend has one he lures lady friends back to. We call it the gene pool.

[MusicToMyEars800]

I have just seen this story in the sun!!
www.thesun.co.uk/living/3037847/angry-mumsnet-user-goes-ballistic-about-naughty-neighbours-who-keep-having-sex-in-their-hot-tub-at-5am/

[Onecutefox]

MusicToMyEars800 Thu 09-Mar-17 11:20:47
fill the hot tub up with a big bottle of vegetable oil.

• a few stretchy lizards and snakes.