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Original poster

To be disappointed with my engagment proposal?

288 replies

TinyMackBear4 · 05/03/2017 19:00

I feel so silly writing this. In May last year just after a mc, my other half proposed. But I'm so disappointed in how he done it.
He had been stewing all day to do it (seen the box in his back pocket, pretended not to notice) eventually at 11pm, he woke me up told me he loved me and proposed there. So technically not even down on one knee.
I just feel so underwhelmed by it, I don't even like wearing the ring cause it reminds me of how badly done it was Blush

OP posts:
Birdsbeesandtrees · 05/03/2017 19:53

Bloody wish someone loved me that much.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/03/2017 19:53

Congratulations on your baby and your engagement, both wonderful things to be celebrated Smile

I've been married twice. First time the proposal was absolutely perfect. Garden filled with candles in glass jars on a rare snowy January night, down on knee, while shebang. It stands out as one of the most thoughtful things he ever did. Turned out he wasn't the perfect man, never mind the perfect husband and I was horribly unhappy.

This time, no proposal at all, though he did sort of ask me once the ring arrived (that we'd chosen together) and we'd already booked the venue! He's the best man I've ever met, we had a gorgeous very low key wedding and we're now enjoying an incredibly happy marriage.

I can see how if it's something you've long dreamed of your proposal was a bit of an anticlimax. But, does he make you happy? Look after you, cherish and love you? Was he supportive during your loss and your recent pregnancy, is he shaping up to be a good dad?

These are the things that will make you happy and your life together peaceful, content, mutually supportive, romantic and special.

frozenfairy123 · 05/03/2017 19:53

I absolutely get it! Maybe u could say to him that the shadow of the mc spoilt it and would there be any chance he could surprise u again? If he lives u he will understand? X

LittleLionMansMummy · 05/03/2017 19:54

Dh proposed to me in the following manner, having been drinking in the garden all afternoon in the summer. He'd had an afternoon off work so this happened when I got home.

Dh: I've got a proposal for you.

Me: No, I don't feel like going out this evening.

Dh: No, I wasn't going to ask that. I'll marry you but only if we do it at Glastonbury.

Me: Right. Is that a proposal.

Dh: If you like.

No ring at all.

Surprisingly we've now been together 15 years, very happily married for 8 and now have two dc together. Still don't have an engagement ring mind.

Honestly op, there are far more important things to get worked up about.

oblada · 05/03/2017 19:54

I didn't get a proposal. We started living together and my MIL had a bit of a fit over it (from abroad different culture) and decreed that we must be at least engaged if we're living officially together and sent the ring via a relative... So we were engaged... And got married some 15months later. We would have got married anyway eventually as we had discussed it before but his mother sped the process up a bit lol. Actually my engagement ring recently 'broke' (well one of the diamonds fell off) so I've been telling DH it's his opportunity to get me a ring himself... It was 6 months ago..let's see if I ever get one! We've been happily married for 7 yrs with 2 children so all of this really doesn't matter!

maggiecate · 05/03/2017 19:54

If you want to do it again you'll have to propose to him with all the bells and whistles and make that the official one. It is the 21st century after all!

But to be honest...yours sounds real and lovely. He was probably trying to think of ways to do it and how to get it perfect and then just panicked and thought "OMG panic attack hyperventilating can't wait have to do it now OMGGGGGGGG arrggghhhhh wake up love you marry me oh thank fuck she said yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!"

Bless him, he's a daft bugger but he's your daft bugger. Bet he went to sleep smiling.

Mumtobe12 · 05/03/2017 19:55

Yabu yes it would have been nice to be more romantic but at end of the day the man you love loves you and wants to marry you so you should be happy.
He probably had been trying to think about how to do it and got himself so worked up and not want to disappoint you. He may have even realised you spotted ring and thought he couldn't wait any longer to get it exactly right so just went for it.
Enjoy being engaged don't worry about how he proposed just that he did and you get the rest of your lives together

comedycentral · 05/03/2017 19:56

Annoying
Entitled
Pathetic
Get a grip

Blah blah blah

I know we describe this place as a nest of vipers but there is no need to be so rude.
This lady had a baby 10 bloody days ago, don't shit on her when she is clearly feeling a bit down.

OP you do need to move forwards and away from these feelings but be kind to yourself. You can't help how you feel. Maybe a little joint wedding planning with your OH will help you both.

girlname900 · 05/03/2017 19:56

i think its cute he woke u up to tell u , means it was on his mind a lot. :)

KoolKoala07 · 05/03/2017 19:56

My goodness I waited so long to be proposed to, I was just thrilled when he did. I was desperate to just be married to him.

KoolKoala07 · 05/03/2017 19:59

Just to add, My dad said to my mum ' I suppose we ought to get married then' and my mums reply was 'can do' they just celebrated 32 years married. That's what counts.

SleepymrsE · 05/03/2017 20:01

At least you can get your engagement ring on your finger OP. I still can't get my engagement or wedding rings back on 5 months post birth.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 05/03/2017 20:01

Flipin' 'eck! You're lucky to get that, me and my husband of twenty years just both asssumed we were engaged one day, and I picked my ring. It was a shitty engagement but at least he picked your ring. Don't let the proposal predict your future together, my husband wouldn't know romance if it slapped him in the face, not everything is hearts and roses. If it's a romantic man you're after and you feel he's not what you're looking for, then call it off.

altiara · 05/03/2017 20:02

At least you had a proposal!!!
I said to my DH while I was in hospital, I'd like to get engaged. He was happy about it and when I was put of hospital I had to bring it up again and we went ring shopping.
Yes I would have loved a big moment like in movies because that's who I am but he isn't, there is no way he would go down in one knee in a restaurant.

Dahlietta · 05/03/2017 20:04

also waiting for someone to point out marriage is a noun not a verb

Me too, but I'm not going to do it...

fullofhope03 · 05/03/2017 20:04

You have got to be kidding!
Please get a grip!

Starlight2345 · 05/03/2017 20:07

Congratulations on the birth of your baby and your engagement.

My worry is if you worry about how everythng should be on a proposal I worry for your hen do and wedding and foresee people posting about you.

You need to remember a wedding and and engagement are just a process to committing to spending the rest of your lives together and the 10 day old baby will tie you together more than any ring and wedding

troubleunderscoremaker · 05/03/2017 20:07

Been disappointed with mine as well. Not longer together, not because of that but obv shows a difference in preferences!

SquidgeyMidgey · 05/03/2017 20:09

Mine was mid-argument. I told him it didn't matter if we broke up because he didn't see us as long term as he'd repeatedly said he wouldn't marry again, he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. The end.

Real life isn't a performance that's months in the planning, unless you're some attention-seeking nerd who plasters every tint detail of their Perfect Life all over social media for all to see. Why didn't you propose to him in the way you wanted it to be done?

MrsMcMoo · 05/03/2017 20:17

Congratulations!

Mine just said 'do you want to get married?' in the pub one night. We were both very drunk.

Honestly, his proposal sounds sweet! I'd be a little suspicious of a man who did a 'perfect' proposal involving rose petals and suchlike.

lazyarse123 · 05/03/2017 20:18

I think you should wear your ring with pride, he obviously loves you and it must have been on his mind all day. I didn't have a proposal some family member asked if we were getting married and we both just said yes. My engagement ring was also a Christmas present from a catalogue. But we have been together 40 years this year so he must have got something right.

sarahC40 · 05/03/2017 20:20

My dh's proposal was written in my birthday card, which I opened as he was asleep (took my birthday off work, whereas I had to go in) and we chose the ring then together and it doubled as my birthday present. We were skint, relaxed about romance and very happy...we still are 20 years, two kids, two houses and a cat later. Life is about moments and memories, but really try to move on and make done for the two of you together, not swelling on the iffy ones. Just laugh at them and move on.

GTS · 05/03/2017 20:21

Congrats on the baby! I had mine 14 days ago. I have been stewing about stupid stuff all week, thank you hormones.
Give your head a wobble and go hug your man and your baby. There is plenty in life to get upset about, this is not one of those things.

MirandaWest · 05/03/2017 20:29

I've been proposed to twice. Both times were in bed and no going down on one knee. Much preferred it that way, but I'm not really keen on big gestures really

threesocksmeghan · 05/03/2017 20:30

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